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Freak or Fetish? - 2/22/2005 6:28:59 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		What is the difference, if any, between a control freak and a person who has a control fetish?


Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

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RE: Freak or Fetish? - 2/22/2005 6:34:53 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		Sex!

Sorry, but that's the first thing to come to mind.

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RE: Freak or Fetish? - 2/22/2005 6:54:04 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Control freak is about obsession and constantly never leaving it alone. Always repeating, doing, and going for the excact same thing.

Control fetish is having your likes very well pointed out but that you are willing and more able to do other things. I have a foot fetish as well as a biting one. However, I don't do it all the time as there are so many other things to do. I don't live for my fetish, only act on it every now and then.




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RE: Freak or Fetish? - 2/22/2005 7:58:58 PM   
MidnightWriter


Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: willing2serve

What is the difference, if any, between a control freak and a person who has a control fetish?

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

Someone who has a mere control fetish becomes sexually excited in situations in which they are in control.

Someone who is a control freak tries to control everything, not necessarily just for sexual satisfaction.

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RE: Freak or Fetish? - 2/22/2005 8:22:23 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline
quote:

Calvin: ''Dad, what's a control freak?''
Dad: ''A control freak is what lazy, slipshod, CUT-CORNER workers call anyone who cares enough to do a job right!''
Calvin: ''Am I in the presence of their king? Should I kneel?''
Bill Waterson



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RE: Freak or Fetish? - 2/22/2005 8:33:03 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		So many diverse answers....Do you not think that a person can be a control freak or have a control fetish without it being sexual?

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1



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RE: Freak or Fetish? - 2/22/2005 9:23:26 PM   
MidnightWriter


Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Can a person be a control freak or have a control fetish without it being sexual?

Um... well, yeah. Sometimes, I control those I have no sexual interest in. (I am a parent, among other things.)

Sometimes, I control someone I have a sexual interest in, but the control is about something that's not sexual to either of us.

Tomorrow night, I'm going to be the Lord High Tyrant in a room with about 100 people in it - and I'll do my level best to see that they all have a good time, because I like it that way.

My former slave bought me a sweatshirt that asks "Does anal retentive have a hyphen?"

The funny thing is, I knew the answer - and she knew I did.

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Power corrupts. Absolute power ... is really pretty nifty.

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RE: Freak or Fetish? - 2/23/2005 5:30:02 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willing2serve
What is the difference, if any, between a control freak and a person who has a control fetish?
Respectfully,
Willing2serve1


Technically, a fetish is something that you NEED in order to get sexually aroused/orgasm. Most people don't have literal fetishes in the scene.

A control freak is someone who controls things from a place of insecurity. They try to control the things that they can to mitigate the lack of control (perceived or real) over other things in life.

A control "fetishist" would be someone who just gets off on manipulating and controlling their environment.

And a note: MANY subs and slaves are the worlds biggest control freaks. It can be a fabulous asset to a dom if they know how to use it.

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RE: Freak or Fetish? - 2/23/2005 7:25:58 AM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

And a note: MANY subs and slaves are the worlds biggest control freaks. It can be a fabulous asset to a dom if they know how to use it.


Very interesting statement...Would you care to expound on this?

You did verbalize the meanings of "control freaks" and "control fetishist" quite well..Thank you

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

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RE: Freak or Fetish? - 2/23/2005 7:33:39 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: willing2serve

quote:

And a note: MANY subs and slaves are the worlds biggest control freaks. It can be a fabulous asset to a dom if they know how to use it.


Very interesting statement...Would you care to expound on this?

You did verbalize the meanings of "control freaks" and "control fetishist" quite well..Thank you

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1


Hmmm expound expound...

Many subs and slaves are control freaks. Why on earth else would we want to give all that authority in our loves consciously and willingly to ONE source? We think about control and authority a LOT, we feel it's VERY IMPORTANT. We focus on it, we feel it in our lives and we try and keep it regulated as much as possible.

We LOVE discipline. Where else in relationships would you be fine if you did something 99 times out of 100 right, but got PUNISHED for that one other time? Where else would we find rules and structure, knowing there was a rubric to follow in any sort of situation? How else can we express our control over things so deeply other than in relationships BUILT on structure and rules and consequences directly from our behavior from someone else saying you did "good" or "bad"? Why else get into a relationship built on constantly striving to please someone in JUST the right way? Adapting to their every whim? Why else suffer so much when we are "bad" or disobey? Why else is it SO important to us to FEEL that control, that structure, in every part of our lives? Why else do we work SO hard to demonstrate it- to us, having control over things and making it work the way you want is one of the ultimate expressions of devotion.

We're perfectionists, the ultimate control freak.

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RE: Freak or Fetish? - 2/23/2005 7:50:45 AM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you Emerald for expounding (smile)

Seriously, your insight is appreciated. It really has given me a new perspective on submissives being control freaks.

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

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