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SusanofO -> RE: Empty profiles: What does it tell you about a person? (12/27/2006 8:39:31 AM)
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I read profiles just for recreation, just because I like good writing, and some people here are really good at that. Also, I was a Marketing Management major in college, and it's interesting to me to read what people will do with the opportunity to write a profile.
There are some fantastic ones out there - written by both men and women. Some people on this site are just really good writers, and excellent at capturing what they are about, etc. I think they can sometimes be interesting to read for that reason. I am a fan of the well-crafted written word.
Caveat: I assume you are referring here to people who claim to be "seeking" someone. Not the people who have found someone (or not), and are just here for the forums. Some people write little because they either are just here to make friends, or have already found someone, or whatever the reason is - which is fine with me. People of course can do whatever they want to, but -
My opinion on this, just based on my own occasional recreational reading of profiles, is that -
While people seeking a partner can indeed find eachother through all kinds of unlikely avenues, the profile's purpose is to introduce themselves to others - and if they are seriously seeking someone - it makes little sense to me personally, not to put the opportunity writing a good one would probably provide to good use.
There are people, of course, who basically ignore profiles, or who place little stock in what they say. I realize that. I also realize that even if someone writes a great one, there is still a person behind the words one has to take the time to get to know, etc.
But - I think there is a reason the opportunity exists to write a good one. And that reason is that they are used as an introductory tool. It's an opportunity. To ignore that seems foolish to me.
That's just me. Other opinions differ, I am sure.
So - My opinion only:
If they are seriously seeking someone, and have not bothered to write more than a sentence or two about themselves and what they seek - or have, but what they have written is basically is empty, non-descriptive prose, or (God forbid) they've written nothing at all - it makes me think -
1)The person is lazy, or not seriously looking for someone else.
2) Or - That they are looking for a "casual connection" (one night stand, just bdsm or sex or both and no realtionship at all, etc.).
Sorry to be so blunt - but that's exactly what an empty or poorly written, or very brief profile says to me. Not that I personally care - but it just seems like a wasted opportunity to me.
**Because if they can't bother to write much to attract someone, how much effort is it likely they would put into any relationship? It's also pretty boring to read, and I can't help but wonder how they think this will appeal to most other people.
Of course, maybe there are reasons for it - like they've been recently hurt, or just aren't a very good writer, or lack confidence, or one of the other zillion excuses that could be out there. But still - they could make an effort. If they don't, there's a slight chance, I suppose, they'll find someone anyway.
I think they might be shooting themsleves in the foot, because the chances of attracting whatever it is they are seeking seem (to me) to decrease if they've got a boring, or extremely brief, or poorly written profile - and if it was better, then it's one more way they could attract someone maybe, and for whatever reason, they are choosing to not put the opportunity to effective use.
I realize it's a matter of personal choice, but - if a person really is seeking someone, not writing a decent, descriptive profile just makes little sense to me.
**But wait - there is an exception, come to think of it. One of my good platonic friends here at CM has a very brief, but humorous profile. I think it's charming (but am biased because I consider them a friend).
But I also got to know this person as a friend because I bothered to read some of his posts on threads - and found they were indeed a very smart, witty person, and an excellent writer. So - the writing ability as a communication tool did come into play after all, as far as me wanting to know them, even as a friend. The fact they were actually good, descriptive writer was attractive to me.
So - I think can matter.
People will end up doing whatver has proved in the past to work for them, for their own reasons, I think. But I think a well-written profile can provide an opporuntity for people to want to know someone better.
Just my opinion.
- Susan
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