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I MISS HIM! - 1/11/2007 2:58:38 PM   
wonderlust


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		im not sure what to write But i need to vent alittle .Im not gonna name names but My Master had to stop the lifestyle for health reasons .And there isnt a day that goes by that i dont thnk Of Him and miss him dearly.i  still  feel such a strong closeness to Him still and I cant even fathom having another master.I guess i somehow need closure from Him So i can go on .But just in case Master you do come back please  let me know .i'm still here loving and missing you.  Wonderlust
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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/11/2007 3:07:12 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		How very sad for both you and Him. Here's hoping his health improves and the two of you are able to resume your life together.

Although I must ask...health can limit a great deal of what we do...but why did he feel compelled to release you?

(Just curious and being nosy).

quote:

ORIGINAL: wonderlust

im not sure what to write But i need to vent alittle .Im not gonna name names but My Master had to stop the lifestyle for health reasons .And there isnt a day that goes by that i dont thnk Of Him and miss him dearly.i still feel such a strong closeness to Him still and I cant even fathom having another master.I guess i somehow need closure from Him So i can go on .But just in case Master you do come back please let me know .i'm still here loving and missing you. Wonderlust

(in reply to wonderlust)
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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/11/2007 3:14:32 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wonderlust

im not sure what to write But i need to vent alittle .Im not gonna name names but My Master had to stop the lifestyle for health reasons .And there isnt a day that goes by that i dont thnk Of Him and miss him dearly.i  still  feel such a strong closeness to Him still and I cant even fathom having another master.I guess i somehow need closure from Him So i can go on .But just in case Master you do come back please  let me know .i'm still here loving and missing you.  Wonderlust

 
Listen to the song by Reba McEntire "He Broke Your Memory Last Night ":)  That's how it goes :)
 
[ Reba McEntire Lyrics ]
He Broke Your Memory Last Night

Like a rare piece of crystal
Like a fine china cup
I kept your memory all safely locked up
Afraid I could never love somebody new
I was trying to save what I had left of you

Then he broke your memory last night
I felt it shatter inside
I guess he held me a little to right
He broke your memory last night

The moment he touched me with his gentle hand
Your memory crumbled like a house built on sand
He sweep all the pieces of your love away
And then he gave me his love to put in his place

'Cause he broke your memory last night
I felt it shatter inside
I guess he held me a little to right
He broke your memory last night
He broke your memory last night

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/11/2007 3:14:52 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		missing people gets easier as time goes on

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i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/11/2007 7:50:48 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I am sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time..But I feel you may need to find closure within yourself, for to wait for such could have you waiting forever..and really, what is closure?..because it ended not the way we wished? because it ended at all? because we did not get the answers we wanted?..whatever closure entails...sometimes we just simply do not receive it..My best advice is to mourn the loss in whatever way you choose. Then get on with your life..for it always goes on wether you will it to or not..and please do not deify him in your mind..that only sets you up for never opening up to another...Tempting

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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/11/2007 8:10:32 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

missing people gets easier as time goes on


Psychology Today had an article a few months ago about memory of people.

It compared people's "presence" in your mind to a computer program running on an operating system.  The person may be physically gone from your life, but the (software?) object representation in your head is still running.

I dont know if it gets easier.  What helps for me is to remember that the relationship I mourned existed in a contextual shell.  For example, my girlfriend in high school and college was one of the most beloved women in my life.  However, that relationship existed within a context of punk rock, dancing, her working on her PhD, me working on college, etc., etc.

I contacted her a few years ago.  While I considered trying to rekindle it, I realized that what we had was wonderful, but it was in the past.  Neither of us are the same people we were back then.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/12/2007 10:47:43 AM   
wonderlust


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		He not only left me but he left The lifestyle and CM.He also left everything he did online. His psyical health made it hard for him to do alot of things and his pride has made him want to wait hopefully until he is strong enough to come back.

< Message edited by wonderlust -- 1/12/2007 10:57:30 AM >

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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/12/2007 4:35:36 PM   
akbarbarian


Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline 		If you're distance still, why not just pick up the phone with you is he hospitalized?

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United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/13/2007 12:00:21 AM   
slavesrs


Posts: 26
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline
To The Op,
 
Reading your post has me recaloling memories of my last Master. He too had health issues however He is no longer here " May He rest is peace." It will not be a walk in the park as losing someone you love is never easy nor will it ever be easy. Perhaps you should think deeper into it. You say  he has given up the lifestyle and released you correct? ... perhaps He was doing it for your own good. Some Masters are like that you know. Also, He may not have to be the one to bring closure to you , you may have to do so for yourself.


_____________________________



SRS

" The Road To Hell Was Paved With Good Intentions."

