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RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 7:36:59 PM

Tikkiee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Havent you ever heard the saying "anything worth haveing is worth fighting for"... if you arent willing to fight for it maybe it isnt something you really want..

Magik's slave

There are some of us who fought very hard for it magikslave and yet it still eludes us. It has nothing to do with us 'not wanting it in the first place'. Just something to think about.

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RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 7:37:47 PM

ScooterTrash

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

When I see a post of someone who is not happy with what they are.. or are having trouble with their chosen identity (I'm talking Dom/Sub/Switch etc) I think.. if you have to work at it.. maybe you are in the wrong path.

What do you think?

From a Dominant point of view (mine), I would say whatever comes natural when you get up each morning tells you that there is no doubt. That being said, from a D/s standpoint, Dominant for me is natural, in BDSM context, regarding play...sometimes it takes work. I think your role is something you likely don't work at, but interacting to match that role might involve more effort...I think that made sense, possibly..well it could have, maybe...lol.

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RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 7:44:55 PM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Havent you ever heard the saying "anything worth haveing is worth fighting for"... if you arent willing to fight for it maybe it isnt something you really want..

Magik's slave

There are some of us who fought very hard for it magikslave and yet it still eludes us. It has nothing to do with us 'not wanting it in the first place'. Just something to think about.

Yes but that doesnt mean that you have gone down the wrong path it just means that path you wanted isnt so easy.. and Well it can be very worth while to take the road less traveld!!!

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 1/5/2007 7:45:25 PM >

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RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 7:53:37 PM

LotusSong

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Actually, it wasn't any thread that motivated me.. but the lament I hear when someone says that they "are struggling with their submission/dominance". While learning everything might be difficult, it is my opinion that ones "essence" would win out.

My first time bottoming, was extremely difficult for me, as was the second time. I had no desire to continue to explore it. When I topped, I flew. I knew right then.

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RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 7:56:52 PM

MagiksSlave

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Yes well LS I am most deffinetly submissive with every cell that I am I love to searve my Master, however this is anything but the path of least resistance. It is the path that is most true to myself and what I am but by no means is it the easiest one.

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
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before the devil even knows your there.

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Post #: 25

RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 8:00:03 PM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Yes well LS I am most deffinetly submissive with every cell that I am I love to searve my Master, however this is anything but the path of least resistance. It is the path that is most true to myself and what I am but by no means is it the easiest one.

Magik's slave

What's difficult for you? (sincere question-I'm curious)

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 1/5/2007 8:01:54 PM >

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RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 8:03:59 PM

MagiksSlave

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Come on I dont think there is a single slave here that can say beeing a slave is easy!!!!
Im constantly beeing tested by things and sometimes I do fail and no I cant always make stubling blocks into steping stones. I dont feel the need to give personal examples.

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

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Post #: 27

RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 8:07:01 PM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Come on I dont think there is a single slave here that can say beeing a slave is easy!!!!
Im constantly beeing tested by things and sometimes I do fail and no I cant always make stubling blocks into steping stones. I dont feel the need to give personal examples.

Magik's slave

Not a problem :) LOL

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Post #: 28

RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 8:13:23 PM

MagiksSlave

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hope I made sence though Miss

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

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Post #: 29

RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 8:17:08 PM

VeryMercurial

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I have never been confused about my identity in this lifestyle. I am a Dominant woman.
I try to avoid relationships with partners that are confused about which role they prefer.

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Post #: 30

RE: What am I? - 1/5/2007 9:25:16 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

hope I made sence though Miss

Magik's slave

You made sense to me.

Sometimes figuring out what we are is hard, no question about it. Sometimes reaching toward what we know we must become is even harder. My Master used to tell me, "If it was easy, anyone could do it." It can be very difficult for any "type" of person to become true to themselves. That's why therapists do so well. We all have baggage we need to get through. We all (most) have barriers, that need to come down. I knew with all that was within me that I needed to become what was truly inside me and needed to come out. But it was scary as hell and difficult as hell to plow through the crap that had been heaped on me over the years so that I could freely submit. It was hard work. I am amazed at my Master's ability to be patient and intolerant at the same time. He laid out the path for me, and let me figure my way down it. I had to overcome a lot of internal demons to do that.

I wonder, though, if what the OP means is if something feels forced and unnatural, then is it wrong for them? While my journey has been difficult, it has felt "right" the entire time.

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RE: What am I? - 1/6/2007 4:53:49 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Come on I dont think there is a single slave here that can say beeing a slave is easy!!!!
Magik's slave

depending on your definition of easy, this slave will take the challenge.

if your definition of easy =
no struggle with one's submission
no hard work to get into some sort of submissive "mode"
no angst over service
no issues with family, friends or relationship partner with regards to it
no rebellious thoughts towards Master or His directions
all with no desire to top, dominate or Master anyone or any relationship
then
YES INDEED!!!! there is a slave here who will say it is absolutely the easiest orientation she has ever had the pleasure to self-identify with.

quote:

I think.. if you have to work at it.. maybe you are in the wrong path.

