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Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 10:09:29 AM   
ShadowMster


Posts: 94
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Anwer me this..  If one's slave is a pain slut, and as master you provide such to your slave, are you really a sadist?

Would not a sadist simply tell their slave NO leaving them unfullfilled?  I declare therefore that just because my painslut enjoys pain, that I'm not a sadist even if I enjoy giving it to her unless I am getting off on the pain it's self and not simply the pleasure I know I'm giving my slave.

I mean, we've all head the joke about the conversation between a saidist and a pain slut.   She said "Beat me" and he laughed and said "No." 

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 10:23:04 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think it depends on how you use the term sadist.

Clincial sadist want to harm others or hurt others without any concern for the other -- the other is often a non-person in this clincial sadist's mind.

To me, a dominant sadist is a person who likes to get reactions from causing pain to other person but will not do so against their will -- their pleasure is secondary and in fact may not be that important but their consent is. Why consent then? We consent to things all the time that don't cause us direct pleasure.

Also to me, a service sadist is a person who likes to give a masochist the pleasure they like via pain.

I would consider the bottom two on my list to be part of BDSM but not the first category because I consider consent to be of utmost importance. I also think one can be both or either of the bottom two but I think a person who is a clincial sadist is probably not capable of enough empathy to be one of the other two. (hope that made sense)

So, playfully speaking, ShadowMster, I'd say a dominant sadist might do as you suggest especially if she is feeling like the bottom is trying to manipulate activities by acting up. I think if it happened all the time the relationship wouldn't last very long.

yes, it is a funny joke

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 10:27:01 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster

I mean, we've all head the joke about the conversation between a saidist and a pain slut.   She said "Beat me" and he laughed and said "No." 


i actually have not heard this joke before! lol! it is very amusing!

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 10:39:38 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Reposted regarding sadism:
Generally- sadists enjoy pain in others.

Causing it?  Usually.  But I know plenty of sadists who can enjoy simply watching anothers pain and feeding off of it just as well.

Type of pain?  I know plenty of sadists who still get a thrill at someones pain whether it's consensual or not. Unethical sadists are very dangerous people.  However, in the scene, most sadists are ethical and so, even if they ENJOY pain produced non consensually, they will not actually DO that.

As well, what a lot of people call sadists, I call fluffy sadists.  They don't want to ACTUALLY cause the other person pain- they want the other person to enjoy it, to fly from it, to have a pleasureable experience.  For me a sadist is someone who wants the other person to be in PAIN- NOT enjoying it directly at all.

And of course, the mental or physical.  Sadism generally refers to physical pain as mental and emotional pain gets so complicated with so many different causes and gray lines (Is it ok to make your slave cry by talking about her dead grandmother?) that it makes it a tricky topic overall.  But certainly, some enjoy both.

As always, just goes to show that you can't tell much beyond the basics of a person with just a label.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_701599/mpage_1/key_sadist/tm.htm#701905
sadism and masochism

http://www.collarchat.com/m_525044/mpage_1/key_fluffy%252Csadist/tm.htm#525222
sadist

http://www.collarchat.com/m_583606/mpage_1/key_masochists/tm.htm#583687
Extreme sensation play, what's hot about that for you?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_204732/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#204762
why experience pain and what motivates a sub to enjoy it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_284469/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#284905
masochistic vs non masochistic

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428681/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#428697
masochism

http://www.collarchat.com/m_514097/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#514099
is it the pain or the act of submission?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_99877/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#99877
ds vs s&m

http://www.collarchat.com/m_319334/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#319334
question on masochism #1

http://www.collarchat.com/m_319343/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#319343
question on masochism #2

http://www.collarchat.com/m_475218/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#475218
masochism and submission, is there a conflict?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_344784/mpage_1/key_masochist/tm.htm#344784
good pain/bad pain...blurred lines?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_221596/mpage_1/key_masochist/tm.htm#221596
sensation slut


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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 10:45:14 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		My opinion is if you get no pleasure from inflicting the pain, but rather enjoy giving her what she needs maybe you're more of a Service Dom.
I know that's fighting words to some, but it's what I think.
suzanne

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 11:16:03 AM   
letmecollaryou


Posts: 28
Joined: 11/3/2006
Status: offline 		well said suzane....i wear my subs glasses because she wants me to see things her way.

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 12:53:16 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		He's a sadist. I'm a masochist. He gets to have a lovely time hurting me. I get to have a lovely time feeling the pain. He takes me further than I think I can go at times and satisfies his desire for physical sadism, but that's not his sole or even primary focus.

It's the emotional sadism he revels in. And he's really really good at it.

So, is he a sadist just because or in spite of me being a masochist? Absolutely. He was before he met me, it's no different now...except that I get to be the canvas - both physically and mentally that he practices his craft on.

I do so love art.

juliet

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 3:42:48 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster

Anwer me this..  If one's slave is a pain slut, and as master you provide such to your slave, are you really a sadist?



I am who I am... Who I am is not dependent on someone else.

I enjoy the causing of pain....  I take pleasure in causing pain......  What someone else does with the pain I cause... doesn't affect my enjoyment of causing the pain in the first place.


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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 3:46:49 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster

Anwer me this.. 


Why, upon reading these words, do I immediately have an image of you posing this question from under a bridge?




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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 4:24:48 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster

Anwer me this.. 


Why, upon reading these words, do I immediately have an image of you posing this question from under a bridge?





I can think of a couple of possible reasons.

I hope the original poster pays attention to KOM's response.

Questions like this seem to be based on a conception of a human being as a two-dimensional carboard cut-out. Can't be happy if you're sad. Can't be good if you're bad. Can't be a son if you're a dad.

