RE: Relative Strangers

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Relative Strangers

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Relative Strangers

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/27/2006 7:32:53 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zsuzsanna

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I have been used by an absolute stranger, but did not bottom to him. I was ordered by my Master to avail myself to him. He and my Master worked out the details, and my Master was in the room the entire time, and orchestrated it. My Master will not allow me to be topped by anyone but himself. From an onlooker's perspective, it would have looked as though I were submitting to this stranger, but I was submitting to my Master. It was quite fulfilling as a result, as my Master was quite proud of my obedience and compliance. It will happen again when my Master wishes it to.

I completely understand that. You please the stranger because it pleases your Master. And if your Master is pleased, all is right with the world.

Ok now this would be different. If I had a Master and my Master knew the 'stranger' and knew I wasnt gonna get cooties from the person etc, then I would do it too.

My Master had never met the man before. There was no fluid exchange.

(in reply to marieToo)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/27/2006 7:47:42 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlyStone

For the submissives:

Have you ever been topped/dominated by a relative stranger? That is someone that you have just met, perhaps here or at at club or an event, and discussed a scene with beforehand and nothing more. No relationship outside of the scene itself. No knowledge of their life outside of the bdsm context.I suppose the best analogy would be meeting someone in a bar and going home to fuck but in this case there is a bdsm scene with informed consent.

If the answer is yes how did you feel afterward? Was it more exciting, as exciting, less exciting or totally sucked compared to being with someone you have spent time with and got to know outside of the bdsm and why. Did you feel guilty? and if so was it because you enjoyed it or because you regretted it?

And for the tops:

The same questions, but from your perspective.

Tons of times and no i didnt feel guilty. Here are a few of the times.

When i was 18 and new to a BDSM club they seemed to love to flog me. Something about the way my back responded. Most of the time it went well. Once it went bad and i ended up in a semi - standing - fetal position against the wall trying to get out of the way of w/e was being used. Luckily, there were other people at the club, who knew me and ended up calling the guy off for me. Didnt feel guilty any of those times, it was all pretty impersonal for me.

Went with a friend to the club in Tampa and bottomed to a Dom whose name i didnt even know. It was a whirlwind that started with just showing me simple rope bondage. It was also fabulous and amazingly by the end of it i felt so connected to this man whose name i didnt know. No i didnt/dont really feel guilty. Did finally get his name - but then i'm an owned girl so things just dropped.

Went back to the same club when it was opened again. Met a Dom and his sub the previous time (so i knew his name) and i had watched him abit and my Dom consented to me scening with him. It was abit rougher then i expected and became more of a "what can you take" that ended when my Dom stepped in and called it to a close.

Do i regret? Newp, nada. I took something from each experience that is valuable to me and how i can regret anything that i take value from? No matter if i was in the wrong, the scene could of been better - or whatever. We all make mistakes, its what we learn from them that counts

< Message edited by Devilslilsister -- 12/27/2006 7:52:38 PM >

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to SlyStone)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/27/2006 9:53:25 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zsuzsanna

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I have been used by an absolute stranger, but did not bottom to him. I was ordered by my Master to avail myself to him. He and my Master worked out the details, and my Master was in the room the entire time, and orchestrated it. My Master will not allow me to be topped by anyone but himself. From an onlooker's perspective, it would have looked as though I were submitting to this stranger, but I was submitting to my Master. It was quite fulfilling as a result, as my Master was quite proud of my obedience and compliance. It will happen again when my Master wishes it to.

I completely understand that. You please the stranger because it pleases your Master. And if your Master is pleased, all is right with the world.

Ok now this would be different. If I had a Master and my Master knew the 'stranger' and knew I wasnt gonna get cooties from the person etc, then I would do it too.

My Master had never met the man before. There was no fluid exchange.

Some of you girls make me feel like Mary Poppins!

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/27/2006 10:00:42 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
Some of you girls make me feel like Mary Poppins!

LOL nah...Mary Poppins wasn't that hot.

(in reply to marieToo)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/27/2006 10:37:50 PM

NaiveTempest

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlyStone

For the submissives:

Have you ever been topped/dominated by a relative stranger?

All the time..its called customer service

LMAO! Having worked customer service or customer service related jobs since leaving home, I DEFINATELY have to agree!

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/27/2006 10:43:26 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
Some of you girls make me feel like Mary Poppins!

LOL nah...Mary Poppins wasn't that hot.

aw, you're sweet, Owned. :)

But the thing is Mary Poppins was a nice gal.

