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RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 6:46:49 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SobbingAndTears

What does it mean to be a "domme"? I'll post my observations particularly of the Chicago area after some of your comments. Thanks

I usually use the term "domme" just to save time. Especially today when these silly nail tips keep getting caught under the keys on my keyboard..LOL
If I post domme, there is usually no question that I am female and dominant.
A rose by any other name.....
Psy

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to SobbingAndTears)

Post #: 41

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 6:56:27 PM

MzTlaz

Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline

The OP is either having a good old joke messing on the boards or has the IQ of a used monkey wrench.

I suggest we all just leave him to play with his own marbles....all two of them,

(in reply to PsyVamp)

Post #: 42

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 7:58:56 PM

LancasterMaleSub

Posts: 10
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Dear BlkTallFullfig,

My wife is certainly not a slave. We have a marriage based on compromise and many of the compromises were made so I could attain her parent's permission to marry her.

We live next to, but not within, the Amish community in PA; our house and her parent's house are actually within eyesight of one another.

Our home is equipped with all modern electrical appliances but only I use them - and they are really for emergency purposes only. For instance, we do have a Maytag electric washer and dryer but my wife does all of the wash by hand. If I need to have clothes washed on an emergency basis I will use the machines. The same situation goes for all of other household appliances.

During the past year we did have a problem with my wife using these appliances during the day when I was in the office - her parents threaten to shun her so I struck a deal with her folks. We placed a circuit breaker to our home in her parent's place. When I leave for the office in the morning her folks shut off the power to our home so they know there will be no doubt that my wife is following the marital agreement we made. Every weekday at 4:45 PM her folks kick the breaker back on so our home will have electrical power when I get home from work.

This seems to have worked so far.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 43

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 8:06:15 PM

LancasterMaleSub

Posts: 10
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Dear Akasha,

It was my understanding that D/s was not about sex but was about a power exchange. Maybe I am wrong which is why I am on this site to find information.

Just because I think a dominant chick or submissive chick is hot does not mean I am going to have sex with them. It just means I think they are hot.

I am respectful of my marriage vows to my Amish wife.

Whether I decide to become a slave or a Dominant God I did not think this meant sex was implied.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 44

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 8:30:15 PM

daredevil865

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LancasterMaleSub

Dear Akasha,

It was my understanding that D/s was not about sex but was about a power exchange. Maybe I am wrong which is why I am on this site to find information.

Just because I think a dominant chick or submissive chick is hot does not mean I am going to have sex with them. It just means I think they are hot.

I am respectful of my marriage vows to my Amish wife.

Whether I decide to become a slave or a Dominant God I did not think this meant sex was implied.

you joined collarme on 12/29/2006 and in 2 days you have gone from I want to be a slave to now perhaps I want to be a Dominant God ..and it is because submissive chicks are hotter...and now you are talking about power exchange.........boy give your head a shake...please tell me you and your wife are not planning to reproduce...surely you must come from the shallow end of the gene pool

_____________________________

DareDevil

A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

If I had to explain it...you wouldn't understand

(in reply to LancasterMaleSub)

Post #: 45

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 8:45:05 PM

poplolly

Posts: 159
Joined: 10/7/2006
From: Edmonton
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LancasterMaleSub

Just because I think a dominant chick or submissive chick is hot does not mean I am going to have sex with them. It just means I think they are hot.

I am respectful of my marriage vows to my Amish wife.

Whether I decide to become a slave or a Dominant God I did not think this meant sex was implied.

A) I do not believe there is a woman on here -- domme or sub -- who appreciates the appelation "chick". Stop it.

B) Please define how you are remaining true to your marriage vow when you in any way bring another person into the dynamics of your relationship (whether your wife is involved or not)? Sexual activity is not the only definition of fidelity.

C) "Dominant God"? Puh-leeeze! Give us all a break!!

_____________________________

"I am selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't ACCEPT me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!"
~~ Marilyn Monroe.

