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RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/8/2007 8:28:28 AM

ardelle

Posts: 63
Status: offline

Greetings

quote:

Honesty is a quality, not a responsibility. I feel no reason to be dishonest with my slave, but I have no obligation to be honest either. I think perhaps that we share a different definition of the word slave. Why should I be required to be honest with my property?

i apologize if my words came across as sounding argumentative; it was just a question of curiosity. Not many would list honesty as something that is not a responsibility; whether it be in a vanilla relationship or one of ownership.
Again, i apologize if my question offended you. That was not my intent.

i wish you well

(in reply to aSlavesLife)

Post #: 21

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/8/2007 8:42:46 AM

aSlavesLife

Posts: 347
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ardelle

Greetings

quote:

Honesty is a quality, not a responsibility. I feel no reason to be dishonest with my slave, but I have no obligation to be honest either. I think perhaps that we share a different definition of the word slave. Why should I be required to be honest with my property?

i apologize if my words came across as sounding argumentative; it was just a question of curiosity. Not many would list honesty as something that is not a responsibility; whether it be in a vanilla relationship or one of ownership.
Again, i apologize if my question offended you. That was not my intent.

i wish you well

No offense taken. I see honesty as a personality trait that is either possessed or not. If I possess it, I will be honest not as a responsibility, but as part of my nature. If I am dishonest, I will most likely lie if you ask me a question pertaining to my honesty. I am unable to see it as a responsibility in any case.

(in reply to ardelle)

Post #: 22

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/8/2007 2:01:31 PM

ardelle

Posts: 63
Status: offline

Greetings

quote:

No offense taken. I see honesty as a personality trait that is either possessed or not. If I possess it, I will be honest not as a responsibility, but as part of my nature. If I am dishonest, I will most likely lie if you ask me a question pertaining to my honesty. I am unable to see it as a responsibility in any case.

thankyou for clarifying this for me. When put into a perspective such as yours, it makes more sense.

i wish you well

(in reply to aSlavesLife)

Post #: 23

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/8/2007 2:42:13 PM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

The question then arises that without honesty, what happens to trust?

(in reply to aSlavesLife)

Post #: 24

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/8/2007 2:59:03 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

The question then arises that without honesty, what happens to trust?

My thoughts exactly.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 25

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/8/2007 3:06:17 PM

Gaius

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

   It is a little surprising to me how often I see this type of post. Maybe that is because I do not spend at much time with the online D/s community as most. Over and over I see the chats and posts about honesty and responsibility and it just seems so pointless if people were in a real relationship.
   Having a slave/sub is about service. What is serving? It means the girl is doing something that the Master NEEDS.
   It seems so many supposed Masters have strict rules and discipline but don’t actually let the girl serve him. Instead he wants a pet to do tricks for him on command.
   All of these fears and questions about trust and responsibility become meaningless when a slave provides real meaningful service to her Master, which he depends on.
   Think about it, if a Master really needed the service his girl provides what are the chance that we would abuse the girl who is providing that service? What are the chances that he would not fulfill his responsibility to her? Not likely because he needs her service, which means he values her.
   On the other hand is you are a Master that just wants a pet to do tricks on command and you don’t really need the girl then it is very likely she will be abused, ignored or traded in one day because she never provided a valuable service i.e. he never needed her.
I demand absolute obedience from my girl but in return she has real responsibility because her service is needed by me. She gets punished severely for disobedience not because I just want to be strict but because when she fails in her service there is a real consequence for that frailer not just my displeasure.
When a girl knows her service is real and important and she fails at it she punishes herself far more than anything I can do to her because she knows she truly failed me not just some meaningless rule.   In a true D/s relationship a girl does not have to worry about trust, abuse or being valued.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 26

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/8/2007 3:39:32 PM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

In a true D/s relationship a girl does not have to worry about trust, abuse or being valued.

i find that statement along with the statement insinuating that i am an "online" sub extremely laughable. i know that i am not alone in my contention that trust and honest communication is key to a successful M/s or D/s relationship. i guess all of us who believe that aren't in a "true" M/s or D/s relationship. Silly us to place such a value on those things.

(in reply to Gaius)

Post #: 27

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/8/2007 5:06:06 PM

Solinear

Posts: 283
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

There aren't any hard and fast rules. The responsibilities are those which the master choses to accept. If he or she takes doesn't take on enough or the right responsibilities in the view of the slave, eventually he or she will leave.