Apparently it turns out that I seem to have an attitude problem, cuz most guys tell me by the second day or so that Im never going to amount to anything more than a pain in their ass. I mean...what the fuck?

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/27/2006 10:50:15 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Keep talking about Mary Poppins and I'm gonna break out into Chim Chimanee in a second.

Eh...they don't know what they're talking about...c'mon over to California....heh. Before I met my Master I was deemed a loser who could never be pleasing to anyone. Don't let the turkeys get you down, and I do mean turkeys. Talk to me on the flip side if you want, so we don't overly hijack this thread, lol.

(in reply to marieToo)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 2:03:03 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlyStone
Have you ever been topped/dominated by a relative stranger?

If the answer is yes how did you feel afterward? Was it more exciting, as exciting, less exciting or totally sucked compared to being with someone you have spent time with and got to know outside of the bdsm and why. Did you feel guilty? and if so was it because you enjoyed it or because you regretted it?

I've coined this as a "meet and beat". I've done plenty of them...although you have to know that, for me, these kinds of scenes are about the SM, not about sex or service or spirituality. It was less exciting/intense thatn with someone I was more open with. No, I did not feel guilty...I was doing what I wanted with consent. But then, I don't feel guilty about one-night stands or sex on the first date either, if that's what I want.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to SlyStone)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 4:05:45 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

i've never been in a situation like that, i have never been to a public dungeon when there was open play and would be scared to death that i wouldn't have a clue what to do. i know myself well enough that i would be spending the time worrying about being good enough, how i might look to onlookers, which would kill the mood, i'm sure. i would much rather be in a situation where i know i am wanted and desired for me, not because i'm the last body available.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to SlyStone)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 4:09:20 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

Yes I have

It was exciting

Not recommended for most

Really not recommended for "safe" play at all

Ross

(in reply to SlyStone)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 4:31:55 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

But what happens afterwards? Can a meet-and-beat relationship morph into something more lasting?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I've coined this as a "meet and beat". I've done plenty of them...although you have to know that, for me, these kinds of scenes are about the SM, not about sex or service or spirituality. It was less exciting/intense thatn with someone I was more open with.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 4:37:03 AM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I have had a few occasions for this to occur. It has went well, and not so well. One of them turned into my first Dom and was a mentor to me in many ways. The others, they more taught me what I knew I didn't want.

I don't have guilt about it at all. It was a good way for me to try some things out, see what I did and didn't want, and also see different Doms in "action".

All of this put it so that when I did meet my Master, I knew from the past and the way he made me feel, that he was the right one for me.

I think the best advice about I have for anyone is...go ahead and play, but play very, very safe.

Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to SlyStone)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 6:47:22 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Hello SlyStone,
Yes often in my first year of submission I played with people I knew basically nothing about at the Crucible (my local dungeon) often.
My Dom at the time would find Dom's that would ask him if they could play with me.
I would meet them as my Sir introduced them to me and told me I was going to play with them.
Often he had already discussed his limits for me with them and I did not negotiate at all except my Sir would ask me to remind them of my safeword before he handed me over.
I also made friends on my own and a few times I'd play in the dungeon with someone I'd seen playing with someone else.

In my first year we looked at it like my physical training period.
I would play with many Doms (and even played with one Domme and I also once topped a male sub) to find what I liked as an individual person in kink play instead of what I like that my Dom did.
What I found was though it's exciting to play with someone who's a mystery person I find I kept my radar running during the scene and didn't exactly relax like I would with a familiar friend or my Sir.

It was interesting to feel the different variations on the energy each one brought to the table.

I learned each person has a completely different approach, thus making me react and respond in different ways with each one.

It was like being more people than just myself, and myself at the same time if you can understand that train of logic.

I was indeed quite the party play sub from 2/05-2/06 and value each and every person that had something to do with my experiences.
Once the training year was over it was actually a relief to only be playing with people I knew and respected.

I limited myself since then to only those who my Sir still wanted me to play with till 7/06 when we split.

I have a new Dom I submit to since November this year & even tough we're not ready for a collar I choose to be monogamous to him in intercourse and other than that I have very limited contact with friends that join my Sir and I in play at the club.
Over all right now I prefer not to play with any one else.

Technically my Dom and I have an open relationship and I could choose to play with others with his permission.
Maybe one day the desire to play with others will come back, but it's just not something in my heart or desires for now.

I do think I'll miss playing with two of my very good long term Dom friends, but at this time for me, my Sir is all I want.

