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Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 1:32:42 PM

aslaveflower

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Joined: 11/15/2006
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thank you to all who replied...lots to think about

< Message edited by aslaveflower -- 1/9/2007 2:15:13 PM >

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 1:49:28 PM

BitaTruble

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From: Texas
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With all due respect, slaveflower.. if, after 3 years, he hasn't left his wife yet.. he ain't gonna. What does he suggest you do to get your physical needs met? As far as thinking he's not sleeping with anyone else.. well .. he's married.. odds are, he's sleeping with his wife. Using the kids is a great 'excuse' to stagnant.. but what you need to decide is if the situation is enough for you .. and will what you have now continue to be enough? You're the only one who can decide that, but if you are already being disobedient to his will because you can't cope with the physical needs and he's not helping you in that matter.. how much does your submission mean to you? Are you behaving as you believe you should? Obviously, he's disappointed, but seek his guidance in helping you. You're in your prime .. don't waste it on a dream that's unrealistic. If he is as wonderful as you say he is, then he'll help you get over this hump.

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 1:53:26 PM

aslaveflower

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wow...i guess no one wants to touch this one...cant say i blame any of you...but thanks celeste for taking time to offer something....i should likely just delete this whole post

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 1:55:32 PM

Jasmyn

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From: New Zealand
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He is not a wonderful master ... a wonderful master would set you free to find a man who can be with you the way you need a man to be there ....

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 1:57:29 PM

slavejali

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You've got yourself into a no win situation, it is going to cause suffering and not only to you. I can't add anything more than what Celeste said.....

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 2:00:12 PM

MagiksSlave

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Ok your cheating on him and he is cheating on his wife... this is a good basis for a relationship.. and kids well do you have kids together or are they yours from another man? Honestly I see nothing wonderfull here.

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
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before the devil even knows your there.

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 2:07:41 PM

natasha66

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From: NJ
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Maybe its just my tolerance level, but as has been said, if He is still with His wife, He is not likely to leave....are you going to be happy being strung along like this indefinitely? If not, I would leave...and the sooner, the better.....

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Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 2:12:25 PM

onestandingstill

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The answer is He's only got the time with you that he can sneek away from his wife without getting caught.
You may think he loves you, but from what you describe you seem more like a toy he's taking off his shelf at will with no regard to your feelings or needs.
You cheating from lonliness is making you feel like crap.
It's not what you want to hear, but maybe you could be under his protection and get his permission to search for a Dom of your own that will meet your needs and not keep you as his dirty littel secret up on a shelf.
This relationship from what you describe is wrong on so many levels and for so many reasons I just can't discuss it all.
Over all the only healthy advice is give him an ultimatum. Tell him to leave her in less than three months or you're leaving as you are not getting enough time with him to meet your needs.
If he does love you insteaf of leaning on you as a convenient toy he may do something to make it better between you two.
suzanne

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 2:13:03 PM

MsOpal

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aslaveflower,
You asked us not to shoot him down because of how wonderful he is, but to give you good answers we must address his actions. You wonder if he is sleeping with anyone, he is married and whatever he says to you, you can be sure he is having sex with his wife. It has been a year since you broke your restriction and he is still useing it punish you. I am mot trying to shooot him down,but you asked for advice. Here is a man who is cheating on his wife with you, and cheating on you with his wife while he uses her as the excuse not be able to be with you full time (her or the kids). He is dishonest, disloyal and I am willing to bet you are not the only online and sometimes meeting "slave" he has, or has had. Just because he dresses this in the guise of Ds it is no more than a long distance affair with the added spice of useing the Ds you crave to keep you on a short leash while he goes 2 or 3 months without seeing you in person, while he decieves the woman he promised to love and had children with, while he threatens you because you are human. A year is long enough to get over something if he was going to get over it.

He gave you your womanhood, well tell him thank you and that you will never forget him. Then go out and celebrate your womanhood and make yourself available to find someone who will care for you and cherish you for the wonderful warm loving woman you are. Yes it is hard, but you deserve better. Yes you will hurt but you cannot heal until you take the first step. There are men who are honest and loyal and have jearts filled with love for the right woman, just like you ahve a heart filled with love for the right man. Perhaps he gave you somethign you needed in the beginning, but now you need to stand on your own and let others see who you are.
Be well, be strong, and you will be the woman you want to be.
MsOpal

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 2:13:10 PM

MASTERRocker

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From: Kitchener-Waterloo, ON
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This is a very unfortunate situation - but one that was created more out of need, than want.
He is still married - and I assume he has not been truthful to her???
You have been truthful - although it has hurt both of you in areas of trust and respect.....
My question is this...... Would he ever leave his marriage - and at what cost are you willing to stay..........?
Distance is always a very, very difficult thing to nurture and maintain in any type of relationship.
Be well
MASTER Rocker

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MASTER Rocker
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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 2:21:59 PM

aslaveflower

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i appreciate everyone's advice...i know that i have so much to learn ...so much to try and figure out...its so hard to see things clearly when you love someone...when you have given your heart them as only a slave can to her Master....when you just feel so broken and vulnerable...yet i am one of the strongest women i know and this has been one of the hardest things to deal with...such is life...

