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RE: Sorry still new here but - 5/31/2007 9:00:31 PM

MaamJay

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I thought demistress's post was spot on and so well put! I am pleased to see sweetbelle that you are starting a new phase in your life. Take the good with you, the new understanding of yourself that you have gained, and you will know the time when it is right to begin looking for a new Dom. Don't make the same mistake over ... but also don't let it affect you so much that you don't open up to the next person at all. Be a bit more guarded, take it a bit more slowly. That's always easier now the first frenzy is past! Good luck and let us know how you go!

Maam Jay

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RE: Sorry still new here but - 5/31/2007 9:14:41 PM

Despayre

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Joined: 5/27/2007
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Sorry , I felt compelled to add my two cents....Honestly, the guy sounds like he was only a "Dom" because he needed to feel in control during his divorce. He was probably feeling low, and found someone to put lower than himself. Now that he is free and clear, he can play as he sees fit. I have seen a few of these types since entering the lifestyle. They play with their toys til they are bored and then, suddenly they are just as vanilla as the rest of the world. (One guy told his slave he would never bow to a woman, she walked in on him ,on his knees between his new fiances legs). He may be a great guy, and a wonderful man, but I feel any Dom who can't be bothered to spend time with his sub/slave/toys/whatever isn't all that much of a Dom.

Hope you like Michigan, I know some folks up there. Some really nice places up near the border.

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RE: Sorry still new here but - 6/1/2007 2:03:47 AM

Quivver

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Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetbelle
i dropped all my walls.. and let someone in... to know me so intimately both physically and mentally.. i mean i told him everything about myself.. stuff not even my family knew..and now i just feel completly lost... he does not want to talk to me or anything...

I want you to look at this from a different angle. You dropped your walls and shared YOU .. remember the feeling of being transparent and not having to continually protect yourself. You had all that energy to use that wasnt being wasted elsewhere, nothing to hide, nothing to cover up, you found acceptance within yourself. Treasure that.

Sure, what you gave may not have been accepted in the manner given. Those gifts rarely are considering the other lives in their own little shell. What you've gotten from this is a bit of strength that now you have to acknowledge and use to better yourself.
Find that inner peace knowing you accomplished a HUGE hurdle by opening up.
Try not to see it as being played, see it as a lesson in personal growth.

Hugs..........................

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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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Post #: 43

RE: Sorry still new here but - 6/1/2007 3:52:56 AM

Areflectionofyou

Posts: 258
Joined: 4/4/2006
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unfortunately people play with others emotions...still haven't figured out why kharma doesn't get them back , but hey.... look at it as a learning experience as to what not to accept again into your life.

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Post #: 44

RE: Sorry still new here but - 6/1/2007 4:25:31 AM

watchoutfakes

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Joined: 5/31/2007
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very good point and karma does get em just maybe not in enuf time for us to see...God dont like ugly! remember that!

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RE: Sorry still new here but - 6/1/2007 4:35:06 AM

dawntreader

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Joined: 11/23/2006
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i second that!! Karma does get them back - not dependent on when we want it but at the Universe's time.

And i agree with all the encouragement and well wishes of everyone here who has offered them to you :-) Add mine!

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There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
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RE: Sorry still new here but - 6/1/2007 5:04:32 AM

ladyleopard945

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Joined: 12/17/2004
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Karma does get them back... but remember it is a double edge sword. I believe that we come into life to learn lessons...the good, bad, and ugly. What makes us better people is our ability to take these lessons and use them to be better. He will get his just leave it up to the universe...lol the last two that I delt with both came crawling back in less than a year the beauty of it is I did not take them back...... Screw me once shame on you screw me twice shame on me!

You need to do what I do myself. Mind you I am a Domme and haved the same type of experience. Hurt yes, angry yes, disallusioned yes.... has this stopped me NO...I dust myself off and go on knowing I will survive. I will avoid that type of person and will continue.

I wish you well and good luck!

MIstress Leopard

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Post #: 47

RE: Sorry still new here but - 6/1/2007 5:45:00 AM

slaveish

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Joined: 2/19/2007
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Hey belle,

My immediate thought was that this man didn't intentionally betray you. It sounds like his feelings changed. He was going through a divorce and realized he didn't want to be in another relationship that resembled a marriage.

The D/s dynamic is pretty intense. He is starting to taste freedom from his marriage and doesn't want the responsibility of another serious relationship at this time. Can't say as I blame him really, although I hate you got caught in the middle and I am sorry for your pain. At least he was honest with you about his desire to play the field instead of doing it behind your back.

Don't lock your trust away. Circumstances change, life changes, and all we can do is roll with it. Be gentle with yourself. Indulge yourself. Buy yourself presents, paint your bedroom a new color, plant a container garden. Might not be your thing at all but you get the idea. Do what ~you~ want to do and enjoy your life. Be well. I wish you the best.

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You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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Post #: 48

RE: Sorry still new here but - 6/1/2007 12:16:52 PM

sweetbelle

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Joined: 12/19/2005
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Wow, once again I really wish to think every single one of you guys for all your words of wisdom and kindness.. Sometimes it is hard to talk to others about this and it is easier to place it on a forum where there might be others that have gone through similar expierences...
Yes I am brushing myself off, and although I am moving, it is not to run away... Just time for a change and its getting really expensive to live here lol... Thank you each and everyone of you for the wonderful words.... :))

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Post #: 49