RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom?

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (Full Version)

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defiantbadgirl -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 1:29:59 PM)
I don't currently have a dom, but I think the idea could work nicely both ways.

Kalira -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 1:30:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MmakeMme quote: ORIGINAL: Kalira LOL it's not my place to decide on whether or not Master should be disciplined. ~laughing too~ Indeed. LOL, ok, I asked Master this question and he actually thought it quite amusing. Brought to mind a picture of me telling Master ' Master, you have done wrong and must be disciplined. Your thinking must be readjusted" Umm...nope....can not see it ever happening lol. Master just laughed when I told him that and said try it and see what happens. Somehow, I do not think it would turn out in my best interest [8D]

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 1:31:22 PM)
Your choice of words may have gotten you some unpleasant replies. If we take the definition of discipline as an exercise to improve a skill or behavior, than we are all susceptible to training, and there is no reason it could not come from a submissive who had a skill useful for the lives of the D/ or M/s couple. I probably wouldn't choose to say my boy will discipline me about different things; but I'm hardly perfect, and happen to like smart boys from whom I can learn something, so there will be learning/training from both sides if we are to be in a long term relationship. M

AquaticSub -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 4:53:36 PM)
~Fast Reply~ Interesting question. I have never disciplined my dominant, exactly. However, I do inform him of things that he has done that have hurt, disappointed, or just ticked me off beyond what is normal. I have done this on only a handful of occasions and each time he has realized that either what he did or his approach in doing something caused me pain that simply was not needed, served no purpose, and could weaken our bond if the behavior was repeated. Once realizing this, he apologized, gave me a kiss, made it right and promised to not do it again. I feel this benefited both of us. Because of one particular discussion with him, he realized that while I always wanted him to finish his schoolwork before spending time with me, I did not appreciate him having to cancel a date we had planned weeks earlier because he spent all day playing video games and never bothered to check his schedule until right before we were supposed to leave. As a result, he started doing his work ahead of time so that he wouldn't ever have to worry about it again.

AquaticSub -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 4:55:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Doms are human, just like subs. That means both make mistakes from time to time and may need punishment. If there is any worry about damaging the dynamic of the relationship, I have an easy solution. A dom I used to know rewarded stars to his submissives for good behavior. Once the sub had so many stars, she could punish him for his mistakes. Runs for cover from all the angry doms for sharing this idea That's really cute.

akbarbarian -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 5:22:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Doms are human, just like subs. That means both make mistakes from time to time and may need punishment. If there is any worry about damaging the dynamic of the relationship, I have an easy solution. A dom I used to know rewarded stars to his submissives for good behavior. Once the sub had so many stars, she could punish him for his mistakes. Runs for cover from all the angry doms for sharing this idea That's really cute. Switchety switch switch switchy. That sounds rather switchy doesn't it? What's funny though, is as I got older I'd sometimes see adults behaving in a reprehensable way and comment to those around me that they needed parental discipline because clearly they still needed supervision. This was before my realization that I identify with BDSM.

AquaticSub -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 5:28:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Doms are human, just like subs. That means both make mistakes from time to time and may need punishment. If there is any worry about damaging the dynamic of the relationship, I have an easy solution. A dom I used to know rewarded stars to his submissives for good behavior. Once the sub had so many stars, she could punish him for his mistakes. Runs for cover from all the angry doms for sharing this idea That's really cute. Switchety switch switch switchy. That sounds rather switchy doesn't it? What's funny though, is as I got older I'd sometimes see adults behaving in a reprehensable way and comment to those around me that they needed parental discipline because clearly they still needed supervision. This was before my realization that I identify with BDSM. It doesn't sound switchy to me. Some have relationships where it is uncomfortable and even not allowed for the submissive/slave to present problems they have with their dominant/master to them. It creates a way for a sub/slave to present the problem without have to "step out" of their role because it's approved by the dom/master. And it's just fun to have stickers! [:)]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 5:31:11 PM)
AK- A master orders a slave to set the alarm, make the coffee and not allow him to stay on the computer later than 12 am, no matter what he may get lost in working on or distracted with. Should the slave then disobey and allow the master to work until 1am because it would be "switching" to do as ordered? Ds isn't about the actions- it's about the intent. A slave may discipline their master and be perfectly within the confines of the standard authority dynamic. I'm not sure why so many have such rigid ideas of what orders slaves may and may not obey and what orders masters may and may not give.

MmakeMme -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 6:01:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NaiveTempest I don't really have anything to contribute here, but I'm enjoying reading the post. Some make me laugh and some get me to thinking and understanding/learning. Thank you. ~smiling~ Precisely so, NT. The rich supply of experience, wisdom and humor is what keeps me coming back here. Good folks.

MmakeMme -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 6:10:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cinnfulhussy Well, I'll be honest. I am not a perfect slave who always defers gracefully and demurely to her master at all times, not a slave who accepts her place and never questions his actions. <snipped for brevity only> Your honesty is lovely, cinn. ~smiling~ I can relate to what you are saying.

MmakeMme -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 6:22:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross AK- A master orders a slave to set the alarm, make the coffee and not allow him to stay on the computer later than 12 am, no matter what he may get lost in working on or distracted with. Should the slave then disobey and allow the master to work until 1am because it would be "switching" to do as ordered? Ds isn't about the actions- it's about the intent. A slave may discipline their master and be perfectly within the confines of the standard authority dynamic. I'm not sure why so many have such rigid ideas of what orders slaves may and may not obey and what orders masters may and may not give. Wow. Great response. And to everyone, a round of polite applause, a plate of Death By Dark Chocolate Decadence, and your choice of beverage. Wonderful answers all of them, some of which I did not expect. Thank you.