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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/13/2007 1:07:49 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		lotus,

nicely put!

CP

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/13/2007 1:23:39 PM   
pinkpet


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline 		I am sorry to hear about your loss, just remember you're not alone in your feelings. Many other people have lost people in their lives, they hold dear. I do hope he gets better.

Even though you and he were in a master/slave or submissive relationship, maybe in time you both can move into a place where solid friendship can grow, that does not involve bdsm but is still fulfilling.

Again, I am truely sorry that you have to experience this pain.


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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/13/2007 7:36:55 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Dear WL,

My heart goes out to you.  I am so sorry that you are feeling so much sadness.  I hope that it eases as the days go by.

The lyrics that Lotus put up were truly something...  so painful, yet so true.

~ Red

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/15/2007 2:36:22 PM   
wonderlust


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		Thank You all for your kind words and sentiments. Yours Sincerley ,Wonderlust

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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/15/2007 6:03:33 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		Reading the OP, and all the responses sure brought back memories, some that make me incredibly sad, others reminding me of the joy that is possible when the stars all line up right and that special person comes into our lives.  i went through something very similar about 5 years ago, and yes, there are days that i still miss him -- his voice, his touch, his wisdom and humor and the joy of knowing someone loved me as much as he did, even during those times i didn't feel very lovable.  Yes, time does help, talking helps, crying and anger helped in their own way.  Sometimes i've wondered why, with all the memories that have been taken from me, these particular memories not only hang around, but sneak up and attack when i least expect them too. 

i'm so sorry for your loss, for the grief you're feeling, and hope the time soon comes when you'll be able to move on and consider the time you had with him a gift, one that you can take out once in a while and treasure, with the knowledge that they no longer consume.

Good luck and hugs..

jimini

PS -- Thanks for sharing the song, Lotus, i'm a huge fan of Reba's, but i'd forgotten that one.



_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/16/2007 9:31:52 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Was this just an on line relationship?  Sounds like it. If not you should know how to get a hold him.

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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/16/2007 9:41:50 AM   
drawntothedark


Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Was this just an on line relationship?  Sounds like it. If not you should know how to get a hold him.


I was thinking that as well. Unless he has forbid you to contact him, how come you can't just pick up the phone and say hi?

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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/17/2007 9:30:37 PM   
wonderlust


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		Last I heard he was in a center for stroke victims.I have tried to call his cell but no luck.The friend who lived near him whom he told said he didnt want to be in the "Lifstyle"  said he didnt want ANY contact from ANY of us, her included.I still try his cell at least so he'll know I still care.

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RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/17/2007 10:00:50 PM   
MasterWilliam55


Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline 		I'm so sorry for you wonderlust. I mean that scincerely. I know exactly what your going through. Closer will take time.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I MISS HIM! - 1/17/2007 10:02:03 PM   
scuffedknees


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		Hi wonderlust,  
I think You got alot of good compassionate advice from your inquiry,
I have from time to time found myself in a "Freefall"  And like Your Master I have
in the past, dealt with Freefalling by acting like a wounded Bear,  Stop being social,
hibernate, lick my wounds , feel sorry for myself. and think that no one else knows what im going through, He is going through a "shock" to what he percieves himself
to be,
I remember not answering my phone, and listening to my girl friends voice,
on the answering machine,
Telling me she loved me, and missed me, This after telling Her not to call me. But You know what ? That phone call even though i didn't pick up,  Had a very Deep impact on me, Though to myself I was saying, I told her not to call me, My heart was so happy she did, Because its a good feeling to know, even a curmudgeon like myself , that someone Loves You even when You don't Love Yourself.  

*******scuffed*******

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RE: I MISS HIM! - 2/9/2007 5:36:25 PM   
lilbrattie


Posts: 67
Joined: 2/9/2007
Status: offline 		hi wonderlust,

i went through some of the hardest times i thought i could when a dominant i was seeing suddenly passed away. it was a large shock to the whole community as he was well known. it took a long time to get on with my own life, with my own needs and wishes. He passed in May 06, and it's taken a long time to be able to open up and accept someone new in my life in that way, but it does and did happen for me.
i know it's not exactly what you are going through, but am sure it feels just as hard. stay strong, and in time you'll find your way.
i try to remember, life is a journey, the road can be bumpy but we seem to always find ways over or around each bump... it just takes time.. and depending on the size of the bump, it may take a while...

i have a special Sir in my life now, and i'm happier than i have been in ages. i share old memories with Sir, and enjoy creating new memories with Him..

it just takes time..

~ brattie ~

_____________________________

"Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose and then where are you?" Fanny Brice

000-662-847

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