Pain Slut?

Pain Slut? (Full Version)

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whisperedsighs -> Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 1:11:34 PM)
Okay. In the process of interviewing Dominants and being interviewed, I often get asked the question. Are you a pain slut? I don't know how to answer that really. I mean what a pain slut is to one person is not what another considers a pain slut. In a discussion with some friends we came up with a couple possible definitions of what a pain slut is. 1. Someone who can take an extreme amount of pain, has a high pain threshold. 2. Someone who gets off, or orgasms from recieving pain without any other sexual stimulation. 3. Someone who does pain play with many sadists. What is a pain slut? And how do you answer that question when it is asked?

badpaliden -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 1:18:39 PM)
Mostly as I was to understand it, a painslut is one who enjoys their pain, and seeks it at every chance. That they ENJOY the pain, in all of its many aspects. That it was a slang/cutsie way od calling them selfs a masocist.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 1:21:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs Okay. In the process of interviewing Dominants and being interviewed, I often get asked the question. Are you a pain slut? I don't know how to answer that really. I mean what a pain slut is to one person is not what another considers a pain slut. In a discussion with some friends we came up with a couple possible definitions of what a pain slut is. 1. Someone who can take an extreme amount of pain, has a high pain threshold. 2. Someone who gets off, or orgasms from recieving pain without any other sexual stimulation. 3. Someone who does pain play with many sadists. What is a pain slut? And how do you answer that question when it is asked? My answer would be "someone who craves and directly enjoys a relatively high and extreme measure of physical pain on a regular basis"

mstrjx -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 1:21:52 PM)
Well, it's the ol' 'label' thing again. I take the phrase a little more literally, but backwards. To me, 'slut' is someone who has no trouble expressing their own sexual enjoyment. In our society, a 'slut' is looked down upon because we are judged by higher moral standards. Fie on that, I say. So, a pain slut is someone who really gets off during painful (play) acts. Hitting your head on a board doesn't qualify, but 6 (or 60) of the best, as the British might say, gets him or her hard or squishy, as the case might be. Jeff

MsOpal -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 1:47:07 PM)
Hi, I don't think it has to be "a regular basis" ~ I mean sometimes short of breaking a leg or putting my arm on the oven door, there isn't always a bunch of pain play all the time here. And I hate it when I end up in the ER! I know I have a high pain tolerance. I know at times I crave pain for its own sake. I can orgasm from some pain with no sexual stimulation. But I do not play as a bottom to "many different sadists", normally only one. Yet I hesitate to call myself a pain slut for fear I will meet someone who can find my real limits! MsOpal

CreativeDominant -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 1:50:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs Okay. In the process of interviewing Dominants and being interviewed, I often get asked the question. Are you a pain slut? I don't know how to answer that really. I mean what a pain slut is to one person is not what another considers a pain slut. In a discussion with some friends we came up with a couple possible definitions of what a pain slut is. 1. Someone who can take an extreme amount of pain, has a high pain threshold. 2. Someone who gets off, or orgasms from recieving pain without any other sexual stimulation. 3. Someone who does pain play with many sadists. What is a pain slut? And how do you answer that question when it is asked? My opinion is extremely close to others expressed on here. A slut is a person who enjoys their own sexuality and enjoys indulging it. The term is generally reserved for women though every once in awhile I have heard guys referred to...generally by women...as sluts. They are looked down on by many who love to judge others' sexual behavior and mores and who feel that they hew more closely to a societally acceptable line. As mstrjx said so eloquently, fie on that. I'll put it a bit more bluntly...B.S.. I like sluts. I love the idea of a submissive woman who is a "slut" and who puts that "slutty" behavior under my control. Woooooooooooo...hoooooooooooooo!!!! So, given the definition of slut, then I would also say that a pain slut is someone who enjoys pain in a sexual manner. I personally don't think it has to necessarily be a high threshold type of response, though it can be. Example...if you have someone who enjoys a moderate flogging for 8 hours, I would tend to classify that person as a pain slut, the same as the person who enjoys severe flogging for an hour or two....every day...and twice on Sundays. I suppose the question could get trickier...what if you have a person who states that they love pain, all their reactions to the pain given would seem to indicate enjoyment, their mental facilities become "impaired" much in the same way that those experiencing "subspace' do and yet...there is no discernible sexual reaction? No erection or wet vaginal tissues? No orgasm from the pain alone? Are they still a pain slut...or just a good actor...or something else?

