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ownedgirlie -> RE: Doormats - Can we eliminate them? (1/7/2007 12:37:52 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: acctonthelook
quote:
ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I am proud to be my Master's doormat. I am proud to be anything he wants me to be at any given time. I enjoy when he puts his feet on me, whether to wipe them, rest them, or have them cleaned with my mouth.
this is why i don't consider myself a doormat, because the above would never happen. i would feel demoralized and totally disrespected by him. is that wrong or just different?
Before I became my Master's slave, I felt the same way. It was not that I had this innate desire to be treated like crap. In fact he does not treat me like crap at all, but treats me rather wonderfully. Coming from him (and that's the key), this is not demoralizing or disrespectful at all. It brings me to a place where I know that even though we both consider me in high regard and of high value, I can let down all emotional barriers to him so that there is nothing in between us. I am not "too good" to be anything he needs me to be, and knowing how much he does respect me gives even greater meaning to such acts. If he constantly regarded me with disdain and didn't think much of me, such acts would likely damage me emotionally. But to do these things, to me, is no different than bending over so he can whip the hell out of my ass.
Here's a great article on doormats: . thank you for this link. i cannot wait to read all the articles!
http://www.humbledfemales.com/doormat.html
So often people have their own definition of a "doormat." It's always negative. I am an intelligent, thinking, feeling human being. I am whatever my Master wants at any given time. I obey him in all things. I surrender all my will and power to him. I guess that makes me a doormat. If so, I'm the happiest doormat around.
.Owned, I have been struggling within myself whether i am submissive or slave? when i have had a Master in my life, I feel much more calm and at peace, but when i have a Dom it seems as if he's not strong enough with me in his direction and interaction. it's an ongoing struggle within and yet i'm afraid of the limits being crossed e.g. your first paragraph. it's difficult to know who we are and it takes time and sometimes you want only to be 'his' slave and yet with someone else you are only his 'submissive'.
I wouldn't spend a lot of energy trying to label yourself. I didn't know what the hell I was when my Master found me. I thought I was a slave, and then when I began learning what being a slave involved, I was afraid of being a slave. When I asked him to train me for his liking, I asked if I could be considered a submissive first, and not a slave. I did not yet know what I had in me, and what I had to give. For me, I needed someone who was far stronger than me - physically,. mentally, emotionally. I needed someone who could take over all of me. I was afraid though, because it was new to me. Fear of the unknown is quite common. The question is, does it limit you?
My fear was similar to yours. But please do not think that on day one he was putting me through all those things that were previously on a limits list. This was a slowly developing process we went through. I had not even experienced a basic spanking when we met. I had internal barriers up that NO one would be able to get through (except him, eventually). It took a very long time and lots of fearful tears to let him in my head as much as he is, and to develop such trust where anything is safe with him. To be his "doormat" did not happen overnight. And along the way, I did not lose my sense of self which I feared I would; I found my sense of self. It just took the right person.
I think the term does something to people's egos, personally. I know my potential and capabilities, as does my Master. What anyone else thinks is secondary. People use the term doormat as though it's an insult, because they think someone who surrenders completely must not have a brain. Their ignorance shows, when such utilization of the word is displayed. .Owned, it's not that i don't think you have a brain, i just don't understand why a woman needs to completely surrender all eg. being an object for him to do whatever he pleases. that part completely confuses me? when i read it or even if i feel it at times.
It was in me to surrender like this. It was my need. Why is anyone compelled to be who they are in life? This is where I am home. This is where I am safe. This is where I know NO harm will befall me in his care, because I can splay myself open like this emotionally, and I am assured time and time again how valued I am, and how appreciated I am, and what my submission does for him. This has to do with my particular connection to him. The energy that travels between us is like nothing I have experienced before. The more I give up, the more filled I become. The more barriers he broke through, the more freedom I found - to express who I am, and to simply come alive. Again, this developed over time. We grew together to reach this place. Had I offered ALL to him on day one, without a care or concern, I doubt it would have as much value as when my surrender was gradually increased over time as I came to trust and love him more and more.
I wonder, when I say I am his toilet, why it is not so offensive. .for me that would be offensive.
I used it as an example, but it is interesting how anyone can put a caffeteria style list out there and the things that people will consider offensive will differ greatly, based on who they are, what their histories are, and what their desires are at a given time. A year ago I may have found this to be offensive, too.
Or his bitch to fuck..because i like and cherish the bad girl in me
Your answer could apply to the above item. Maybe to some, being pissed on or in is cherishing the bad girl.
Or his toy or object or property. .because to be property is to feel safe, calm, guided, and it brings me pleasure in being his servant, making him happy. i just feel good when i see his pleasure in my task whether it's following a basis everyday instruction or his sexual instruction.
In your answer here, you have basically answered your question to me of why do I surrender as I do.
"Objects" don't have brains (hey a doormat is an object) yet many a slave is proud to be her Master's object. I think we are inconsitent with our criticizms here.....this is true because i even get confused as to where i fit in. i enjoy the feeling of my Master caring for me enough to even want to own me as property.
I think we all get confused sometimes, as we figure out who we are and what makes us tick. For me, my heart told me one thing while society dictated another. I am my Master's property, yes. But who's to say he doesn't care about his property? Have you ever seen an old man tending to his garden, pulling away the damaging weeds so that the bulbs beneath the soil can emerge into a bright and beautiful flower that soaks in the sun and delights in life? Sometimes personal weeding is a painful process - you are killing a life form, after all. But you are killing a destructive life form that can overwhelm the soil and prevent the beauty from developing. Different people are affected and tended to differently. Some of those debasing things I wrote above were exactly the way I needed to be weeded in certain areas. When struck with intensely difficult life struggles, I was able to reflect back and realize, "If I went through that, I can certainly handle this." These acts are not simply a surface level act - every thing I struggle through for him has greater effect and meaning somewhere. Unless of course he just wants to enjoy a foot rest because he is tired. Because of all he has taught me and given me, I am more than happy to provide whatever he wants.
For what it's worth, thank you for taking this topic seriously. While it's fun to kid around, I think it's a discussion some people might find value in.
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