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RE: Q: How many does it take to change a light bulb? - 1/15/2007 7:48:06 AM   
dyna


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one,she holds on to it,and the world revolves around her.

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Q: How many does it take to change a light bulb? - 1/15/2007 9:54:43 PM   
katzschen


Posts: 385
Joined: 11/10/2006
From: Greenville, SC
Status: offline 		Q: How many paranoid people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: WHO WANTS TO KNOW?!
A2: None, if they touch the lightbulb, it will shatter into a million pieces and injure them while the electricity fries them and kills them.
A3: None, the lightbulb is out to get them.
A4: None, they can hide from the CIA and the return of the alien fleet better in the dark.

_____________________________

We need longer signatures. What I wanted to say wouldn't fit.

(in reply to dyna)
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RE: Q: How many does it take to change a light bulb? - 1/16/2007 5:21:52 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
 
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
 
Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.
on.
 
Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
 
Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
 
Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness.
 
Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
 
Q: How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
 
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
 

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to dyna)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Q: How many does it take to change a light bulb? - 1/16/2007 9:01:45 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hillarious..haven't read some of those before!

Ross

Designermite:
http://www.cafepress.com/designermite

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Q: How many does it take to change a light bulb? - 1/16/2007 9:08:05 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline





How many does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, that depends on what church someone goes to




Charismatics
67
Hands already in the air

Pentecostal
1213
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness

Presbyterians
-0-
Lights will go on and off at predestined times

Roman Catholic
-0-

Candles only

Baptists
at least 15
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad

Episcopalians
3637

One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons
4243

One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians
?

We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.  However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine.  You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incadescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists
Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved.  You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.  Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday.  Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene
6061

One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans
None

Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish
?

What's a light bulb?
Ross

Designermite:
http://www.cafepress.com/designermite

(in reply to dyna)
Profile   Post #: 25
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