whisperedsighs -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 1:55:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsOpal . Yet I hesitate to call myself a pain slut for fear I will meet someone who can find my real limits! MsOpal That is my fear in answering the question when asked!

whisperedsighs -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 1:57:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant I suppose the question could get trickier...what if you have a person who states that they love pain, all their reactions to the pain given would seem to indicate enjoyment, their mental facilities become "impaired" much in the same way that those experiencing "subspace' do and yet...there is no discernible sexual reaction? No erection or wet vaginal tissues? No orgasm from the pain alone? Are they still a pain slut...or just a good actor...or something else? I would say that person is a pain slut myself.

JohnWarren -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 1:58:34 PM)
This is a perfect example of why I consistently rage about people insisting on shorthand. The term "pain slut" may be perfectly acceptable for casual conversation or for talking about an individual, but it is certainly not useful, without further expansion, for negotiation about potential play. People need to talk specifically and in detail about what they like or what they want if they plan to play. Relying on catch phrases is simply dangerous. In my experience in the Scene, the vast majority of situations where something "went south" was because the people involved assumed they knew what the other wanted or was asking for without getting enough details. A person punctuates a negotation with a lot of "what do you mean by that" or risks serious consequences.

whisperedsighs -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 2:16:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren This is a perfect example of why I consistently rage about people insisting on shorthand. The term "pain slut" may be perfectly acceptable for casual conversation or for talking about an individual, but it is certainly not useful, without further expansion, for negotiation about potential play. People need to talk specifically and in detail about what they like or what they want if they plan to play. Relying on catch phrases is simply dangerous. In my experience in the Scene, the vast majority of situations where something "went south" was because the people involved assumed they knew what the other wanted or was asking for without getting enough details. A person punctuates a negotation with a lot of "what do you mean by that" or risks serious consequences. Typical way this ends up going...... D: Are you a pain slut? m: What do you mean by pain slut? D: Someone who can take a lot of pain. m: What do you mean by a lot? .......

dreamkurn -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 3:24:51 PM)
is question being asked in a freindly manner or in a somewhat creepy i'm going to keep you in a box under my bed and amputate your limbs kind of way?

mstrjx -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 3:32:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dreamkurn is question being asked in a freindly manner or in a somewhat creepy i'm going to keep you in a box under my bed and amputate your limbs kind of way? I don't know. That sounds kinda hot, too.

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 3:35:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs quote: ORIGINAL: MsOpal . Yet I hesitate to call myself a pain slut for fear I will meet someone who can find my real limits! MsOpal That is my fear in answering the question when asked! I usually tell them I am a mild to moderate masochist....which I suppose is still open to interpretation but at least it gives them a little better understanding of where I see myself on the pain play enjoyment scale.

ardelle -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 3:43:06 PM)
greetings i have often found that when answering questions such as this, it often helps to tell the other person simply 'i don't know' that should then open up the discussion for exactly what you can and can not do, and more importantly, it will stress the fact that everyone is different and that you react to pain differently with different people.

alandraofMists -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 4:22:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs What is a pain slut? And how do you answer that question when it is asked? As with any label that one uses in any aspect of life... it is open to the interpretation of each individual person that hears it. i do not consider myself a pain slut, and i feel very uncomfortable with that label being applied to me after play. A lot of people call me a pain slut and look at me shaking their head when i disagree and try to explain that to me it is not the pain i enjoy but the sensation i feel during the play itself. My definition of a pain slut is someone that enjoys pain in all forms of play. it is not the play or sensation that they enjoy... it is the pain itself that they enjoy. for myself there is some sensations that i hate and do not enjoy, so i see myself as more of a sensationalist then a pain slut even if my sensations are more extreme then others. Knight's alandra

Fawne -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 4:37:22 PM)
hi whisperedsighs You now have many excellent answers. Now you need to find out your own answer. Weird, obtuse statement? Nope. You do know the answer. It is "I don't know". Please choose someone who can respect that you are not looking to find out allinonenight, because you need to be able to trust, be and feel safe and have time to process all of your feelings. There is nothing wrong with not knowing all the answers and inner riddles inside you. That's why they say "it is a journey". Good luck and have fun!