I think the emotional connection I have to Him makes playing with Sir Rob a much deeper more meaningful experience for me.
It's like the difference between a turkey breast meat sandwich, and a turkey lunch meat sandwich.
One just fills the hunger and the other satisfies me with a much more quality cut.
suzanne

(in reply to SlyStone)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 7:32:21 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

Couldn't do it. Tried a few times on the giving end but never could get anything out of the experience. I felt abusive regardless of how willing and how 'into it' my partner was. I didn't feel comfortable in what I was doing because I didn't know the person well enough to read their body reaction. I don't, and haven't for years played with safe words, so that ability was critical. I'd rather spend time, talk, discuss, and develop some level of intimacy versus shacking hands and leading a person over to a spanking bench or cross.

Everyone's reason for participating in a session is different. What they feel during a scene is also personal. I've witnessed many come into a club and make an announcement that they've had a hectic week at the office and needed their ass paddled and didn't care who did it or how it was done. They used the session as "therapy", or a way to purge themselves of unwanted thoughts or feelings they were experiencing and did so through the use of pain. I know of Dominants who accomplish the same thing through inflicting pain.

My 'wiring' doesn't work that way. I view a session as the ultimate intimate act between two people. Sex requires functionality. A BDSM scene requires a knowledge of a person, and responsibility for a person that, IMO, goes beyond the sex act. I've missed out on many opportunities over the years because of this attitude, but if anything I've gotten more adamant about the need to know the person.

I'm sure people will feel I have it all turned around, but I'm much more likely to engage in casual sex with 'strangers' than I would have 'casual session'.

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Profile

Post #: 54

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 7:39:54 AM

Serenityy

Posts: 97
Status: offline

Hello SlyStone

No other man, or woman, outside of my late Master, Father and mother have ever taken a belt, a whip, a paddle to me. However, in the past, I had been called upon to serve another other than my late Master ( somehow though, I do not think that your question was in this context )

Outside of direct punishment though, I have been disciplined by others outside of the ones that I have mentioned. Discipline is much different though.

_____________________________

harley

(in reply to SlyStone)

Profile

Post #: 55

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 9:31:46 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Yup. All thetime. I feel great after, refreshed even, unless I hit subdrop and have to gothrough it alone. which is rare I drop hard.

I would say it's more exciting, sometimes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlyStone

For the submissives:

Have you ever been topped/dominated by a relative stranger? That is someone that you have just met, perhaps here or at at club or an event, and discussed a scene with beforehand and nothing more.

If the answer is yes how did you feel afterward?

(in reply to SlyStone)

Profile

Post #: 56

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 12:44:52 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

But what happens afterwards? Can a meet-and-beat relationship morph into something more lasting?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I've coined this as a "meet and beat". I've done plenty of them...although you have to know that, for me, these kinds of scenes are about the SM, not about sex or service or spirituality. It was less exciting/intense thatn with someone I was more open with.

Well, of course it can. In fact, is has. slave jason was meant to be a "meet and beat". I'll have a place for him, when he's ready, in my household.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Profile

Post #: 57

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 3:43:06 PM

SlyStone

Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

quote:

It was mutual in the beginning, but then I did get curious. I never asked though. To me, knowing would have ruined the mystic somehow. I still talk to him and I still never ask

My experience was very similar and like you we never exchanged last names although I did go to her house so I did in fact know her last name but never mentioned that. It also lasted about 6 months. We would meet about once a week and I never knew what she did for a living, if she was ever married, if she had children, or how she viewed the world outside the walls of her house and she never asked me a single question outside of our bdsm relationship. She never called me sir or master, said she had done that for one man a long time ago and would never do it again for another. I never asked her to explain because I knew she never would.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Profile

Post #: 58

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 3:48:14 PM

SlyStone

Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

quote:

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up for me too. I crave that feeling again. It's my driving force.

I am guessing, so correct me if I am wrong, that you have tried to recreate this scene with someone you know and it didn't work.

Do you think it's similar to the rape fantasy some people have? Isn't that fantasy about being using and being used by a stranger? Because I just don't see how it, the scene that is, can work because the most important turn on, I mean that get wet or get hard at the thought turn on, is missing. Once you know someone they are not a stranger and you can't erase that and you can't pretend or at least I can't.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Profile

Post #: 59

RE: Relative Strangers - 12/28/2006 3:50:57 PM

SlyStone

Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

quote:

I've coined this as a "meet and beat"

I get that, although I think the initial turn on for me not the meeting or the beating but rather the complete newness, the total lack of prior knowledge and the loss of self in the moment.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)