In short, each relationship is unique.

While this is universally true, there are a few basic rules:

1) To keep their sub/slave safe. Example: If your sub/slave wants you to beat them until you're starting to cripple them, sometimes it's not their safe word, it's yours.

2) To respect their use of the safe word and not punish them for using it. It's called the 'safe word' for a reason and just because they decide that something is a hard stop for them, doesn't give you the justification to punish them for not letting you do something wrong. That's not saying that they can use it indescriminately - that's when the slave will find themselves without a collar and with all of their shit on the front porch - at least at my house.

I think those are the only 2 that would really be a necessity. Without those, the master endangers themselves going from master to mean bastard very quickly. Also, the slave endangers themselves to finding themselves in a position where they aren't safe.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 28

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/8/2007 8:31:59 PM

aSlavesLife

Posts: 347
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

The question then arises that without honesty, what happens to trust?

The condition which my slave is in leaves her no alternative but to trust me absolutely. She is in a position in which she has no choice but to trust me. She is dependent on me for every necessity save for oxygen, and even that could be deprived her were it my desire to do so.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 29

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/9/2007 3:01:57 AM

MasterHXB

Posts: 48
Joined: 1/3/2007
Status: offline

To carefor that slave. To love that slave and to control that slave in such away to make that person's life much more rewarding in and out of bed.

(in reply to Master4slavlisa)

Post #: 30

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/9/2007 11:55:17 AM

desoutter

Posts: 91
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

let me hold your hand like a small child - -

I kid - just watched wedding singers and its hard to concentrate....

on to the question - you and your partner define your roles - its very difficult to hypothesise what your role and responsiblities are in a relationship without discussing them with your partner...
I have been in relationships where sub would wear only clothes I placed out for her... eat only what I allowed her to eat... shower only when directed... I even brushed her hair...
then again I have been involved with woman who stand entirely on their own and are only interested in game play - they do what they want from a relationship standpoint and submit for scenes...

as you can see - its a mystery to all!
first - define your capabilities - in other words - know your limitations....
second - discuss these with you partner - come to terms and proceed...

thats the nutshell - you decide what goes in it...
desoutter

side note: dont kid yourself - if she is looking for more than what you may be willing to provide - discuss... I had one relationship where sub wanted me to do e-v-e-r-ything - It annoyed me... I prefer a woman who is balanced and can manage her own life and share in mine... these relationships have always worked best FOR ME... as for the sub - she was off to search for a new master before I even got a chance to finish telling her I wasnt going to instruct her when to go to the bathroom...

random thoughts

_____________________________

When the going gets weird... the weird turn pro.

(in reply to Master4slavlisa)

Post #: 31

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/9/2007 11:59:11 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Every couple is different. Simply put, your responsibilities are whatever you and your prospective slave agree to. If the two of you are not on the same page to begin with, the relationship is not likely to last. If you have someone particular in mind, the two of you need to do a lot of communicating about what each of you expects out of the relationship.

That doesn't mean the relationship won't change over time, I can almost guarantee it will. But if you build that strong foundation to begin with, you will weather the storms easier. The single best advice I can give you is to keep the lines of communication open. Good luck.

With respect, Sir Dominic

(in reply to MasterHXB)

Post #: 32

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/9/2007 3:54:27 PM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

I have a responsibility to my slaves physical, mental and emotional health. This does not mean she is coddled, pampered or spoiled, actually it is quite the contrary.

Orion

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 33

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/9/2007 3:59:20 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

You are responsible for whatever you set forward as beig your side of the relationship. If you are in a Master/slave relationship that is just that and nothing more, your responsabilities toward your property are going to be far different than if you are in a romantic relationship with that same slave.
In my own situation, my responsability is for Angel's overall wellbeing. His mental, emotional and phsyical care are all in my hands. I am also responsible for monitoring his eatting habits, which are in need of changing to something heathier my command of his dctor, but which he is having trouble doing on his own. Is this a common responsability, no, but it is one I have taken upon myself as part of his physical well being and safety.
You and the slave in question have to discuss what each are responsable for in the arrangement when you decide to start one. After thats discussed, you also have to stick to it. There is no rule about who does what, but once you make your own rules, they should evolve with the relationship and make sure whatever is important is taken care of.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to aSlavesLife)

Post #: 34

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/9/2007 4:14:36 PM

Solinear

Posts: 283
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

The question then arises that without honesty, what happens to trust?

