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RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/6/2007 8:16:02 PM

NaiveTempest

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I have been in a similar situation and I tend to agree with what everyone wrote (except Domiguy---Smart ASS! LOL) I know everyone meant well with what they said and from my own experience I know that they're right. Being in a love triangle sucks no matter what angle or side of it you're on. But time helps and heals. Try not to be bitter, look on it as a learning/growing experience and hope next time proves to be better. I wish you and all of us who have been in that situation well and much happiness in the future.

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 21

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/6/2007 9:25:15 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

yes you are totally right, donalee i really did over generalize there...i am really sorry to any folks on here that were offended...

i was speaking specifically about a certain group...the ones that are in limbo...separated but not divorced and they are dragging their heels because they cant make up their minds...which i think is fine, but its when they bring in a partner and begin building a life with that person and that person will often get hurt because the other person has not finished their past chapters.

again though it was stupid to word it the way i did and i apologize.

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Post #: 22

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/7/2007 10:27:45 AM

sweetbelle

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Hi there... well last night i slept really good... i guess i have got some peace out of everything.. but you know have one more question...
He gave me a collar... on my birthday last year... Not to be worn... unless we play.. ( wasnt used often) anyway do i keep it.... or send it back.. he has made no mention either way...
thanks
belle

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 23

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/7/2007 10:32:17 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Keep it....

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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 24

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/7/2007 2:52:54 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I dont think it had much meaning to him other than to use during play.
Send it back- End clean

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A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 25

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/7/2007 3:04:21 PM

NaiveTempest

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Do you want to keep it? Then do so, I doubt he'll care. He probably doesn't even remember it. Or will it cause you to think about him and wish you were still with him? In that case then get rid of it. I have teddy bears from past relations (not the same as a collar I suppose, lol) but, I don't look at them and think bad thoughts or anything. Some are reminders of fond memories and others are just cute stuffed animals. What does that collar symbolize to you? It might be something to remind you not to let yourself fall into such a position again.

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 26

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/7/2007 4:10:09 PM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

When you look at it, what do you feel? Perhaps give it to a friend to keep, and then revisit the question in 6 months, if you still don't want it, have them throw it away, and if you do want it as a sentimental token, get it back.

Alternatively, perhaps you might want to do a ceremonial destruction of it......

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Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to NaiveTempest)

Post #: 27

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/7/2007 8:27:19 PM

sweetbelle

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

i look at it and get sad to be honest... not sad because its over well yes that... but mostly because of the time we spent together... ya know i heard a wonderful quote today...."Beginnings are scary... .The end is usually sad... but what counts is what happens in the middle" Y'all will laugh if i tell you where i heard it.. but it made sense... and brought a smile to my face..
So anyway going to give the collar to a friend of mine and have her hold on to it...

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 28

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/8/2007 1:49:49 AM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

*Virtual Hugs* I am interested in where you got the quote....... sesame street?

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Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 29

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/8/2007 2:06:15 AM

sweetbelle

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

ohh no, but would have been funnier... i got it from a movie i watched today.. i was in the mood for sappy sad ones.. and well "Hope Floats" with Harry Connick Jr (can i just say yum) and Sandra Bullock....last part of the movie she says it...

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 30

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/8/2007 3:09:08 AM

acctonthelook

Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

Ty for this...i needed that!

quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

Perhaps, just perhaps, when you walk away, and are looking back, INSTEAD of feeling betrayed and hurt and abandoned or played, TRY to remember how good it felt to open up to him in the first place, how awesome it was to share yourself with someone that way, to be able to let go. Take those memories, the passion, the satisfaction, and use that experience and knowledge to find your next, hopefully more innately dominant partner. Know that while it hurts to have things change or end, if you don't open up and put yourself out there, you won't feel all the GREAT things you've shared with him.

I think we as humans have a terrible tendancy to remember the END of a relationship and focus on its conclusion rather than on why we liked, loved, shared, opened up, etc. in the first place. CLEARLY he brought out something in you that was special and amazing. Do not let HIM ruin the beauty of the submission and love you have to offer.