(in reply to LancasterMaleSub)

Post #: 46

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 8:45:55 PM

LancasterMaleSub

Posts: 10
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

With all due respect.

I have come to this site to explore my interest in the D/s lifestyle and to determine if I should take on the role of a slave or a Dominant God in this lifestyle. I have questions and few answers...........

While I am leaning heavly towards taking on the role of a Dominant God I have not ruled out become a slave - I want to talk with my wife about this once I can explain to her more about the D/s lifestyle which is why I am on this site. I am also not sure if I will need to take classess or have some formal instruction on whichever role I take to be mine.

To answer your question - we have 3 children with one on the way. I will be a proud father regardless of my future role in the D/s lifestyle.

(in reply to daredevil865)

Post #: 47

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 8:47:18 PM

poplolly

Posts: 159
Joined: 10/7/2006
From: Edmonton
Status: offline

you joined collarme on 12/29/2006 and in 2 days you have gone from I want to be a slave to now perhaps I want to be a Dominant God ..and it is because submissive chicks are hotter...and now you are talking about power exchange.........boy give your head a shake...please tell me you and your wife are not planning to reproduce...surely you must come from the shallow end of the gene pool

Thank you, daredevil865, beautifully said.

< Message edited by poplolly -- 12/31/2006 8:50:57 PM >

_____________________________

"I am selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't ACCEPT me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!"
~~ Marilyn Monroe.

(in reply to daredevil865)

Post #: 48

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 8:53:31 PM

LancasterMaleSub

Posts: 10
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Please do not lecture me on the meaning of a marriage.....

Per your profile you are the single mother of 4 children.
Where is the father????????

I am still a father to my children and we have a healthy dual parent homelife......

(in reply to poplolly)

Post #: 49

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 8:59:44 PM

daredevil865

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LancasterMaleSub

With all due respect.

I have come to this site to explore my interest in the D/s lifestyle and to determine if I should take on the role of a slave or a Dominant God in this lifestyle. I have questions and few answers...........

While I am leaning heavly towards taking on the role of a Dominant God I have not ruled out become a slave - I want to talk with my wife about this once I can explain to her more about the D/s lifestyle which is why I am on this site. I am also not sure if I will need to take classess or have some formal instruction on whichever role I take to be mine.

To answer your question - we have 3 children with one on the way. I will be a proud father regardless of my future role in the D/s lifestyle.

Lancaster I am for this one post give you the benifit of the doubt and say you are being honest...and that you have come here looking to see what D/s is all about and if it meets what is missing in your life...

everyone here at one time or another was new and was looking ...hopeing to learn...to understand...and we all have made and I am sure in the future will again make mistakes...

so since you are here to learn I will offer a few words of advice...take out the Dominant God line...sit back read...ask questions..listen to the answers...do not rush...there is much here to learn....read some books on D/s including The Loving Dominant ...notice it is not called the Dominant God....yes a part of D/s is about power exchange but it is also about communication and respect....

In the light of the season...the best to you and your family in 2007..

_____________________________

DareDevil

A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

If I had to explain it...you wouldn't understand

(in reply to LancasterMaleSub)

Post #: 50

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 9:29:22 PM

valeca

Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline

"A closed mouth gathers no foot."

Also:

"Look, listen, learn."

"Think before speaking."

These apply no matter your eventual...er...path. Tact is a skill everyone can benefit from.

As for the rest (what you've posted here), I see too many things needing to be resolved before you can be successful in any form of BDSM relationship.

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to poplolly)

Post #: 51

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 9:30:54 PM

TxBlkMistress

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LancasterMaleSub

Yes I now understand that my previous posting was too harsh and I hope you will all accept my apology.

As I mentioned I am new to the D/s lifestyle and still in the "looking around" stage. I have tried to get my wife into this but I have not been successful, partly because she is Amish I believe, so I am very frustrated. When I told her last month that I was thinking about become a slave she gave me that "deer in the headlights" look - and it was clear she had no idea what I was talking about. So I started looking on-line for more information and found this site. We have a marriage built upon difficult compromises due to our different background (Amish Background, City Background) (I can use electric appliances - she cannot, I can use the car - she cannot, etc, etc) so things are difficult enough as it is.

