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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/14/2008 11:14:34 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Being a world traveler I will say the Pro-Domme's in the UK are fantastic. Their dungeons are actually dungeons and most have all the equipment you could dream of. Most of the time an interview occurs first to make sure your needs are going to be meet and what will happen in the scene. Very professional to say the least.

In the US, their are certainly good Pro-Dommes but their are so many imposters as well. I see so many Pro-Dommes on here advertise and they do not even have a Dungeon. Some do not even have a whip. I really have to laugh when a supposed Pro-Domme in the US wants $350/hour but does not even have a Dungeon.

MM, that, to me, implies exactly the opposite of what I've always hoped, and come to assume, it means to be either a Domme or a sub. 


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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/14/2008 11:28:21 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		mummyman, maybe a different culture? In Germany a lot of Dommes also do not own a dungeon but they do rent from a dungeon simply due to comply with local laws (can't be anywhere near schools, churches, in residential neighborhoods) so you can imagine that the areas that are not restricted charge a fortune in rent.


I think the US also has legal issues, I met a lot of US Dommes and while most rented from an existing dungeon or another indie, they all seemed to be quite well equipped when it came to tools and toys.

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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/14/2008 11:30:18 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/14/2008 12:41:26 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Lady Constanze,
I do agree. There is definetely a cultural difference between the US & UK. Land in the UK is much more expensive than compared to the US. The US does also have legal issues so in the US the scene is much more underground. Also we do have well equipped dungeons here. The downside is their are many Dommes over her posing as Pro-Dommes but do not have the equipment or a Dungeon and see it as a way to make a fast dollar instead of providing a service.

I certainly have nothing against Pro-Dommes over here. And when I was younger I helped a few Dommes acutally start their own dungeons by designing and building equipment for them. Sometimes I really miss those days!

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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/14/2008 12:54:50 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think it depends about which part of the US you are talking about, I thin Manhattan prices can put almost anywhere in the UK to shame, including London.

I think the "ladies" you are talking about are possibly not Dommes but just well, girls who happen to own a pair of boots, I have lived in a few different countries and I think what you describe happens everywhere, just if you do live somewhere you tend to notice it more.

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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/14/2008 12:57:08 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

.unfortunately there are a 1000 fakes to the that 1 good Pro-Domme.



And you don't think that Pro-Dommes can say the same thing about subs and potential clients?

Please don't take this personally but it seems that every 5th thread or so someone's calling someone else a fake or making some sort of quality judgment on someone else. Such a cheap shot, don't you think?

And you wonder why none of you people can't find anyone and why there's so many negative vibes on the other side? So many things are possible in BDSM, apart from opening a closed mind, or so it seems.

I just wish some people would get with the program. For every fake there's a sucker. Worth considering?

Rant and hijack over.

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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/15/2008 7:04:30 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321



Being a world traveler I will say the Pro-Domme's in the UK are fantastic. Their dungeons are actually dungeons and most have all the equipment you could dream of. Most of the time an interview occurs first to make sure your needs are going to be meet and what will happen in the scene. Very professional to say the least.

In the US, their are certainly good Pro-Dommes but their are so many imposters as well. I see so many Pro-Dommes on here advertise and they do not even have a Dungeon. Some do not even have a whip. I really have to laugh when a supposed Pro-Domme in the US wants $350/hour but does not even have a Dungeon.



So now, a dungeon equates to domination? I don't have a dungeon at the moment, because  I don't plan on hanging around my current location for more than a year or so. 

It's interesting when 'submissives' demand a REAL TWUE dominant woman, but come with a laundry list of what she must wear, where they want to meet, what toys they want used....


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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/15/2008 7:26:50 AM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR: No, no more than the term "sex worker" is an oxymoron. (I am NOT implying or stating that that a pro domina is a sex worker.)

OP, do you know how offensive you sound?
quote:

"feeling of power to be able to get someone to do something that they would never do otherwise, simply by waving a few bills under the nose"

You just outright stated that:

  • Pro dominas find their work distasteful. (Doesn't everyone? clearly you do!)
  • You can bribe pro dominas to take unpracticed or unskilled or unpleasant actions with more money. (If unpracticed or unskilled, then you just put your own safety at risk. If unpleasant, how well will they do it? Or do it more/worse/harder because they dislike it? more unsafe, unhealthy, adrenaline-junky behavior.)
  • You like to manipulate people with money. I'd say manipulate with greed, except you're talking about their livelihood; that's not greed, that's need. And it makes you out pretty scuzzy.


