quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

Okay.  In the process of interviewing Dominants and being interviewed, I often get asked the question.  Are you a pain slut? 

I don't know how to answer that really.  I mean what a pain slut is to one person is not what another considers a pain slut.

In a discussion with some friends we came up with a couple possible definitions of what a pain slut is.

1.  Someone who can take an extreme amount of pain, has a high pain threshold.

2.  Someone who gets off, or orgasms from recieving pain without any other sexual stimulation.

3.  Someone who does pain play with many sadists.

What is a pain slut?  And how do you answer that question when it is asked?

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

Okay. In the process of interviewing Dominants and being interviewed, I often get asked the question. Are you a pain slut?

I don't know how to answer that really. I mean what a pain slut is to one person is not what another considers a pain slut.

In a discussion with some friends we came up with a couple possible definitions of what a pain slut is.

1. Someone who can take an extreme amount of pain, has a high pain threshold.

2. Someone who gets off, or orgasms from recieving pain without any other sexual stimulation.

3. Someone who does pain play with many sadists.

What is a pain slut? And how do you answer that question when it is asked?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsOpal
.

Yet I hesitate to call myself a pain slut for fear I will meet someone who can find my real limits!
MsOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant


I suppose the question could get trickier...what if you have a person who states that they love pain, all their reactions to the pain given would seem to indicate enjoyment, their mental facilities become "impaired" much in the same way that those experiencing "subspace' do and yet...there is no discernible sexual reaction? No erection or wet vaginal tissues? No orgasm from the pain alone? Are they still a pain slut...or just a good actor...or something else?

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

This is a perfect example of why I consistently rage about people insisting on shorthand.

The term "pain slut" may be perfectly acceptable for casual conversation or for talking about an individual, but it is certainly not useful, without further expansion, for negotiation about potential play.

People need to talk specifically and in detail about what they like or what they want if they plan to play.  Relying on catch phrases is simply dangerous.

In my experience in the Scene, the vast majority of situations where something "went south" was because the people involved assumed they knew what the other wanted or was asking for without getting enough details.

A person punctuates a negotation with a lot of "what do you mean by that" or risks serious consequences.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamkurn

is question being asked in a
freindly manner or in a somewhat creepy i'm going to keep you in a box under my bed and amputate your limbs kind of way?

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsOpal
.

Yet I hesitate to call myself a pain slut for fear I will meet someone who can find my real limits!
MsOpal

That is my fear in answering the question when asked!

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

What is a pain slut?  And how do you answer that question when it is asked?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ardelle

greetings
 
i have often found that when answering questions such as this, it often helps to tell the other person simply 'i don't know'
 
that should then open up the discussion for exactly what you can and can not do, and more importantly, it will stress the fact that everyone is different and that you react to pain differently with different people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

Pain triggers endomorphins, which are also released during sexual activity - not hard to see how pain can become addictive, and/or associated with sex - endomorphin receptors are the same receptors that are keyed by heroin, and the reason heroin is so addictive. It's conjectured that a lot of athletes are endomorphin junkies, weightlifters, long distance runners, etc.

In any case, the distinction between endomorphin release through extreme stimulus or everstimulus, and crossing the line into trauma needs to be understood by the dominant party.

I believe there is a psychological aspect to the administration of pain, that may be related, or may be an entirely seperate thing: something similar to Stockholm syndrome for instance may well be at work on some level in the power exchange relationship, bondage, etc., and that may involve seretonin levels and operate on another level entirely.

One or both of these reactions may also be at work in objectification/humiliation play, or even another process entirely, but what does seem clear is that there is some psycho/physiological "reward" involved for the bottom, and it's not necesarily indicative of "low self esteem" or some other psychological issue.

In any case, it might be easy to mistake these hormonal responses for a purely psychological "need" for abuse in a less discerning individual, and thus a diminished ability to "read" the responses of the bottom and go too far, i.e., overindulging sadistic compulsions over the line and into abuse - it certainly happens pretty frequently in Vanilla power exchange relationships that cross into dysfuntion, although I think it probobly something more experienced doms develop a more finely tuned "feel" for.

I hope this helps you guide your inquiries more effectively.