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 2:23:35 PM

GrizzlyBear

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Is it not your lot in life as a slave, to suffer for your Master? If so, you have a perfect chance here. A Master who is a married man, who is playing you and won't leave his wife for you, yet insists that you remain faithful to him and punishes you when you don't. Sounds like a perfect recipe for suffering to me. You should thank him for giving you such a perfect opportunity to show him how much you can suffer for him!

Or if a lifetime of suffering emotionally is not what you had in mind you can leave. You aren't likely to change him, I can assure you of that.

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GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 2:24:20 PM

Fawne

Posts: 462
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Sincerely feeling for you...

I know the pain of loss, distance and confusion.

No one can judge... maybe a wonderful man can be as selfish to have a wife (who I assume is unaware of you) a slave who loves him, and as you said: may have a little bit more sugar on the side. ..and he blames you?

Peace and harmony, truly.

May I ask? You said "we" have children. Do you mean together? Or ?

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 2:33:12 PM

aslaveflower

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Thank-you Fawne...each of us have children..separately...
i am no longer in my marriage....where as He is....

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 2:47:17 PM

swtnsparkling

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You say you have been his slave for 3+ years. Well in my mind whether your sub or slave you have committed to the relationship all of the relationship- the good the bad the happy and the lonesome moments.

Some times you dont see him for 2 or 3 months and because your horny and lonseome you go out and sleep with some one. Where is the loyalty- commitment to your master?

Unless a persons heart, soul, & whole being are behind a commitment They make. Their words are empty/ meaningless.

Too much of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who give it too often and to easily. Your word is precious and represents the type of person you are.

How long are you going to waste your time? years are passing by . Why are you with some one who is never going to make you a priority in their life? and some one who is not a priority in yours

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 1/9/2007 2:54:03 PM >

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 3:06:26 PM

MasterFireMaam

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I have no idea what your post was about since you took it away (I wonder why?)...but...

Pain is inevitable...suffering is optional.

Master Fire

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 3:15:32 PM

aslaveflower

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i took it away after receiving a few posts ...knowing the only people who can resolve it...are myself and my Master...sometimes it just helps to hear others' perspectives...becasue i admit, i dont always see things i should or see things clearly as one who is objective often can...
In addition i am not proud of how the relationship between Master and i began...but i do not regret it either...i just felt i would be judged because He is a married man....though for the most part...people in here have been pretty decent with thier advice.

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 4:35:34 PM

slavegirljoy

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Since your original post is no longer there, i don't really know what your specific question was. But, from reading the responses you have recieved, it sounds like you are involved with a married man and that you are having a difficult time dealing with the long periods of time that you aren't with him and the painful realization that He is probably not going to leave His wife for you.

It seems to me that, even though you call Him "Master", He is really just a cheating husband who likes to play Master when He visits you. He broke the vow He made with His wife (unless, of course, they have an open marriage and she's OK with her husband having extramarital affairs but, it doesn't sound like that's the case). And it sounds like He is not giving you the life that you need to feel complete and content, otherwise you wouldn't be suffering and in need of advice. He must have some qualities that drew you to Him and that make you feel torn inside about whether to end the relationship with Him or not (i'm guessing this from what i have read).

Ask any Master and He will tell you, that a Master cares for the welfare of His property, including His slave(s) every bit as much as He cares for His own welfare because He values His slave and what she adds to His life. It sounds to me like your Master is not looking out for anyone's welfare, other than His own.

A slave may be property but, she is a valuable property and she is also a person with needs of her own. Just because you are a slave doesn't mean that you must suffer for your Master or anyone else. Just because you are a slave doesn't mean that you don't have any rights. You have the right to be treated with fairness and honesty and respect. You have the right to have your personal needs met and you have the right to feel content with your life. It doesn't sound like you are content or that your needs are being met or that He is being really honest with you or treating you fairly.

Anyway, i think you are asking the wrong people what you should do. You need to ask yourself what you need to do for your own sake to live the life you deserve. You probably already have the answer and it might be a little scary to think about because it means either living with things the way they are (and that means continuing to suffer) or giving up on a man and a dream that you have put so much time and emotion into and starting over with someone else. Change is scary but, it's worth it in the end when you finally find what you need to live your life to its fullest.

Best wishes to you in whatever you decide to do.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 4:57:28 PM

aslaveflower

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quote:

You probably already have the answer and it might be a little scary to think about because it means either living with things the way they are (and that means continuing to suffer) or giving up on a man and a dream that you have put so much time and emotion into and starting over with someone else. Change is scary

Yes..i have known my options for some time...but that is just it, i am obstinate in the things i want, the dreams i have and i have not wanted to give up on the dream i have...being with my Master whom i love to my core.
But..am i suffering?...yes...do i want to? ....no....its just not easy to walk away though when you know His love is real and when you have faith to beleive it can work out.
Yes...change is scary, though i have faced it before.

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RE: Suffering here...In need of advice - 1/9/2007 8:54:40 PM

Argentopal

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From: Central Texas / Hill Country
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aslaveflower ... I want to hug you and then look you in the eye and say to you .... No, his love for you is not real. I think you really do know that yourself, deep down inside. You do not have to give up on the dream of finding someone worthy of your submission. Just know that this is not that man. You may love him adn you admit you are not proud of how this relationship began. Then let go and move on. Regain your own pride and make your own life better, for your sake and your own child's sake. You can be with someone who will appreciate you and honestly love you.
You say you are strong, be strong now.
MsOpal

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