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 31

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/8/2007 3:20:00 AM

acctonthelook

Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

Sweet,

i need to know where this quote came from...when you quote someone, you need to make reference to whom. i also need to know because i would like to use the quote myself. if you could please make reference, i'd appreciate it. could you be more specific regarding the movie "Hope Floats". did someone just say it or was it written somewhere? now i'm going to have to rent the movie to find out, LOL. *sigh*

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetbelle
ya know i heard a wonderful quote today...."Beginnings are scary... .The end is usually sad... but what counts is what happens in the middle"

Sweetbelle, i think so many subs go through what you are going through. it takes time and reaching out on the forums and writing to those you find said something important to your healing off the boards. i reach out periodically and it really helps! I too have been where you are. Still am but moving forward. I just make it a rule that if you are married, too private with your life, too busy in life, not available at certain times, then he will not work for me. I learned the hard way, yes. but i learned a valuable lesson of what works for me and what does not. i also was able to learn what to look for and when to raise the red flag with someone.

< Message edited by acctonthelook -- 1/8/2007 3:22:44 AM >

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 32

RE: Sorry still new here but - 1/8/2007 10:20:14 AM

sweetbelle

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Here is the exactly quote.... "Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will... " (Sandra Bullocks Character Birdee Pruitt)
It was said in the last few mins of the movie while the fireworks are going off and her and her daughter are walking down the street...
Sorry i didnt use the entire quote before but there it is the entire quote and where it was said :)

(in reply to acctonthelook)

Post #: 33

RE: Sorry still new here but - 5/30/2007 3:58:40 PM

sweetbelle

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Hey again everyone... yep just me!!
Anyway in case anyone was wondering what happen to me... this is it..
We parted ways, we talk on the phone on occasion but for the most part we are no longer together.
I came to a decision, it is time for me to leave hawaii. Although truely a beautiful place, i have made some dear friends. I am leaving and moving back to the mainland...
Now being as I am from the south... the biggest decision is, i am moving to Michigan... :)
Why, you may ask!!!
Because its someplace new... Although I do have friends there, so that is a huge plus. So here within the next few months I will be off to chilly? snowy? hot as all get out in the summer, Michigan!!!!
Y'all have no idea how big of a decision this was, but all that matters is I am truely happy with that..
And no, I am not moving there for a Dominant.. I am just moving there for me... :)

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 34

RE: Sorry still new here but - 5/30/2007 4:13:52 PM

LadyPaige

Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Sometimes the best relationships are found when you are not looking. When we look we tend to pick out what we want to see. I can't add anything that hasn't already been said, but I wish you luck.

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 35

RE: Sorry still new here but - 5/30/2007 7:06:02 PM

HornyToadsMI

Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

sweetbelle -
i just ran across your thread. Hope time has healed your wounds. He deserves the flogging of his life!!! You are a sweet soul, and hope things are on the up for you!

toadette

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(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 36

RE: Sorry still new here but - 5/30/2007 7:33:30 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

belle,

First a big welcome to CM. That being saiid, your story is not unlike hundreds and sometimes both ways. The axiom of take time and then take more time would have precluded what you have experienced.

Most think they are great judgers of people, until the D/s path is walked.

Settle in and good things will happen.

Good Fortune

CP

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 37

RE: Sorry still new here but - 5/30/2007 7:57:08 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

You discovered a part of who you were and that is a very intense and sometimes even confusing experience for some. You met a dom who walked you through that, at least part way, and who you thought was going to be there for you, so you let those walls down and probably felt more vulnerable and open then you have ever before in your life - the term that comes to my mind in what you experienced is emotional rape. You did nothing wrong - you followed your submissive heart but unfortunately put it in the wrong hands. You don't feel like yourself anymore because someting you identifiied with so much was literally ripped from you and in a very cruel way - it will take time to feel "like yourself" again - be kind to yourself and in time when wounds have healed over look back on it and take what was positive from it and move past it - don't let it close your heart or emotions to others, be more cautious and perhaps not as open as quickly but eventually in time someone will come along who will be what you are looking for and you'll be ready to take that leap again. Good luck in Michigan - be prepared for lots of snow in the winter!

< Message edited by velvetears -- 5/30/2007 7:59:09 PM >

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 38

RE: Sorry still new here but - 5/31/2007 11:26:08 AM

sweetbelle

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Actually i am looking forward to the snow.... yes i know a southern girl lived all her life in the south, where the first snow flake sends people into a frenzy, and the state pratical closes down..... my son asked me if i was nuts.. said nope, he said but mom if it snows there, we still have to go to school..... i laughed and said yep!!!

It will be good to break away from the old and start anew... I am pretty much, starting my life over again... and as scary as it is, it is exciting as well.
belle

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 39

RE: Sorry still new here but - 5/31/2007 5:36:15 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

You have a great attitude and sense of adventure - i wish you much success and luck in your new life - we'll be sort of neighbors - i am in NY :-) i LOVE the snow - i would hate living in Hawaii LOL

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to sweetbelle)

Post #: 40

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