RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (Full Version)

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BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 7:06:31 AM)

I am owned, but not yet collared, and He and I live a couple of hours apart, so having a reminder makes me feel connected to Him.  He had me grow His initial in my pubic hair, but that's not something you can look at or touch out in public [;)][;)]. 

So yesterday I found some silver hoop earrings at Walmart that had a small heart-shaped lock and key dangling from them.  The earrings are really hard to get snapped closed, so I took the heart lock/key off and will put them on any other hoops I wear.  That way, I can reach up and have a reminder I can touch. [:)]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 7:11:25 AM)

I think it's fine for the slave to buy their own collar, but I don't think they should do so as a surprise or without discussion if they are owned.



AquaticSub -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 7:43:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: katzschen

Was just wondering, have any submissives/slaves ever bought or ordered their own collars for any reason? Perhaps to show your devotion in your own way? Or in a long distance relationship where you couldn't go collar shopping with your Dominant/Master/Mistress?



I only have one collar that was given to me and several I bought myself. One to wear with a costume, one for sex and scenes, one to wear for myself as I take strength in my submissive nature and one that came with a set of hand-made fuzzy cuffs. Only one had anything to do with a dominant, my ex-fiance, and that one he gave me.



akisha -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 8:45:04 AM)

I've bought a couple collars. They don't have the significance that one given to me would have but when you are playing with people, it's nice to wear your own things and not worry about someone elses cooties on it.



littleone35 -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 8:54:36 AM)

Master bought my play collar but he let me had input on it because he wanted to make sure it was something i would be comfortable in.  He is looking for my perm collar and i know i will love it he has good taste.  I can't wait until he finds the one he wants.

Matt's littleone



amor -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 9:34:41 AM)

I have been living with my Master for the past six months, and every so often, when He has to go out of town for business, I will find myself prowling the house for something that He wears so that I can curl up with it...I find it very, very hard to sleep without His arm around me...damn near impossible, actually ~smiles brightly~  As for buying something like that...I've been tempted, but Master has spoken about getting an everyday "Fancy" collar for me to wear, and I believe He might be thinking about getting it for Valentine's day, or perhaps my birthday at the end of March.  I wear a pink collar with a bell on it, because it amuses Him, and there have been times when He wanted to take it off because it didn't match my outfit, but I refused to do so.  I feel naked without His collar around my neck and He understands and has never made me take it off ~grinz~



behindmirrors -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 11:14:40 AM)

For as much as I want to be collared to show his ownership of me, I understand that it's a very serious step for us to take in our relationship, and I am being as patient as I can as I work to earn his collar. I think if I had the audacity, in our dynamic, to go out and get one to present to him, it would take a whole lot longer for me to earn his collar- because that's something, to us, that's only his to give, and it is his decision on when and how that will happen. He expects it to be something earned, and not just given. That's not to say I don't drool over them constantly when at the pet store, or sex toy shop, or online, hehe- it's just to say that I'm not going to do anything about buying one until he feels it's right. Until then, I'll keep on trying as hard as I can to fulfill what he requests of me, learn what he wants me to, and to be as obedient to him as I can- there's really nothing more than that I can do.

I totally agree with sleeping with something that smells like him, haha- since I'm the one who more often goes on the road in our relationship, I bring a t-shirt of his with me to sleep with at night, and have a CD of really peaceful music he made for me to play at night when I can't sleep when I'm gone.

behindmirrors.




mymasterssub69 -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 11:45:47 AM)

He's quite picky and selective and knows what he wants to adorn my body.

we might search online together or (like he did for my chain) he'll find it on his own.



moftop61 -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 12:14:53 PM)

i have two collars that my Master has purchased and given to me.  However, i have many other "collars" that i have purchased He has allowed me to wear that match particular outfits i have. 

to answer your question about buying your own collar, to me it is like buying your own engagement ring.  sure you can buy a diamond ring if that's what you want but it doesn't symbolize any special relationship or status.

m



akisha -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 12:28:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: moftop61

to answer your question about buying your own collar, to me it is like buying your own engagement ring.  sure you can buy a diamond ring if that's what you want but it doesn't symbolize any special relationship or status.

m


Totally agree. The collars I bought for myself (when single) have no significance other then they are pretty or functional. Sir and I use them &  he has me wear them for different functions, but if they broke or got lost I would not be overly upset. But if something ever happened to a collar that was given to me by Him, then i'd be seriously upset.

I'd never buy my own engagment ring, i'd consider that a bit tacky. But I see nothing wrong, (especially if you are single) to buy a collar. It's not going to have any significance with in your relationship other then as a prop though. It would be like buying a pair of shoes.

Things is, once you are in a relationship (at least for me) purchases like that are discussed with the Dominant first anyway. I think in the last few months there are only a couple of non essential things that I bought with out first asking Sir what he thought or if i could. And I'm pretty sure that it'll get more strick at times goes on as well.



katzschen -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 1:03:43 PM)

Thank you all for the great responses.

As I mentioned before, I do understand not buying a formal collar on your own, which is, again, why I also brought up day collars/informal collars, and other various tokens that are special to you, such as bracelets, earrings, rings, necklacs, etc. I guess I'm mainly curious as to what you picked out when given the chance, and what it means to you.

