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Breaking the Ice - 1/3/2007 9:09:13 PM   
DominantEngineer


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		Could anyone out there offer some pointers in initating contact with someone whom I find interesting? I have sent a few messages but have not received any replies, eventhough the messages seam to have been read. The last thing I want to do is totaly scare someone off. However, I much rather recieve a "go away toad, I'm not interested in you" than no response. I'm an introverted person so introducing myself is not something that comes naturally to me.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/3/2007 9:10:47 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Make it personal, make it relevant, make it complimentary but in a unique and creative way. 

Above all, make it sincere.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DominantEngineer)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/4/2007 12:27:44 AM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		DE, a lot of people here don't respond if you aren't what they're looking for, especially if your profile / greeting goes against what their profiles state. As long as you aren't rude, unnecessarily vulgar (unless the people you're contacting are into that) and have been sincere in your effort to be heard (and not sending a letter that could be construed as a "form" letter) it's just gonna take a little time. A lot of times, too, folks will read their mail, digest it for a couple days or more, and then respond. Good luck. ~smiling~

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/4/2007 1:13:05 AM   
patina


Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline 		Sometimes too Cm will put the message into the bulk file.  Unless you know to check it you can miss messages.   Whenever i get notice of any messages i just check both.

Patina

_____________________________

a diamond in the rough

(in reply to MmakeMme)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/4/2007 2:29:57 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		It's not easy.  There have been tons of threads on this subject.  Unfortunately, there's simply not much you can do if the other person isn't interested.  If it appears that they have been read and she hasn't answered, she probably won't.  She simply isn't interested.  The best thing to do is move on.  If she is interested at a later time, she may contact you.

(in reply to DominantEngineer)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/4/2007 7:42:18 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		There are a ton of threads on this subject and I would recommend looking at them. The most common answer is what LA said.

A sincere personal message that shows you read her profile and considered if you were a match and not just another girl you wrote as part of a mass marketing campaign. Do not go over the top in your tone or just agree with everything in her profile and act like that should be all it takes. I also always like some extra information about the person I could not gleam from their profile.

Yes, you will still get your share of too many no replies and it will be time consuming. Personally I would only focus on profiles where the women appear serious in their search and you are truly compatible based on both of your profiles and do not mass market to every woman you found attractive from their picture or they were a warm body in your city.

There is no shortcut, and writing generic messages, one line ones referring to your own profile and complaining about lack of replies and/or fakes as a reason for sending a one line or a generic will just not get it done. It may make it easier or blow off some frustration but in the end your goal is to find someone you are compatible with and get her to engage with you and the more effort you put into it the better chance you will have.

Good luck!



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/4/2007 7:43:05 AM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

The best thing to do is move on.  If she is interested at a later time, she may contact you.


I have to agree with this. Don't over analyze it; just move on.

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/4/2007 8:25:19 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Blatantly obvious question here but: Have you read their profile and know they are looking?
reason I ask is because I get mail daily from people wanting me to "submit"  Some I have even answered in the past saying I'm not here looking for a partner.  I'm here for the boards and to make friends.
Yet, they still e-mail me asking over and over.  One guy has e-mailed me 38 times the last time I counted.  Most I don't respond to and then I think well he doesn't realize he has contacted me so many times in the past.  So I respond again telling him of my situation.
Yet he continues to e-mail.
Perhaps whoever you are trying to contact just isn't interested?

(in reply to DominantEngineer)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/4/2007 4:53:23 PM   
littlespike


Posts: 80
Joined: 5/21/2005
From: Austin
Status: offline 		Quote: I have sent a few messages but have not received any replies.......

I am not sure how it is on the Domme side, but on the subie side it is wrong to "fill the mailbox".  My first Domme used to complain (endlessly) about her mailbox being filled with my emails.  She used to write back everyday,  but she still complained. 




(in reply to DominantEngineer)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/4/2007 5:37:36 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		What an adorable avatar!