Brrr. If I do go pro, (a decade hence) to support me in my old age, I hope like hell I never even interview a potential client that squickful.

Lady Delilah Deb

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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/15/2008 7:45:41 AM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

So now, a dungeon equates to domination? I don't have a dungeon at the moment, because I don't plan on hanging around my current location for more than a year or so.

It's interesting when 'submissives' demand a REAL TWUE dominant woman, but come with a laundry list of what she must wear, where they want to meet, what toys they want used....



I never said Dominant equates to a dungeon and I would agree that is far from the truth. I was strictly speaking about Pro-Dommes. And yes, if I pay a Pro-Domme for a service, I should get what I pay for. And you make the agreement sound like a one sided arguement and that is far from the truth. In a Pro-Domme session there is a mutal agreement between the two on what will happen. Either party has the right to say, no that is not what I want and walk away.

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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/15/2008 8:37:39 AM   
HagiaSophia


Posts: 39
Joined: 4/17/2008
From: St. Petersburg/Tampa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fullokinks

Being a switch, I understand the power of money; I have it and others want it. There is a genuine feeling of power to be able to get someone to do something that they would never do otherwise, simply by waving a few bills under the nose. [...]  So, is pro-domme an oxymoron? I tend to think that 90% of the time the pro is being coerced into doing a session that she would rather not do.


Interesting, does having an expensive lawyer make you feel the same way? Do you think that you're paying lots of money to get her or him to do things outside their normal purview?

For me, money is a small part of the entire domination package. I'm a lifestyler and a Pro. I play with a select and lucky few for free. I never do anything I don't want to do. But, other men and women want to play with me badly enough that they're willing to pay for the privilege. That's power. I don't accept every potential client. But then again, I encourage pre-session consultations in order to elicit useful information. I guess the difference is in the Domme, if she's automaton just providing the same essential session over and over again, or if she looks to build a long-lasting understanding oriented toward mutual growth. 


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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/16/2008 12:50:50 AM   
MistressRouge


Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fullokinks
Being a switch, I understand the power of money; I have it and others want it.


What does being a switch have to do with the power of money?

Nonsensical!


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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/16/2008 5:52:23 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressRouge

quote:

ORIGINAL: fullokinks
Being a switch, I understand the power of money; I have it and others want it.


What does being a switch have to do with the power of money?

Nonsensical!



Maybe he's talking about the debit card. That could be his kink, impersonating a debit card.

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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 11/16/2008 9:02:46 AM   
MistressRouge


Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressRouge

quote:

ORIGINAL: fullokinks
Being a switch, I understand the power of money; I have it and others want it.


What does being a switch have to do with the power of money?

Nonsensical!



Maybe he's talking about the debit card. That could be his kink, impersonating a debit card.



Lol stella




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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 12/21/2008 3:49:38 AM   
boytoyinatlanta


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		pro dommes aren't forced to do what they don't want to do...if the client needs or tolerance levels suits the skills and interests of the pro then the fun will begin...it's all about negotiation and consent

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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 12/22/2008 1:02:29 AM   
azjojoba


Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline 		Pro-domme  is not an oxymoron, it's a TAUTOLOGY. 

< Message edited by azjojoba -- 12/22/2008 1:03:44 AM >

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RE: Is Pro-Domme an Oxymoron? - 12/22/2008 4:29:07 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Please don't take this personally but it seems that every 5th thread or so someone's calling someone else a fake or making some sort of quality judgment on someone else. Such a cheap shot, don't you think?


*evil grins*  I just got called a "fake" (in a rather off handed way) the other day by a guy who writes to me frequently.  I was actually chit chatting with him about doing all my Christmas baking for my friends and family as well as other things.  He suddenly popped up with this "I don't think you're actually very Dominant"  crap.  I answered, "Just because I'm not a raging bitch 24/7 doesn't mean that I'm not controlling my men in different ways." 

I mentioned this exchange to my Dom mentor and I thought he'd laugh his head off.  He knows better than anyone that my sweet, loving personality works as the perfect lure to get men into my trap. 

**Stella can start singing "When we get behind closed doors" now.**

Just because a Dom/me or a submissive doesn't 'act' the way you think they 'should' constantly doesn't mean that they are not sincere.  I don't want the subs or slaves who can't think for themselves or show a little back bone.  Surely every man out there isn't looking for the Ice Queen?  Any woman who actually does not hate men is a fake?


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