Is sex a requirement?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Is sex a requirement?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is sex a requirement?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 4:07:37 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

Is sex really a neccesary part of BDSM? as a submissive, i'm born to serve in most any capacity as requested. but are subs really expected to serve in the bedroom?

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 4:14:10 PM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Many many BDSM relationships are sexless ones.
It depends on the individual relationship and preferences of the person.
Hell there's a girl in my local dungeon that's been a sub over 2 years that's a stone virgin.
Now do most BDSM relationships have sex involved on average in my mind would be a different question.
My answer to that would be yes in most I've seen except not usually in Daddy Dom or Dommes into chastity's relationships but even then sometimes the answer is yes.
I also know couples that are oral and intercourse monogamous, but they do play with others.
There's no real right or wrong answer.
It's more a situation of trying to find a partner that shares your particular path and view.
suzanne

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 4:14:22 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

androgyny is not going to be in the checkboxes on this site. That's the way I'm betting at any rate.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 4:19:16 PM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

Not all subs serve in the bedroom. Many, but not all. Communibation is key, as in all aspects of BDSM. It is important that all parties agree on whether sex will or needs to be involved. For some, it is imperative and for others, it is not allowed.
In my particular case, I am not allowed to have sex with my play partners, though some of our play is sexual in nature. My husband and I worked with my play partners coming up with rules/guidelines for what would be appropriate vs. off limits, etc. With my brat, there isn't really anything sexual about our relationship. I wouldn't want her to serve me sexually, even if it was allowed within our parameters. With my Master and sisterslave, we have a sexually charged relationship, despite there not actually being sex involved. We revisit such things from time to time, so it is possible things could shift in the future to allow a more explicit sexual relationship, but we are comfortable where we are at the moment.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 4:22:38 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Depends- Some yes - some no
I have been submissive in both types of relationships.
with sex and with out
I was very happy in both

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 4:26:22 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia
Is sex really a neccesary part of BDSM? as a submissive, i'm born to serve in most any capacity as requested. but are subs really expected to serve in the bedroom?

The answer to your question is no, sex is not necessary in a D/s or BDSM relationship. Sex is necessary in mine because I seek someone with whom to relate on all levels inside and outside of the bedroom. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 4:32:12 PM

Wildflowers59

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/28/2006
Status: offline

Doesn't have to be a requirement, just depends on the people you are involved in.......There can be sexual overtones but sex does not have to be a requirement....I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years and have not had sexual intercourse with the Dom, its both of our hard limits........so there is my answer........take care and be safe.....

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 4:33:42 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

There are Daddy Dom adult little girl relationships who do include sex.

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

Now do most BDSM relationships have sex involved on average in my mind would be a different question.
My answer to that would be yes in most I've seen except not usually in Daddy Dom

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 4:36:46 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

In my relationship, since he's a life partner, as well as my daddy dom, and I am a very sensual being who's rediscovering her sex drive, yes sex is required and is a nessisary part of bdsm.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 5:07:33 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

Is sex really a neccesary part of BDSM? as a submissive, i'm born to serve in most any capacity as requested. but are subs really expected to serve in the bedroom?

They are by some, not by others. Since I'm open to service from all genders and sexes, it's not a requirement. I have plenty of vanilla people I can date (and do) for sex if I want it.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 5:11:29 PM

Caitriona

Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

As with so many other things, it all depends on who you ask. I do not feel it is a requirement, but with My Lord it's a nice bonus. ;)

_____________________________

Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 5:14:40 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

My answer to that would be yes in most I've seen except not usually in Daddy Dom or Dommes into chastity's relationships but even then sometimes the answer is yes.

I am really very curious by what you mean when you say "Daddy Dom" relationships and why you believe these are devoid of sex most of the time. I have a Daddy Dom, he and I have a very sexual relationship, albeit we do no age play.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 5:14:42 PM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

There are Daddy Dom adult little girl relationships who do include sex

i personally have never known a Daddy/girl relationship that did not involve sex....but many that did not involve BD SM.

DG

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 5:17:53 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Sex is not a requirement for me in relationship to an owner.

Sexuality is a requirement for me in my life.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 5:18:56 PM

bbwdommelilith

Posts: 81
Joined: 10/25/2006
Status: offline

It certainly isn't "necessary" (although it would be to me). We (and you) make your own rules.

Lilith

"When you look into the abyss, the abyss looks into you."

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 5:18:59 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

Is sex really a neccesary part of BDSM? as a submissive, i'm born to serve in most any capacity as requested. but are subs really expected to serve in the bedroom?

It depends on who you ask. For some, it is an important part of the BDSM play, for others it is not required at all. Many D/s relationships exist without either the sex or much BDSM either. Everyone is different. For myself, I see sadism and masochism as having sexual elements. I can do either bondage or discipline without there being sexual elements but that isn't always the way I do it. You have to explore and find what part of it fits you.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 5:19:07 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I am really very curious by what you mean when you say "Daddy Dom" relationships and why you believe these are devoid of sex most of the time. I have a Daddy Dom, he and I have a very sexual relationship, albeit we do no age play.

Some age play relationships don't go towards sexual because it would be too incestuous or it just isn't part of the energy they have together.

I don't think it's the majority though.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 5:48:55 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Not to sound to horrible...but I am a very sexual person...Someone that I would choose to have this intimate of a relationship with I would imagine that sex would be part of the package.

A little taste of vanilla as a reminder of a guy's stand on sex...

Billy Crystal (Harry):Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Meg Ryan (Sally): So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Billy Crystal (Harry): No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 5:52:56 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

What is necessary in any relationship depends on the participants. Sex is not necessary in my relationship with Angel, however I have been in others where it was. Ive had a gay male slave for a while, where sex wasnt only not necessary, it was simply not an option.
It all depends on the people incolved and how the relationship grows between them.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to domiguy)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Is sex a requirement? - 1/9/2007 6:01:18 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

Is sex really a neccesary part of BDSM? as a submissive, i'm born to serve in most any capacity as requested. but are subs really expected to serve in the bedroom?

It's a well known problem that poor unsuspecting male subs are constantly propositioned by Dommes demanding sex, SM play, and to fulfill his fantasies only while refusing anything in return these poor unsuspecting male subs. Because of the shortage of males interested in such things, the males that do express any interest in things kinky are so harassed by lines of Dommes demanding sex to the point where many poor unsuspecting male subs leave the lifestyle to become monks in Pennsylvania.

O the humanity.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Profile

Post #: 20