Also after spending more time on this site I am now considering becoming a Dominant Male (Master, God, Lord, etc) instead of a male slave since there appears to be more attractive submissive chicks than Dominant chicks. And I do understand that my view of what an attractive chick is an entirely subjective opinion - I am not trying to offend anyone. But slave chicks do appear to be hotter to me than Dominant chicks on average so I may take this route.

My concern is that the transition to becoming a Dominant God from an aspiring male slave may be a difficult one. If anyone has experience with this I would like to hear from you.

hmm...first of all...I am height and weight proportioned, my job pays me well, I have friends so I guess I can get along with people...had my fair share of dates and proposals, but I choose this lifestyle and will not settle for vanilla....so I don't mind waiting, now...with that out of the way....

I want you to know I'm not saying any of this in anger, I am saying this so you know where I'm coming from.....I am a lifestyle Domina (love that term by the way...in late regards to the OP, which I think we all have forgotten is not this guy)...anywhooo

I am a lifestyle Domina...been that way off and on since I was about 20....I take this very seriously...that is why I am picky, because no one gets hurt under my care, and I have had several friends, and an ex in particular that had to be sent to the emergency room, minor things and one major, because they didn't want to take it slow, and know the person, or what they even wanted, they only wanted a quick fix and ran into someone like you.

What I mean by "like you" is someone that doesn't have a freakin' clue as to what the lifestyle is about. I mean first you want to be a sub...and in this mindset you come on and insult the very woman that you seek....

Then you come to the mind shattering realization that you now want to be a Dominant God...and was any of this based on any soul searching, or research....no...it's merely based on the fact because you think the "chicks" are hotter....huh? And by the way..I may not be your cup of tea looks wise, but I have seen some very barbie like hot (as you would think) Dommes on here...so unless you have seen every Domme's pic on the planet, not sure how you can make that statement...any way

my point is I take offense to someone that approaches what I do such a frivolous way, there are way too many like you on this site as it is, and it's frustrating for those of us that take this seriously, we have to... this is not a joke. the same way you wouldn't just "jump into" medicine, just because you want to haven an unlimited supply of tongue depressors, or because you think nurses are "hot"....you would have no experience and someone could get hurt...please research and rethink your "whole" entrance into the lifestyle, be it Dom or sub...because someone could really get hurt, even yourself.

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to LancasterMaleSub)

Post #: 52

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 9:37:54 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

A) I do not believe there is a woman on here -- domme or sub -- who appreciates the appelation "chick". Stop it.

Actually, I do. I use it all the time.

quote:

B) Please define how you are remaining true to your marriage vow when you in any way bring another person into the dynamics of your relationship (whether your wife is involved or not)? Sexual activity is not the only definition of fidelity.

Fidelity to me is about honesty. The problem would occur only if the wife were not fully informed of the other relationships.

Many married couples enjoy sex and relationships with other people very openly and happily.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to poplolly)

Post #: 53

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 9:46:26 PM

DiamondDiva

Posts: 266
Joined: 10/10/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LancasterMaleSub

With all due respect.

I have come to this site to explore my interest in the D/s lifestyle and to determine if I should take on the role of a slave or a Dominant God in this lifestyle.

This statement alone causes concern because if you have to "explore" and "decide" on whether you are Dom or sub then I don't think there is really an understanding of this lifestyle. You are who you are and being something else is not going to benefit you or the person (people) you are dealing with.

_____________________________

~Diamond Diva~

" When someone is telling you who they are LET THEM!!!

(in reply to LancasterMaleSub)

Post #: 54

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 9:53:33 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondDivaThis statement alone causes concern because if you have to "explore" and "decide" on whether you are Dom or sub then I don't think there is really an understanding of this lifestyle. You are who you are and being something else is not going to benefit you or the person (people) you are dealing with.