Per my example, with the dog tags, I picked them out because I had nothing else to remind me of Him. I don't really consider them a collar, except maybe in the most informal of ways. They were special to me because they were all I had, besides my own heart, to remind me that I was His.



AquaticSub -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/4/2007 2:34:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: katzschen

Thank you all for the great responses.

As I mentioned before, I do understand not buying a formal collar on your own, which is, again, why I also brought up day collars/informal collars, and other various tokens that are special to you, such as bracelets, earrings, rings, necklacs, etc. I guess I'm mainly curious as to what you picked out when given the chance, and what it means to you.



Well, the sex/scene collar I have came with a set of ankle and wrist cuffs (I firmly believe that a submissive should have their own toybox), the fuzzy collar and cuffs were really playful and had a pendent of a castle on them. I bought a blue collar with rinestones to wear with the outfit you see in my userpic, and I have a very simple purple collar that came from a pet store. I wear this on every day occasions, when I just feel a need to have my neck be covered. They don't mean all that much to me. They are collars that I bought. Not much different then my assortment of necklaces or rings. The only one I had that meant anything was the black leather one that my ex gave me. However, it has lost all association with him and now it's much the same as any other that I have.



slavekal -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/5/2007 5:59:56 PM)

I bought the chain and lock I wear around my neck because I found it first.  I saw it in the store, sent a camera phone pic to Ms. Mlicious.  She loved it.  So I bought it, and when I saw her, handed her the keys.  She was way turned on.



saharasub -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/9/2007 5:07:56 PM)

when i first started in this lifestyle i thought that it was "wrong" for a slave/sub to buy her own collar - after some experience, i realized i loved the feeling of a collar (and leash) and bought my own to remind me of my own submission...i also wear my own collar to bdsm events where i do not want to necessarily meet anyone, kind of like wearing a wedding ring when i was a bartender...lol...



Caitriona -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/9/2007 5:26:36 PM)

My Lord has purchased all collars that I wear.  However, if I find something that I like I am permitted to show it to him and if he approves, more often than not he will purchase it for me.



justinasamerk -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/9/2007 6:09:42 PM)

Master has had multiple girls, yet i was his "Collared" girl, meaning i was his girl only and belonged to him alone.  The other girls he trained were required to wear a collar while in his presensebut it was more ofa play, scene, your with me for the night sort of collaring...
There was a moment where i really became offended when he put one of my locking collars around a girls neck and only started using that on her. Then he would put it on me and expect me to wear it. For his birthday i got down on my hands and knees, and bought a similar collar one in which he could place it on me and only me...had tears in my eyes, and explained to him how i felt. This was a gift we both shared.......



cjenny -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/9/2007 7:54:48 PM)

http://members.aol.com/quagmyr/jewelry1.htm

My LDR Dom chose this for me. The fun part is when someone recognizes the symbol [:D]
It is discreet, pretty & I've liked the emblem for awhile.



sklavenhexe -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/10/2007 4:16:52 AM)

greetings,
 
having 22 years of real time experience as Gorean kajira this girl feels she has earned the right to put her thought in this conversation.
 
this girl has done long distance, online temporarily until relocated, and is most familiar with real time as that is where she started. she finds it appalling to think of a girl or boy buying their own collar and putting a Master or Mistress' name to it and wearing it.
 
in this girl's opinion that is a mark of blatant disrespect to the Free Person you are claiming to be owned by. a slave or submissive does not own a collar and has no reason to purchase one. if a slave or submissive feels the need to go out and purchase a collar for her/hisself then there is something seriously wrong and someone needs a beating somewhere whether it be the Free who allowed the slave or submissive to do it or it is the slave/submissive.
 
still in this ones opinion, if you do not have a collar around your neck, wrist, ankle or wherever put by a Free who you are serving then you have not earned one and need to get a real clue of what the collar is all about before you take it upon yourself to put one there and claim to be owned. The Free choose when they collar, the slaves and submissives do not make that call.
 
and one last thought (still in this one's opinion) for those who get one in secret and wear it, you might want to consider the reason you are wearing it and ask yourself if it is really worth it to you.
 
that is just this ones opinion, she is sorry if it offends anyone but even that is not going to change her feeling on this specific issue.
 



CometoUs -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/10/2007 4:43:50 AM)

Personally I would be rather offended if I found out that someone who serves me had gone and bought their own collar, with me in thought. (Or dogtag, or earrings, or bracelet, anklet, or what ever.)
Even if it is for just thinking about me, or what ever reason you might find.
I would much rather that he asks me for something of mine, unless I had already given him something (which is something I am fond of doing to show that it is something serious, but that the collar has to be earned. A collar to me is like an engagement ring, something serious).

Moreover I think a collar belongs to the dominant, as someone already pointed out, and should be returned if and when the relationship is over.
This of course means that the dominant owns the collar, should have paid for it, and picked it out as well. Then there is the personal choise of asking for the slaves opinion on which one.



EnglishPortia -> RE: Buying/ordering your own collars? (1/10/2007 11:33:20 AM)

As a Mistress, one of my rules in accepting a submissive is that they buy themselves a collar to wear when with me. This collar represents the fact that he is taken. It is also a tangible reminder for him of his choice to submit to me.

For more formal collaring, a collar is something that I would choose, buy and have him wear.

The first represents his committment to me, the second that we have a committed relationship to each other.



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