RE: How to not approach a Domina!

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RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 2/23/2005 12:42:26 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

Having never approached a domina, you'd think I would be an expert on this topic.

Sadly, I have nothing to add.

*wink*

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to WulfMan)

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Post #: 21

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 2/23/2005 1:28:40 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hickory

ShiftedJewel:

Why'd you block him? You could have left him in a state of "shear briss."

That's so very bad.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to Hickory)

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Post #: 22

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 2/24/2005 6:37:40 AM

MadameBette

Posts: 62
Joined: 9/8/2004
From: Long Island, NY
Status: offline

I got one of 'those' messages fresh from reading this thread the other day; the poor guy didn't know what hit him.
He wrote something like, "Wouldn't U love to have me naked and chained at your feet."
I told him that was not the way to approach a Domme. He wrote back that he was a newbie and I shouldn't be rude to him!
So I recommended he check out the boards, and also offered some suggestions on how to present himself a little better.
The upshot is that he seems to be a genuinely nice guy, teachable, even!

Okay, made my 'convert' for the day...! Only 999,999,999 more to go.
(Like I have the time... or the inclination...)

~ Bette

"If I've confused you, then my work here is done."

(in reply to Jasmyn)

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Post #: 23

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 2/24/2005 6:56:05 AM

Hickory

Posts: 49
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

Couldn't resist...

quote:

ORIGINAL: GddssBella

...
Twisted bitch that I am? I would've told him something like: "Once I cut it off, I'm going to sell it on ebay to the highest bidder." Sadly, in this sick culture, I would've found multiple buyers, lol.
...

You CAN find them on ebay - in the "members only" section.

There once was a girl of high class
Whose boyfriend had balls made of brass
He behaved indiscreetly
She removed them completely
Leaving only a scab on his ass.

Hickory

_____________________________

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementia.
There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.
-Aristotle

(in reply to GddssBella)

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Post #: 24

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 2/24/2005 10:33:17 PM

GddssBella

Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline

{ROFLMAO!!}

The truly disturbing factor?!? You knew exactly where to search, lol. ~Love~ the limerick. Btw.... Hello neighbor.

TTFN

Bella

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Post #: 25

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 2/25/2005 1:19:16 PM

HouseofBear

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

Some of my biggest peeves on the way not to be approached is to have the profile say single, then find the sub/slave is married, or to be looking at a female's profile that has no picture, only to find out it is a cd or tg (which I happen to enjoy, however, I dislike deception and they have struck out with me immediately). Writing me and using all the acronyms found on line nowadays or the cutesy smileys will not cut it either. Another thing I dislike are the crotch shots. I much prefer to see a facial profile where I can see their eyes and expression. If they do not want to post a picture that identifies the, then I would prefer to see something a little more tasteful and imaginative (ie a bondage scene they have been in).

Lady Ursa

(in reply to iwillserveu)

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Post #: 26

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 2/25/2005 10:50:06 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

Ah, but you're assuming that they actually READ the boards!

Nuf said!

One of My favorites...
"your pic is hot! I am available for you to use three times a month. Get back to me at XXX (messesnger ID).
Duh! Hello!
I even state in My journal for clarification purposs, "DO NOT SEND ME TELEPHONE NUMBERS OR MESSENGER ID's."
Guess they can't read which means I am not interested.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to iwillserveu)

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Post #: 27

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 2/26/2005 7:33:37 AM

GddssBella

Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline

*yawns & rubs eyes - waves gm to all*

This is assuming of course that they took the time to read the profile. Which they so rarely do. Frankly most males, dom or sub, just see a cute pic & think you're going to tumble to them no matter what. Like their dubious charms are so overwhelmingly irresistible that you'd be panting for the chance to deal with them. {gag}

Ok. I'll chat you folks later. My eyes are crossing & the brain is in a mush state. (Got Spoon?) Didn't sleep well. Keep the thread warm...

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others....