A person may be who they are, but that doesn't necessarily mean they will know instantly if a particular way works for them. That's why we have the term "bi-curious" and such.

We have threads on here all the time about people asking "How do I know if I really am a ____ ?" It's not an instantaneous moment of rebirth for everyone. And a lot of people settle into something, and then a few years later, settle into something different. Monogamous people going poly, bisexuals deciding to be with just one sex, slaves who decide they are switches. It's all very common.

To me, the issue isn't so much his indecision on what label or position to take- it's the cavalier and swift attitudes towards such positions that are the issue, as if it were just a coat to try on because it looks pretty from the window. That's a fast track to disaster on all sides.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DiamondDiva)

Post #: 55

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 10:14:13 PM

daredevil865

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A person may be who they are, but that doesn't necessarily mean they will know instantly if a particular way works for them. That's why we have the term "bi-curious" and such.

We have threads on here all the time about people asking "How do I know if I really am a ____ ?" It's not an instantaneous moment of rebirth for everyone. And a lot of people settle into something, and then a few years later, settle into something different. Monogamous people going poly, bisexuals deciding to be with just one sex, slaves who decide they are switches. It's all very common.

To me, the issue isn't so much his indecision on what label or position to take- it's the cavalier and swift attitudes towards such positions that are the issue, as if it were just a coat to try on because it looks pretty from the window. That's a fast track to disaster on all sides.

I agree the issue is not the indecision but the reason for the indecision and making foolish statements such as "I am considering becoming a Dominant God insteead of a male slave since there appears to be more attractive submissive chicks then Dominant chicks"

_____________________________

DareDevil

A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

If I had to explain it...you wouldn't understand

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 56

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 12/31/2006 10:53:01 PM

DiamondDiva

Posts: 266
Joined: 10/10/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

True to an extinct, however him being who he is just seems like a person trying to find Kinky sex not a lifestyle.

_____________________________

~Diamond Diva~

" When someone is telling you who they are LET THEM!!!

(in reply to daredevil865)

Post #: 57

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 1/1/2007 1:41:46 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondDiva
True to an extinct, however him being who he is just seems like a person trying to find Kinky sex not a lifestyle.

I think it's more that he isn't sure what he's trying to find- more like he's blindly leaping towards whatever sounds most good to him at that moment (and subs do this all the time in their frenzy).

If he was just finding kinky sex, that's not a problem in and of itself, in fact it would be laudable if that's what he admitted and honestly and openly sought that.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DiamondDiva)

Post #: 58

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 1/1/2007 7:02:27 AM

KaramelGoddess

Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline

I think we are paying him (lancaster) far more attention than we should...this post was not set up to debate about one (disrespectful) guy's exploration into BDSM...

The original poster would probably be appalled...his question was sincere and relevant enough.

So let Me ask it again for him...

quote:

What does it mean to be a "domme"?

~Kara

_____________________________

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 59

RE: What does it mean to be a "domme"? - 1/1/2007 8:57:19 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lezleeann

this is the first time Ive actually got round to reading the forum pages, and i dont know about you ladies but im really offended, I'm really new to things but id certainly like to give him a run for his money !

welcome to the fora lezleann

since your new can i give you a little friendly advice???

try to rewire that part of you that gets really offended about this stuff or you will be miserable in your new lifestyle..(also dont call it a lifestyle unless you want to piss some people off, but that is a story for another day).

honestly every week or so you will find something that will shock, amaze, offend and freak you out ...and even ten years from now...it will still happen at least once a month (i am living proof, 10 years later still shocked and amazed ...yet that is what i love about it)

any way i digress, being offended serves no purpose really save to create long term medical issues like high BP and ulcers...and to give you a false feeling of supierory...(not saying you are, just saying)

neither will serve you well in your new lifestyle....i like the word, so sue me

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 1/1/2007 9:09:09 AM >

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to lezleeann)

Post #: 60

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