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RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/30/2006 7:23:04 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		LA Perhaps private ones, but none of the public hosted ones by any of the groups around here allow money to be a part of the play party, except doorfee. course in her area it could be differnt.

But then again, unless someone's truely spectacular, and you couldn't do it unless you payed, why would someone pay for activities that someone at the party would be willing to do for free.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/30/2006 7:40:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss
LA Perhaps private ones, but none of the public hosted ones by any of the groups around here allow money to be a part of the play party, except doorfee. course in her area it could be differnt.

Allowing it and having it happen are two different things.

Lots of people get away with lots of things if they know the hosts or are well enough regarded.

I'll agree- it's rare for money to be exchange for play at public events unless it's a fundraiser auction, but it does happen.

quote:


But then again, unless someone's truely spectacular, and you couldn't do it unless you payed, why would someone pay for activities that someone at the party would be willing to do for free.

Because the buying IS the kink itself.  Objectification, whoring, all that.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/30/2006 8:35:05 PM   
untamedpt


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/20/2006
Status: offline 		i'm just a newbie.... but as a sub my choice was to feel safe and protected. Which means that if a Dom can't deal with my fears and make me able to obey Him... He is not right for me.

_____________________________

"You are responsible, forever, for what you have tamed" - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/30/2006 8:44:23 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I guess I could see that as the kink. I would not be  to objectional to being sold out if I got to keep most the money and I got some small say in my own saftey:)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/30/2006 9:34:29 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP...Repeat after me....I have the RIGHT to set limits...I have the RIGHT to discuss and negotiate all limits before accepting his dominance....I have the RIGHT to walk away....I have the RIGHT to accept or refuse any Dominant as my Dominant..IMO you may be going to fast into this relationship, you may need to acquire more education through books, munches,friendships within the BDSM community before you consider becoming some Dominants submissive. You need to know what exactly it is you wish in a relationship,you need to know why you wish what it is you wish, you need to know sooo much more than I think you know...be patient please, learn, grow more savvy, use a lot of common sense, and never hesitate to ask questions of anyone!..Dominant or submissive or switch.....be well....be safe, protect yourself.....Tempting

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/30/2006 10:23:15 PM   
NaiveTempest


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I am new to this lifestyle as well, my dear and still learning, but one thing I have learned is to ignore the urge to jump into it. When I first set up profiles on many other sites besides this one I met many interesting people and I remember one managed to charm me into half way agreeing to meet with him. Then, thanks to prior posts on this site, I learned about sub frenzy. Once I realized how it applied to me I stopped, evaluated and realized that this Dom really only wanted to have sex. Was that what I wanted? Would having sex with a Dom suddenly put me in the lifestyle? When I realized the answer was no, I wrestled down my sub frenzies, and took another look at everything. And I can now say I'm glad I did. Maybe, just maybe, you wanted to get involved in the lifestyle so bad that you let the first sweet talker you seemed to click with, sweep you away, but now caution is raising it's red flag. It maybe hard to ignore those frenzies (I still get the urge to give in to the sweet talkers) but it's for the best till you find the Dom that's truly right for you.

(in reply to fufured)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/31/2006 7:56:46 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Perhaps it is his kink to pimp out his slave.  Perhaps he was setting up a fantasy scenario.  Perhaps he was joking.  Perhaps he was serious.  Perhaps somewhere in the middle.  You won't know until you ask and evaluate your feelings on it. 

I won't tell you to run because 1.  I don't know his intentions and 2. I don't know yours.  So, I will echo what others have said here and say to discuss before making a commitment.  Also, make sure you know yourself and your partner before making a more permanent, committed relationship.  You have the power to determine what is and is not acceptable to you in a relationship.  Use it.  Then choose wisely when the time comes.  But, don't jump into anything.  You are not required to stop seeing or talking to others in the beginning stages of a relationship until you have agreed to be exclusive.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to NaiveTempest)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/31/2006 8:35:42 AM   
fufured


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe i haven't communicated with Him as best as i could.  He was very forthright and has always said what he wants/desires.  i am beginning to think im the one that needs to communicate better - i always "think" i am saying what i feel but i know from past experiences that isn't always the case.  Thanks everyone.