What do you think?

that some folks WANT it to be work, that they WANT a struggle.

that the work and the struggle is ultimately tied to their satisfaction somehow.

that there is nothing wrong with that--for them, but it sure would feel wrong to this slave.

choosing the path of slavery might have been the one less travelled, but it has definitely been the path of "no" resistance for this slave. like your description of bottoming, this slave has always struggled with topping, or dominating anyone or anything.

this slave puts effort into pleasing Master, but she wouldn't consider it "work". this slave considers "work" something that one doesn't enjoy.

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Post #: 32

RE: What am I? - 1/6/2007 5:50:04 AM

asubmissiveheart

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I am a submissive male. I know I can be submissive but I am not slave material.
I struggled with this for a long time. I wanted to be a slave.
But I have come to realize that I am a submissive, and will never be a slave.

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Post #: 33

RE: What am I? - 1/6/2007 6:16:01 AM

bandit25

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Nothing wrong with knowing yourself...not everyone has a slave orientation or mentality.

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Post #: 34

RE: What am I? - 1/6/2007 7:16:58 AM

Fawne

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Hi LotusSong

Maybe it is like bisexuality? Degrees. The Kinsey scale....

Some may have switch potential. Others may not feel whole with one single, static definition of being. Some are new and exploring.

Hopefully all will find peace.

sincerely, fawne

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Post #: 35

RE: What am I? - 1/6/2007 7:41:02 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
The idea of being a submissive in BDSM relationship causes me a great deal of distress.
I always have visions of "submitting for about 5 minutes" then doing the other person some
form of bodily harm.
Before I go into full cardiac arrest, I tell myself, NO dear you don't have to ever be a submissive.

You have no idea how familiar these thoughts are to me! I was having this very conversation with myself this morning while driving, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the thoughts, than letting them go; so I am shocked to see it here in print. M

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RE: What am I? - 1/6/2007 7:54:45 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

When I see a post of someone who is not happy with what they are.. or are having trouble with their chosen identity (I'm talking Dom/Sub/Switch etc) I think.. if you have to work at it.. maybe you are in the wrong path.

What do you think?

Maybe... and Maybe Not. Every Situation needs to be consider on it's merits and not on some question looking for a pointless universal answer.

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Post #: 37

RE: What am I? - 1/6/2007 8:31:41 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

When I see a post of someone who is not happy with what they are.. or are having trouble with their chosen identity (I'm talking Dom/Sub/Switch etc) I think.. if you have to work at it.. maybe you are in the wrong path.

What do you think?

Maybe... and Maybe Not. Every Situation needs to be consider on it's merits and not on some question looking for a pointless universal answer.

but then, I've not given up on the "singularity" theory of quantum physics.

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RE: What am I? - 1/6/2007 2:28:30 PM

asubmissiveheart

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Thats true bandit, but a part of me longs for more of a slave mentality.
I think I could eventually become a slave with the right Mistress.

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Post #: 39

RE: What am I? - 1/6/2007 3:26:17 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

hope I made sence though Miss

Magik's slave

You made sense to me.

Sometimes figuring out what we are is hard, no question about it. Sometimes reaching toward what we know we must become is even harder. My Master used to tell me, "If it was easy, anyone could do it." It can be very difficult for any "type" of person to become true to themselves. That's why therapists do so well. We all have baggage we need to get through. We all (most) have barriers, that need to come down. I knew with all that was within me that I needed to become what was truly inside me and needed to come out. But it was scary as hell and difficult as hell to plow through the crap that had been heaped on me over the years so that I could freely submit. It was hard work. I am amazed at my Master's ability to be patient and intolerant at the same time. He laid out the path for me, and let me figure my way down it. I had to overcome a lot of internal demons to do that.

I wonder, though, if what the OP means is if something feels forced and unnatural, then is it wrong for them? While my journey has been difficult, it has felt "right" the entire time.

Of course...this can be taken to an extreme also. Someone can state that they want to be that submissive that is deep inside them but they never seem to make it or they never seem to find the right dominant to bring it out in them. Is it really true that there has never been a dominant/submissive that could not bring it out in them or is it that they fought the dominant every step of the way because they were afraid of what was within or is it that they fought the dominant because there really wasn't anything within their soul even if it was in their mind or is it that the fighting...for whatever reason...finally wore out the most patient of dominants?

Some people go through their lives never seeming to find that person who brings out the best in them. I am divorced and so I know that someone could say that I never found the right person. Depends on your point of view...if your view is that you are only successful if you find someone who changes and grows just as you do and whose interests remain complimentary and/or interesting to you for the rest of your life then no, I have never found that person. If your point of view is that you learn and grow and change for the better because of this person and the relationship works for a long time and you end up a better person than you were when you started the relationship, and this betterment remains even after the relationship ends, then you have found a person who brought out the best in you. Even if they or you walk away from each other, for whatever reason. There are times I cannot stand my ex for many varied reasons. But I know that for awhile...a fairly long while...she was the one who brought out the best in me.

By the way...before anyone thinks I pick only on submissives...the first paragraph could, with a few changes, most likely fit a few that call themselves dominant also.

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