Rover -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 6:29:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: How Does One Discipline a Dom? Wouldn't shouting out your safe word be considered "discipline"? In theory he/she is doing something they enjoy and you are stopping it. That would fall under the definition of discipline even if it is in the context of 'training' him/her to satisfy the submissive. It's similar to saying "NO!" to a puppy. That's an interesting use of a safeword. Not the way I would use one (as a communication device) but hey, whatever works for you is fine with me. John

Zensee -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 7:02:52 PM)
A rolled up newspaper is very effective. Z.

Grlwithboy -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 7:55:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross AK- A master orders a slave to set the alarm, make the coffee and not allow him to stay on the computer later than 12 am, no matter what he may get lost in working on or distracted with. Should the slave then disobey and allow the master to work until 1am because it would be "switching" to do as ordered? Ds isn't about the actions- it's about the intent. A slave may discipline their master and be perfectly within the confines of the standard authority dynamic. I'm not sure why so many have such rigid ideas of what orders slaves may and may not obey and what orders masters may and may not give. It's all labels and containers. I call that example "service" as it moves me forward, even in spite of myself. Like reminding me to take my immunosuppressant or bring a towel or whatever.

Devilslilsister -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/27/2006 8:13:39 PM)
i can get very passive aggressive. Topping from the bottom? I dont know and i dont care. If i see something that needs to be corrected, or i feel is wrong. i bring it up. Its up to him to change it or not. If its something i find hurtful or needless that upsets me/pisses me off or w/e - yeah i'll take matters into my own hands. To teach. My Dom used to put me on "ignore" for whatever reason. It did no good for us. I brought it up, mentioned it.. blah blah blah. Same ol. <shrugs> i put myself in a head space where i could flip the tables. Call me whatever, but if HE doesnt like being ignored and thinks its "wrong" then - um - maybe he'll learn something if its being done to him. Maybe he wont. Maybe he'll think its fine. Who knows? Its up to him to decide what he wants to do or learn from his once over eager sub who wanted him every minute to a girl who was always too busy. I'm told that a D/s relationship is not a double bladed sword. Yet i refuse to believe that answer. If its "ok" for him to do it, then it surely must be okay for me to do it. (which i have, of course said to him) And of course i tend to get introuble for these actions, but i dont really mind. If it benefits my relationship in the long run then thats whats important to me. We've come along away, so it seems i'm not too far off. We're doing better then ever and i cant say i care too much about the method of how we got here, so long as we're here. I'm not in this relationship for "me" or even for "him", i'm in it for "us" For the future of us, as its what "we" want. A future together. Neither of us are perfect and we both have alot of learning to do. He teaches me what he thinks will better our relationship as i try and teach him. Ultimetly, it comes down to applying what we've learned. We either do and our relationship is better off or we dont and it isnt.

MmakeMme -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/28/2006 5:08:52 AM)
Hey, lilsister! Haven't seen you around in awhile! You wrote: I'm told that a D/s relationship is not a double bladed sword. Yet i refuse to believe that answer. If its "ok" for him to do it, then it surely must be okay for me to do it. (which i have, of course said to him) And of course i tend to get introuble for these actions, but i dont really mind. If it benefits my relationship in the long run then thats whats important to me. We've come along away, so it seems i'm not too far off. We're doing better then ever and i cant say i care too much about the method of how we got here, so long as we're here. I must say that I admire that. Giving Him food for thought as it relates to your happiness and relationship. Of course His reaction is always up to Him, but since your happiness in the relationship is key to His Dominance (in that He must keep you to have a submissive) I have a feeling this is fairly common in LTRs, regardless of the semantics used to describe it. I cannot imagine being miserable, submitting to someone who loves making me miserable, and staying around to be miserable to eternity. Good for you. ~smiling~ (And good for Him too.)

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/28/2006 5:15:50 AM)
My thoughts are that it is a thinking person's relationship based on communication. That communication should entail the ability to speak freely and without reprisal in doing so. Verbal chastiesment is not the same as a Socratic debate or exchange of feelings. Without expression the relationship may stagnate and die. Ross

OrionTheWolf -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/28/2006 5:37:12 AM)
If the alarm never goes off, I still hold my girl responsible, and I am angry with her, regardless of the intent. Results mean alot more than intent and if intent is the only thing you look for, then it sets the bar much lower than what it needs to be. The reason people do anything is because of preferences. Often time the best intentions can have the worst results. Discipline a Master, sure but not this Master as I discipline myself and maintain open communication with my girl. It is not her place to discipline me. That is they way I like it and that is the way I want it. Orion quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross AK- A master orders a slave to set the alarm, make the coffee and not allow him to stay on the computer later than 12 am, no matter what he may get lost in working on or distracted with. Should the slave then disobey and allow the master to work until 1am because it would be "switching" to do as ordered? Ds isn't about the actions- it's about the intent. A slave may discipline their master and be perfectly within the confines of the standard authority dynamic. I'm not sure why so many have such rigid ideas of what orders slaves may and may not obey and what orders masters may and may not give.

agirl -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/28/2006 6:17:55 AM)
Nope. I have children to discipline........it's hard work. I have a sneaky feeling that if I could even be bothered to try it..........my safety would be in jeopardy. It wouldn't end prettily......lol agirl

hejira92 -> RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? (12/28/2006 7:41:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie quote: ORIGINAL: MmakeMme quote: ORIGINAL: hejira92 You're kidding, right? ~big grin~ To a degree, yes, although not exactly. Your comment made me laugh to myself. Your sig is delicious. I grin when I see her sig line because Master has said that to me a lot. In fact, if my Master had a brother, I would think hers and mine were related, lol. Thank you, ownedgirlie. I, too, often think we have many similarities in our relationships with our Masters. I enjoy your posts and appreciate the insights you share.

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