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/31/2006 8:39:14 AM   
untamedpt


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/20/2006
Status: offline 		ehehe
i call it pride and that is something i need to learn how to swallow.
a good Dom is not a fortune teller... admitting we are scared and worried is a great starting point. last time i've said i needed to talk and it was important i really got surprised when He appeared at my front door within an hour.... good luck

_____________________________

"You are responsible, forever, for what you have tamed" - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

(in reply to fufured)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/31/2006 2:52:59 PM   
gretchenS


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fufured

Maybe i haven't communicated with Him as best as i could.  He was very forthright and has always said what he wants/desires.  i am beginning to think im the one that needs to communicate better - i always "think" i am saying what i feel but i know from past experiences that isn't always the case.  Thanks everyone.


You should not only comunicate well with him but, also understand that for him to play pimpy dom with you he must have your trust, and that takes a long time, and on-line relationships are not easy in this respect.

I've been with my Master for over two years, very commited for life to him and "whoring me out" is still in a fantasy scale for both of us, and if he was going to play pimp, he would do it among good friends to keep me safe, requesting the necessary medical records.

I trust him very much and he trusts me because we have earn eachother's trust by enduring the good times and the bad times together... What I see in you is a lot of insecurities and a big lack of trust , even in yourself for yourself, at yourself.

I doubt very much that he would understand this, and probably would not take you as his slave. Quit being a big baby and take a serious rational look to the reality of things, without the kink blinding you...

Learn about the lifestyle... stick around in the forums... talk to submissives... make questions... before you jump in it.

DO YOU really want to trust this man??? I chose to think you don't....



< Message edited by gretchenS -- 12/31/2006 2:58:00 PM >

(in reply to fufured)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/31/2006 3:24:54 PM   
BDSM05478


Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

He's full of shit, There's no pay to play at play parties. He would not be makin money off of you at play parties.

LOL and you obviously have no idea what you are talking about.

It's rare at public parties, although it can still occur in private between people or with auctions.  And at private parties, it can most certainly be quite open.


Agreeing with LA as I have been to private parties where you could buy the services of others attending. All consenting adults that enjoy buying others or selling themselves. Now for the OP, my advice to you is if you feel that this is a "red flag" or "hard limit" for you do not stay and hope that you will grow to like it or suffer silently because he likes it and you think you have to do everything your new Dom says...... it could cause some very real damage and possibly turn you away from the lifestyle all together. and I hate to see anyone get so jaded from something that if used for good can be so liberating. Talk to him and find out for sure how he ment or invisions things being and search inside yourself for the right path, none of us can choose that for you,  look at it as if it may be the last choice you make. from my gallery (pecan not peanut) any Dom that isn't willing to address your concern is no Dom at all. Best of luck to you in the New Year.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/31/2006 5:15:43 PM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Just to be contrary, is it not feasible it was a light-hearted comment, one that was different to "you could be the next maybeline girl with those eyes" only in context?

I have said in the past to partners of mine such things as "if you were a hooker I would have written a blank check for sex like that"

_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/31/2006 5:39:39 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear fufured, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Red flag for me lass.  Anybody who is a person who says they can make easy money off you, will be most likely a 'pimp' and exploit you sexually under the guise of Domination/submission and or Master/slave.
 
You are worth more than a sex toy and used like prostitute.  Hold out for someone who will treat you with some class and not some sex for money machine.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 

(in reply to fufured)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind - 12/31/2006 5:56:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs
You are worth more than a sex toy and used like prostitute.  Hold out for someone who will treat you with some class and not some sex for money machine.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

I'll point out that it's completely possible to do BOTH- you can be treated with deep affection and class AND be used as a prostitute.  I've had a few relationships like that.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 34
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