(in reply to littlespike)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/4/2007 9:55:17 PM   
DominantEngineer


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Blatantly obvious question here but: Have you read their profile and know they are looking?



Yep read them a number of times to avoid just that situation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Perhaps whoever you are trying to contact just isn't interested?


Still would perfer some kind of response like: go away or no.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/4/2007 10:28:21 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantEngineer

Still would perfer some kind of response like: go away or no.


Many times someone won't respond to an e-mail to say "No, not interested" because many a "dominant" will respond extremely poorly to such notifications. It's the old - "Will you sleep with me?" "Sorry, I'm not interested." "Oh well then you are a fucking slut." sydrome. It's amazing how quickly a person can change from being desirable to fat and ugly once a rejection has been issued.

Not that it's right on either side, mind you. Just giving you a possible reason.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DominantEngineer)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/5/2007 12:16:09 AM   
littlespike


Posts: 80
Joined: 5/21/2005
From: Austin
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

What an adorable avatar!


thanks

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/5/2007 12:59:25 AM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		#1. Read the entire profile. Not just the part on the main page but open up and look at all the likes and dislikes and make certain that they are even looking for something other than just a friend or anything at all.
#2. Read their journal if they have one.
#3. I usually ignore the photo. Sometimes the photo is old, sometimes it is not even them. Sometimes it is used to scare some off, other times it is used to try to lure people in.
#4. If the profile mentions in it that they are from the US or United States, they probably are not. Most people in the US will not say that.
#5. If the weight is listed, do a height weight ratio, if they say they weigh 78 pounds and are 6'-1, they probably are not from the US either, and are using Kilos. You are likely in for a scam.
#6. When you do write your email do not write a one liner, be personal, but honest, direct. Make some comment to show you read their email and journal, and show something about you that is not in your profile or journal.
Above all, do not show hesitancy, or worry about whether they will contact you back or not.
Personally, once I email someone (when I was looking, I am not anymore) I then hit the Hide Button. That kept me from accidentally emailing them a second time if they did not respond to my email. Most do not like to be bothered multiple times. If they do not respond it is best to let it go. If they do respond you can open their profile and unhide them and place them in your favorites. Or at least read the message to see if it is favorable first.
Do not count on even a favorable reply meaning that it will last more than a few emails. Most of the people here are getting tons of emails and even if they are sending you a favorable email they are likely talking to several that they are favorable to as well. This could be a long process before you find one that will want to talk to you exclusively, but don't give up hope. For I have known many that have succeeded and have met here or on other sites similar to this and made wonderful lives together.
Just, in most cases it is up to the Dominant to make the first move.
One of my best relationships even happened when I had emailed someone and then unsent the email. The lady emailed me to ask why I had unsent it and we got to exchanging emails. Even though the relationship lasted only six months we are still friends over two years later and very good friends. So if nothing else you will gain some remarkable friends.

< Message edited by RobertCloud -- 1/5/2007 1:01:23 AM >

_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to littlespike)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/5/2007 4:37:24 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		No reply is your reply.

(in reply to DominantEngineer)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/5/2007 4:52:25 AM   
Faldegast


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline 		Most girls here (and some boys, but they are usually register as girls) doesnt reply at all. They are timewasters, move on.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/5/2007 9:38:07 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		What Aileen said.

(in reply to Faldegast)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/5/2007 6:52:06 PM   
DominantEngineer


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Many times someone won't respond to an e-mail to say "No, not interested" because many a "dominant" will respond extremely poorly to such notifications. It's the old - "Will you sleep with me?" "Sorry, I'm not interested." "Oh well then you are a fucking slut." sydrome. It's amazing how quickly a person can change from being desirable to fat and ugly once a rejection has been issued.

Not that it's right on either side, mind you. Just giving you a possible reason.


hadn't thought about that. Thanks

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Breaking the Ice - 1/5/2007 6:55:30 PM   
DominantEngineer


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		Robert Cloud, thank you for your response. Many great insights. Thank you.

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 19
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