TPEOwner
Posts: 73
Joined: 9/19/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: patina
I would like to apologize to all on the forum. I have a bad temper and add to it my roller coaster mood swings, caused by Bi Polar. I can "lose my temper and flame very quickly and the next day regret it. Normally I control it but my meds are messed up and I can't get to the Dr. for another month.
The one incident you mentioned was a Dom who wanted to met me said he believed in the old school rules of etiquite and I was to come prepared to adhere to them. Some of the things he said just gave me pause the longer I thought of thm. I was to pay to fly to Chicago, I was to stay w/ him for a week I would service him as he directed, I was to be nude the entire time, I could be traded at will, all my money went to him, I just did not like the sound of these before a collar was placed so told him I was not what he was looking for.
The first question I had posted seveal months ago probably under heading of How Long Do You wait? My reasons for asking were more to confirm my belief's then to actually need to be told what to do, or to be told how silly acting I am, as you did not have the whole story.
But I just wanted to say i was wrong for flaming the majority of you at random as I did. I had had a terrible day dealing with really stupid self centered wanna be Doms. My family, and my sons cat. Please accept my apology.
Patina
Hi again Patina. We all have bad days. As for the expereince you relate, it's not a matter of how long you should wait. There's another thread running on "red flags", and one of those is in my opinion, anyone claiming to be "old guard". First, old guard is a myth. It's bad history and internet bullshit piled high and deep. When someone tells you they are old guard, or believes in old guard ways, what they are telling you that they have no confidence in who they are, and so claim kinship to the one true way. In general, it also means that what they do is so fucked up, that the only way they can justify such assinine and/or dangerous behavior is by claiming it's ok because it's the true bdsm way. So what you really need to ask yourself when you meet someone, is not when, but if and how. If what they want from you seems unreasonable, walk away. If what you are seeking is a relationship, and they piut all their emphysis on immediate physical gratification, walk away. If they seem to think the process of building trust and respect is unimportant, that's because to them trust and respect are unimportant. Walk away.
When you do meet someone who doesn't trip your red flag alarms, that doesn't mean they are safe or compatible. Some of the idiots have learned how to talk the talk. My expereince tells me that very little that you learn on line means anything, and that the first real life meeting means everything. I use the internet and phone to make sure that none of my red flags are tripped, and that my basic "must haves" are apparently there. I say apparently because the vast majority of people on the net lie about such things. I usually give this process afew days with frequent e-mails, IMs and a couple of calls. By then I know whether I want to meet someone or not, and prefer to do so right away. If at that point, I start to get hemming and hawing about getting to know you better and safety, I figure I've probably got a player and I walk away.
And that brings things to safety. The two safest ways to meet in my opinion are at a munch or a mall food court. A food court has advantages because it's very public, parking lots are huge and the malls have multiple exits, so the chance of being followed back to your car without you being aware of it is small. A munch has advantages because if someone is meeting you with bad intentions, they aren't going to want their face seen by others in the bdsm community and will probably object to meeting like that. if someone refuses to cooporate with what you feel is a safe meeting place, walk away. I can't speak for everyone, but 95% of the time, I can tell in 30 mins or less over dinner or a drink whether the person I'm talking to was honest about what they told me, and is someone I want to see again. The other 5% are the ones who not only lie well on line, but in person as well, and I've been badly burned more than once for misplacing my trust, I have no solutions for that one. Life has risks, and you can't live unless you accept them. I hope this is helpful to you and wish you luck in your search.
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RE: Too Picky???? - 
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