Bella

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

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Post #: 28

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 2/27/2005 3:37:49 PM

MistressJadeMTL

Posts: 168
Joined: 12/18/2004
From: Montreal, Canada
Status: offline

I am lucky enough that one of my female submissives is so "in tune" with My needs and standards for email contact that when the email load gets overwhelming, or I receive email from yet another one of the "Clueless Clan" -- she deals with it for Me.

In part, I have found that if they receive an answer from my sub, but not directly from Me, they find they are not being "validated" and either:
1) reply in a more appropriate submissive tone
2) apologize profusely and respectfully rephrase their question/request
3) leave and don't bother Me again

I have also found that putting up a very detailed profile describing My specific needs and standards, as well as that I am looking solely for "service submissives" (no slaves) at this time has helped to cut down on the crackpots and players. I have also clearly stated My dislike for any chat-style abbreviations, and that they must use full sentences, proper grammar and spelling or risk having their application deleted. Think of it as a form of "survival of the fittest"... If they can't be bothered to follow simple written instructions for a sub application, then how can they ever expect to properly serve a Domme?

I have still however received requests such as:

- looking for a 24/7 slave position when I specifically state that I am NOT looking for that
- being approached by an out-of-province slave who has looking for a "summer position" as a slave (Does he think I run a summer camp for slaves??)
- being approached by male subs as far away as Italy, Germany and Australia when it clearly states that I only want local Montreal-area submissives
- being approached by Doms masquerading as a sub (Do they think we can't read their profiles?)
- being asked whether I was into Female Supremacy when My profile clearly states that I do

My sub does have a relatively polite generic reply that she sends out to the "more naive but still lacking in etiquette" subs - with links to helpful forum posts and weblinks on "How to Approach a Domme" and "Making a Good First Impression". There is always the hope that it might actually sink into one of them... <sigh>

_____________________________

~ Mistress Jade Dragon

HeadMistress - FemDomme Society of Canada: http://FemDommeSociety.ca
Montreal BDSM/Fetish Calendar of events: http://ClubFetish.ca/calendar
Blog - Adventures of a HeadMistress - http://femdommesociety.ca/HeadMistress_Jade

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Post #: 29

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/18/2005 1:26:16 AM

MissCrystalBlade

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline

How about:

1) I can make you submit!

2) Do you like my c**k pic?

3) I know you aren't looking for a male sub and respect that but ...(insert why he is so different than others)

Those are the most outrageous ones I have gotten lately.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

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Post #: 30

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/19/2005 1:56:36 AM

ManOwner

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

So many guys send cock pictures, apparently not realizing that it's the part of their body I'm least interested in. When I get that from a guy, it signals to me that he is trying to get laid. Any sort of intro that is not extremely deferential, polite, and respectful leaves a bad impression with me. I feel that submissiveness is something that should show through naturally if it's there. The worst inquiry I ever got came from a guy that told me, "the only way I'd ever serve a female is sexually." So not only is the guy a misogynist, but he's too stupid to even try to hide that fact.

Here is what I would suggest. First keep in mind that your would-be Domme is likely to take offense if you speak to her as an equal. Write the note as if it's a cover letter for your resume. Suck up, but don't be cheesy. Use correct grammar and complete sentences. Describe yourself, at the very least giving your age, location, and marital status. Talk about how you would like to worship and please her, but above all express interest in her as an individual. You don't want her to think that you see her as just a random Domme. If you don't have enough information about her to get a picture of her personality, ask questions. In fact, you should always ask a Domme about herself in an opening letter. You had better not make it sound like you're asking for details to get off on. Just follow up on some of the things in her profile. At least she'll know you bothered to read it.

< Message edited by ManOwner -- 4/19/2005 1:41:50 PM >

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Post #: 31

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/19/2005 3:18:23 AM

SteeLnPet

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/23/2005
Status: offline

I recently had a guy who didn't read my profile, didn't listen to what was being said, and was apparently quite convinced that I was a slave, to my sub, since that is what he wanted to hear
approximate content of the PM...
after basic hellos
"so, what kind of Dom couple are you?"
"I am straight and Dom, my pet is a sub/switch"
"so what kind of mistress is she, does she train alot of slaves?"
"she has not trained any, and I have never seen her dominant she is submissive to me"
"oh, so are you her slave?"
at this point I gave up on attempting to talk to him.

