HerEmeraldEyes
Posts: 51
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: Joliet, IL
Status: offline
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This is a hard topic and I’m thrilled to see it discussed.
I’m known in my circle of friends to be over-social, instinct and passion driven and very “spur of the moment”. I go where my instincts and my heart leads me and most of the time I’ve been dead on. I prefer to meet a submissive in public within a week or two of initial contact. (Unless mileage prevents it) If they are out of state, out of country, I do insist on a meeting within a 3 month period from the initial contact.
However I, as well as some others who’ve posted here, watch for certain red flags in letters, profiles and IM conversations. I prefer to talk to a submissive a few times online and on the phone before arranging a very public meeting in a place where there are many people.
Red flags for me are: blank profiles. Immediate demands for a phone call. Refusal to use YIM, Windows Messenger, AOL or any other form of live conversation tool. Any submissive that prefaces a first time conversation with “tell me what you’ll do to me” I am not interested in pornographic descriptions of my interests in a primary conversation. I am usually willing to meet in a public place within a week or two but highly insistent on spending that week or two in some form of live messenger chat, moving on to a few phone calls. However, because of being a mother, I am more protective of my phone number than most of the Dommes I am friends with.
I want to take a moment to tout the use of safe calls – someone I trust ALWAYS knows where I am, what I’m wearing, driving and the first and last name of the person I’m meeting. I have scheduled phone calls from or to that person during my “date” and if one is missed the police are called with my information. If there is no one in your life you can trust with a “blind date safe call” then at the minimum arrive to the location a few minutes early, learn your exit routes, do not be afraid to say good bye if you are uncomfortable. My favorite place to meet is at a restaurant INSIDE a mall. If you are feeling unsafe you can have security escort you to your car.
I also refuse solidly to go on any outing with any male who will not give me his first and last name. Every state in America provides a sex offenders registry somewhere online. Please take it from a woman who has been on the very scary side of abuse from a sick individual using BDSM as an excuse to hurt someone - CHECK YOUR POTENTIALS with the sex offenders registries. All you need is a first and last name and the town they live in. I have been written by over 15 people listed CURRENTLY with Collar Me who are on their state sex offender’s websites for sex crimes in the last 3 years alone. I cannot stress this enough.
If you feel that a submissive, dominant, anyone is being overly pushy, manipulative or dishonest, please listen to your instincts. In my opinion a good person, interested in the best for themselves and someone else, will be open in providing what is required to keep both parties safe. There should always be a tempering of exuberance with caution.
Happy New Year
Mistress Emerald
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RE: Domme's personal style of meeting subs... - 
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