BeltHerr -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 4:44:18 PM)
Thoughtful replies here. Especially valuable was that of Knoght's alandra who makes a distinction between those that ride high on strong sensation as part of scene play (of which pain is just a choice example), and those that just love pain itself. I think there ARE those that love pain itself, without reference to any human interaction, even from a machine. You can tell: those who want pain-sensation as part of a scene are drawn closer to the Dom/me who gives it; those who love pure pain don't care where it comes from. I make no value judgment here. As to the definition itself, I think 'painslut' merely denotes a sub who likes pain, or tolerates pain as part of interaction...as opposed to sex slaves, service slaves, toilet slaves, rubber slaves. and so forth. Within the 'painslut' group are many gradations: mild, moderate, extreme, et cetera.

Amaros -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 4:51:47 PM)
Pain triggers endomorphins, which are also released during sexual activity - not hard to see how pain can become addictive, and/or associated with sex - endomorphin receptors are the same receptors that are keyed by heroin, and the reason heroin is so addictive. It's conjectured that a lot of athletes are endomorphin junkies, weightlifters, long distance runners, etc. In any case, the distinction between endomorphin release through extreme stimulus or everstimulus, and crossing the line into trauma needs to be understood by the dominant party. I believe there is a psychological aspect to the administration of pain, that may be related, or may be an entirely seperate thing: something similar to Stockholm syndrome for instance may well be at work on some level in the power exchange relationship, bondage, etc., and that may involve seretonin levels and operate on another level entirely. One or both of these reactions may also be at work in objectification/humiliation play, or even another process entirely, but what does seem clear is that there is some psycho/physiological "reward" involved for the bottom, and it's not necesarily indicative of "low self esteem" or some other psychological issue. In any case, it might be easy to mistake these hormonal responses for a purely psychological "need" for abuse in a less discerning individual, and thus a diminished ability to "read" the responses of the bottom and go too far, i.e., overindulging sadistic compulsions over the line and into abuse - it certainly happens pretty frequently in Vanilla power exchange relationships that cross into dysfuntion, although I think it probobly something more experienced doms develop a more finely tuned "feel" for. I hope this helps you guide your inquiries more effectively.

whisperedsighs -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 5:14:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ardelle greetings i have often found that when answering questions such as this, it often helps to tell the other person simply 'i don't know' that should then open up the discussion for exactly what you can and can not do, and more importantly, it will stress the fact that everyone is different and that you react to pain differently with different people. Yes I agree

whisperedsighs -> RE: Pain Slut? (1/11/2007 5:18:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Amaros Pain triggers endomorphins, which are also released during sexual activity - not hard to see how pain can become addictive, and/or associated with sex - endomorphin receptors are the same receptors that are keyed by heroin, and the reason heroin is so addictive. It's conjectured that a lot of athletes are endomorphin junkies, weightlifters, long distance runners, etc. In any case, the distinction between endomorphin release through extreme stimulus or everstimulus, and crossing the line into trauma needs to be understood by the dominant party. I believe there is a psychological aspect to the administration of pain, that may be related, or may be an entirely seperate thing: something similar to Stockholm syndrome for instance may well be at work on some level in the power exchange relationship, bondage, etc., and that may involve seretonin levels and operate on another level entirely. One or both of these reactions may also be at work in objectification/humiliation play, or even another process entirely, but what does seem clear is that there is some psycho/physiological "reward" involved for the bottom, and it's not necesarily indicative of "low self esteem" or some other psychological issue. In any case, it might be easy to mistake these hormonal responses for a purely psychological "need" for abuse in a less discerning individual, and thus a diminished ability to "read" the responses of the bottom and go too far, i.e., overindulging sadistic compulsions over the line and into abuse - it certainly happens pretty frequently in Vanilla power exchange relationships that cross into dysfuntion, although I think it probobly something more experienced doms develop a more finely tuned "feel" for. I hope this helps you guide your inquiries more effectively. You mean endorphins don't you?

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