(in reply to ManOwner)

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Post #: 32

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/19/2005 6:00:13 AM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

My all time worst email said

Let me serve your Dammit!

_____________________________

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Post #: 33

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/19/2005 6:55:40 AM

Slaveboiz

Posts: 38
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline

Greetings A/all

i am a bit new to collarme but i found this topic interesting. i am always amazed about peoples approach to Dommes.. It usually consists of them telling her what their fantesies are and what they want to do... whatever happened to good manners. A proper intro, some kinda converstation or request to chat at the dommes convience. What i have found works is within the context of not assuming the Domme would even be interested, my first idea after a proper and respectful intro would be to let them know what i have to offer Them in the way of skill sets.

Being a R/t slave with some experience i found that many think it is more about the wants of the sub/slave rather then what they can do for the Domme.. seems to me we have lost the fine art of respect, and no wonder alot of Dommes get fustrated and disillusioned in looking for a suitable match.

Best regards
slave z

(in reply to iwillserveu)

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Post #: 34

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/19/2005 7:27:21 AM

Spike1777

Posts: 85
Joined: 3/19/2005
From: Hollywod, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden

My all time worst email said

Let me serve your Dammit!

i like that one... short, sweet, and direct to the point............

spike

_____________________________

You talk of duties where there should be only a question of pleasure....Venus in Furs, by L. Masoch.......
A Slave, someone who lives in voluntary servitude consents once and then is bound to obey.

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Post #: 35

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/19/2005 10:43:27 AM

kinkyslaveboysub

Posts: 8
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

It's because people typically don't read what is in front of their eyes. They look at a pic and make their assumptions thinking they know what you need or want by what they can give to you. It's the typical standard dumb troll.

(in reply to GddssBella)

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Post #: 36

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/22/2005 8:16:33 AM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

My best one was actually a very well written, thought out email, grammatically correct (wow!!) , and written just for me, (or so I thought)... unfortunately, the poor boy, at the bottom, said something to the effect...... I hope to hear from you soon,,,,Mistress such n such. only one thing wrong,,,it wasn't my handle, lol!! So, apparently he had found a really good letter and just tweaked it on different profiles,,shame he forgot to change the name on mine...

Of course, I emailed the other Domme to let her know also, which she appreciated!!!!!!! Guess he struck out twice, and actually had a well written introduction,,,,LMAO

(in reply to kinkyslaveboysub)

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Post #: 37

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/22/2005 8:19:36 AM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hickory

Couldn't resist...

quote:

ORIGINAL: GddssBella

...
Twisted bitch that I am? I would've told him something like: "Once I cut it off, I'm going to sell it on ebay to the highest bidder." Sadly, in this sick culture, I would've found multiple buyers, lol.
...

You CAN find them on ebay - in the "members only" section.

There once was a girl of high class
Whose boyfriend had balls made of brass
He behaved indiscreetly
She removed them completely
Leaving only a scab on his ass.

Hickory

RFLMAO,,,,think it would be with the jackets with the same name, "members only"?

(in reply to Hickory)

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Post #: 38

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/22/2005 12:34:46 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: GddssBella

As to the topic: The worst approach I've gotten is from so-called "doms" looking to see if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Like I give a fig about their experimentations. Without fail, their tone is that I should be honored that they deigned to choose me as their guinea domme to test hop their fantasy. Puhleeaasseeee. {eye roll}

Bella

yeah, this one always gets us too ... but I have to say that even worse are the messages from doms claiming that "Dommes make the best submissives" and asking if we will serve ... *rolls eyes* seriously, how stupid do they think we are?

I've always found, that the quickest way to get to them is respond that Doms make the best submissives, and would they like to try the other end of the flogger??????

(in reply to SweetDommes)

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Post #: 39

RE: How to not approach a Domina! - 4/22/2005 12:39:33 PM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I've always found, that the quickest way to get to them is respond that Doms make the best submissives, and would they like to try the other end of the flogger??????

I have used that and it backfired. He actually said yes and wanted to try it