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mgdartist -> RE: What is Love????????? (12/24/2006 2:58:39 AM)
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Love eh? I once wrote something which tried to answer that. Ive since learned that few agree with me, and that my own inconsistencies in character were more behind what I wrote than any understanding of love, or more to the point, my ability to love. Perhaps so, but nonetheless, I've not been dissuaded, and wonder that it seems i get naught but ridicule, called bitter etc. instead of true intelligent rebuttal:
MGD's Lament on Love
I've always had difficulty understanding why women invariably insist their men's brains be flooded with dopamine, much to his and their own detriment, ultimately, before accepting him as lover, husband, dominant or sex partner. While science hasn't yet proven
(or perhaps just not dared to infer)
"Love" is but a chemical imbalance, and it has been suggested quite undeniably, that the flood of dopamine and other mind-altering chemicals can only be sustained for a short time, around six weeks maximum, when the effects must ease and subside, and what's left are only deep affection, friendship, sexual attraction and such trappings as are incidental to the euphoric effects and emotional overtures brought on by a purely physiological chemical change in the brain.
But being no scientist, I am only qualified to write what it's been like to "love" for me, in my lifetime.
If you're a man, you see the Acronym "LTR" almost as a street sign in front of every woman/submissive's profile, and in real life, in her harping, demanding, suspicious of male sexual motive, melodramatic speeches and mandates.
Of course you can't blame them for holding out for something real and lasting, and dreaming of having those things every woman of self-respect should have. However, from a man's perspective, even if his intentions are honorable, it smacks of a certain fallacy. that being, "for us to be anything, you have to love me," with the full intent and focus being on, "for good"
I'm unsure about the other men out there, but for me, I've been through this little vicious circle enough to know two things:
Love can't be demanded, or coerced. Ever.
Love isn't about getting, or receiving love at all, and anyone whose loyalty or submission is predicated on receiving it is self-deluded.
The first time i ever got my heart broken, many years ago, i just couldn't believe it hurt so much, and how nothing seemed to make the pain subside. in my ensuing search for understanding, i finally came across something which made sense, and was the one thing that helped me recover and come back to as close as i ever got to understanding love:
"Love is a teacher
it teaches us we are alone
we came here alone,
and shall all leave this place, all ALONE
What joy love may bring
as we endure our short time here,
should be cherished
as our chance to Give our love
Whether it lasts 4 minutes,
or 49 years,
in the end, and always
we must re-learn the lesson:
that love is but illusion."
One has but to check the divorce rate, which is now well past 60% to know the truth of that last line. Both genders tend to blame the other for this, but with every failed marriage and relation, the illusory qualities of love are always at the core of the dysfunction. If you want to get a very clear picture of exactly what the end result of love is, spend the afternoon in a busy divorce court, as i did.
What I learned so very acutely, Is that in the courts eyes, and the lawyers minds, and much more in the mind of the women, in 3 of the 4 cases i watched, marriage was little more than a "business arrangement", while the 3 men i saw, to a man, seemed to be sitting there wondering what on earth happened to the
"LOVE?"
I don't seek to denigrate women here, as in reality I adore them, nor do I carry the baggage of abiding resentment toward them, as many men do.
Nonetheless, in my limited experience, women are very good at requiring it, and very good at discerning whether they're actually getting it, but never really big on giving it., All-the-while very quick to question the quality of said love given from me. It always seemed like a somewhat unfair game they played, imposing such exacting standards on what love i had to give, while withholding their own until satisfied with mine.
But love isn't a game, and perhaps my life is no good meter for love, as all it's ever really wrought for me are heartache, expense, and confusion. When I do fall in love, the man i become is someone i can barely stand. Weaker, more volatile, closer to unstable, off-center, needy, and much more prone to obsess. So, unless you're drop-dead gorgeous, and absolutely can't live without me being a drooling simp over you, I'll be looking to skip that love business henceforth. Just having someone around I like, and am comfortable with seems vastly superior to my mind. Not to say I'll never love again, as I've always felt little control of it's appearance, but do feel it's an excessive and needless show of feeling, am far from my best self when experiencing it, and will therefore ever live in fear of it's re-emergence.
Me afraid of love?
Actually, I very much want and need to be deeply in love with a woman I adore...as long as it's reciprocated in kind.
But, YES, I retain a healthy respect and fear of it, but at a much deeper level, question it's origins where women are concerned.
Why? Because to some degree, I believe it is used as the tool of women, to gain more control of men, being the weaker sex, they wish to make it a level playing field by imposing what is actually a mischaracterization of what happens to a man once over-come by the charms and allure of a woman. I'm sorry, but it isn't forever, isn't for a lifetime, and in fact the man is lucky to have it invoked for 2 months. Hence my own adage, which has been universally detested and hotly resented by every woman who see's it:
"Love was created by women, for women."
Whatever they want to think it is, and have us believe in so romantically;
IT LIKELY ISN'T THE CRANIAL CHEMICAL RELEASE AT ALL.
And if not, what then is it?
I'll admit I could be wrong.
Just think it's strange I've yet to meet a single woman who'd admit she could be wrong (in the common female context of "love" as a real and vital part of any relation), or that I may be
spot-on.
Well, I likely just cost myself another sexual encounter or two by breaching my little revelations here, butI truly dont seek to drive a woman away with all this, but to make her see that, if its to be unconditional Love, she'll need to prove to me she can give it, before she gets it.
..after all, being a woman, if she must require that which is such an enigma to a man, she should, being most knowledgeable, lead him by her example...no?
MGD
Hey, you asked...lol
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