People aren't atoms or molecules. People are worlds.

Fuck the "Am I this, are you that?" questions. Go find a world to explore.



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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 4:40:00 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear ShadowMster, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Love the joke.  That is what I do with whiney, do me masochists.
 
To deny a want, that can be considered "sadistic."  So, joke a side, it is a form of sadism; just as it is for somebody to be subjected to my awful jokes.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 4:51:00 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		If she is happy and you are happy, that is pretty good, isn't it? Maybe you are just intellectually curious but other people are going to have such varied opinions. So - maybe it doesn't matter what they think. At all, really. Do what you want.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/29/2006 4:59:04 PM >

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And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 8:30:18 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am who I am... Who I am is not dependent on someone else.

I enjoy the causing of pain....  I take pleasure in causing pain......  What someone else does with the pain I cause... doesn't affect my enjoyment of causing the pain in the first place.



Yesssssssssssssssss    and if I feel he is topping from the bottom,  I go farther than he thought I would and remind him that he takes his chances.

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/29/2006 11:15:45 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster

Anwer me this..  If one's slave is a pain slut, and as master you provide such to your slave, are you really a sadist?

Would not a sadist simply tell their slave NO leaving them unfullfilled?  I declare therefore that just because my painslut enjoys pain, that I'm not a sadist even if I enjoy giving it to her unless I am getting off on the pain it's self and not simply the pleasure I know I'm giving my slave.

I mean, we've all head the joke about the conversation between a saidist and a pain slut.   She said "Beat me" and he laughed and said "No." 




There's a school of thought that say that the match to a sadist is NOT a masochist. :-)

But, the question really is: does it matter? If the two of you are happy, call yourselves whatever you like.

Master Fire


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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/30/2006 12:00:30 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster

Anwer me this..  If one's slave is a pain slut, and as master you provide such to your slave, are you really a sadist?



I am who I am... Who I am is not dependent on someone else.

I enjoy the causing of pain....  I take pleasure in causing pain......  What someone else does with the pain I cause... doesn't affect my enjoyment of causing the pain in the first place.



I have a sincere question KOM.  In a world where you had all the power and authority, with no legal boundaries, do you think that you would enjoy random acts of sadism against an unsuspecting, non consenting person? Would you enjoy carrying a bat and knee-capping a fellow pedestrian just to hear the person scream? 

Edited to add:  or am I guilty of concrete thinking here?

< Message edited by catize -- 12/30/2006 12:04:04 AM >

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/30/2006 12:19:51 AM   
synrgy33


Posts: 61
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		My Sir is a Sadist (SadistDave go figure). When I met Him, I wasnt much of a painslut.. okay I admit it I was a wimp, I'm still a wimp hahaha. I enjoy pain though because it gives me so many different levels of rushes. He takes me to different levels each time we play. Does he let loose of His Sadistc streak with me on a regular basis? No. I don't think I have ever seen Him truly be a full sadist. Why? Because He loves me. He has an emotional attatchment to me, and so He can't bring out His nasty Ass self. I admire that and respect Him for it. Though I once said to him "DAMNIT YOU BASTARD DON'T love me so much", then of course after I said that... I pleaded for Him to stop a short time later, LMAO. Actually, I sometimes think I hold back myself the last few times we've played I asked him before we  played not to stop, to push me and he did and I loved it so much!

Syn~

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/30/2006 12:41:50 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Safe to say that the trouble lies within the perception of the word 'Sadist.'  Fifty years ago, the word 'homosexual' was used synonomously with 'retarded' and 'queer' was still another word for 'strange.'  Society may be slowly changing it's opinions towards sexuality as a whole, but language usually seems to lag another twenty years behind society. 

We have psychologists running experiments on what part of the brain responds to sex, but we don't have linguists discussing new words or phrases to apply to the difference between a sociopathic sadist, and a BDSM consensual sadist.  Hell, I'm a BDSM style sadist, and I haven't found a term I like to use with it. 

I just trust that when I'm talking about being a sadist, that my audience is familiar enough with the lifestyle to understand I'm not talking about doing evil things with cooked pasta and my non-consenting neighbor.

Stephan




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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/30/2006 12:50:46 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

... I'm not talking about doing evil things with cooked pasta and my non-consenting neighbor.

Stephan




 
Cooked pasta and a non-consenting neighbor? wow...
 
Pass the marinara sauce please.
 
juliet

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/30/2006 1:38:41 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster

Anwer me this..  If one's slave is a pain slut, and as master you provide such to your slave, are you really a sadist?

If you get your own personal enjoyment and satisfaction through administering that pain, I'd say "yes"!  If you're just doing it to please her or fulfill your perceived obligations as Master, maybe not....  Doesn't mean you're not a dominant, though.

quote:

Would not a sadist simply tell their slave NO leaving them unfullfilled? 

Sadists are still people rather than just a single dimensioned entity.  You can drive yourself nuts with supposed contradictory logic and mind games like this.  Today I administer the pain she craves, next time I *might* say 'no'....  It all depends on local variables such as my mood, previous plans, her attitude (if any), my perception of any attitude and anything else I can't think of right now....  Personally, I get more enjoyment out of actually using a flogger rather than being a smart-arse with mind games like it's some competition.
 
She likes pain and I'm generally happy to accommodate if she's been a good girl.  And a firm 'no' if she's been a brat.  Either way, I'm still a sadist....
 
Focus.

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RE: Am I a sadist if... - 12/30/2006 5:18:40 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster


I mean, we've all head the joke about the conversation between a saidist and a pain slut.   She said "Beat me" and he laughed and said "No." 


Lol, and thank you for the smile. That was my previous Master's favorite line.

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The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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