I guess for me, it's the sub's job to trust the Master to be honest when he/she decides that it's important and when it's not important. That's not saying that I'm not honest. Quite the contrary, but I can easily see where a Master might call his sub/slave and tell them that they are going to be home in 15 minutes, then either decide that they don't want to come home right now and they're going to get some more work done, or that they feel like going to the titty bar for the next 4 hours, or that they simply need to teach the sub that the Master is not answerable to them.

Obviously, if a Master is just a lying piece of shit, then there are going to be issues, but the occasional matter of something changing or the Master changing their mind is not a subject for the sub/slave's consideration, as long as it is not something that is habitual. I believe that one leads by example, though and I couldn't use that 'lesson' myself.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 35

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/9/2007 7:35:58 PM

ardelle

Posts: 63
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

The question then arises that without honesty, what happens to trust?

Greetings

i thought about this quite a bit after thinking the response to my question. My first reaction to the statement made was also to question that to have trust, one must also have honesty. The more i thought about it though, the more i realized that this was not true. To believe that another is 'being' honest with us, we must first have trust in that person. If you trust them, you do not question their honesty towards you.

this is just the conclusion that i reached; i know that many others will disagree.

_____________________________

i wish you well

josie

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 36

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/10/2007 5:21:04 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Solinear

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

The question then arises that without honesty, what happens to trust?

I guess for me, it's the sub's job to trust the Master to be honest when he/she decides that it's important and when it's not important. That's not saying that I'm not honest. Quite the contrary, but I can easily see where a Master might call his sub/slave and tell them that they are going to be home in 15 minutes, then either decide that they don't want to come home right now and they're going to get some more work done, or that they feel like going to the titty bar for the next 4 hours, or that they simply need to teach the sub that the Master is not answerable to them.

Obviously, if a Master is just a lying piece of shit, then there are going to be issues, but the occasional matter of something changing or the Master changing their mind is not a subject for the sub/slave's consideration, as long as it is not something that is habitual. I believe that one leads by example, though and I couldn't use that 'lesson' myself.

As a mother as well as a submissive, if i was told to expect someone in about 15 minutes and they didn't arrived (regardless of who they are in relationship to me, child or Master) i would start to worry that something had happened to them, that they had been in an accident, etc. If i had been told that by the same person that they would be there eventually and not given a specific time to expect them, i would not have the same reaction.

However i would like to address the part of your post that i have specifically highlighted. Is the Master answerable to the sub/slave, no, but with that being said, if the Master/Dom repeatedly tells his/her sub/slave a direct falsehood just to prove that point, the time will come that the sub/slave will begin to doubt his/her trustworthiness in other areas, never knowing when the other person is lying again, just to prove a point and the trust needed not only to start a successful D/s relationship, but to sustain a successful D/s relationship will be broken and potentially irrevocably lost. There are other ways other than directly lying to make that point that the Master is not answerable to the sub/slave without destroying the underpinnings of the relationship. Just my opinion and experience.

(in reply to Solinear)

Post #: 37

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/10/2007 5:25:59 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

While i agree with part of your premise that one must trust to believe that the other person is being honest, what i was really addressing is the fact that trust is a fragile thing, easily broken and not easily fixed, as i stated in my last post on this thread. It would be nice if once trust is given, it is always given wisely and is never violated, but i don't know many relationships that have that outcome. i am happy for those who have never experienced a violation of trust.

(in reply to ardelle)

Post #: 38

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/10/2007 5:33:23 AM

brat4u

Posts: 18
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

Trust is the one thing a D/s relationship needs.. i have come across men saying they are Doms but that were truly just womanizing skirt chasers....They give True Doms a bad name.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 39

RE: Masters responsibilites to owned sub/slave - 1/10/2007 5:35:28 AM

ardelle

Posts: 63
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: brat4u

Trust is the one thing a D/s relationship needs.. i have come across men saying they are Doms but that were truly just womanizing skirt chasers....They give True Doms a bad name.

greetings

this is not an issue of trust though; it is an issue of the honesty of others

_____________________________

i wish you well

josie

(in reply to brat4u)

Post #: 40

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