new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/11/2007 8:51:46 PM

k0432

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

I'm sure that this topic has been covered a zillion times before, so I would be grateful if someone would post a few links or other advice. My fallback is to apply lanolin gently to all the sore areas, but I'd like to do the best I can for my potential playmate.

Any general references for beginning doms would also be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks.

k.

Post #: 1

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/11/2007 8:56:17 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Things that cool are always nice...like aloe vera gel. If you're looking to reduce bruising faster, try arnica gel...and have you playmate get some for home, too.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to k0432)

Post #: 2

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/11/2007 9:28:55 PM

Bosn

Posts: 54
Joined: 9/19/2006
Status: offline

I think that depends on what the spanking was for. If you are talking about the "play" spanking that some practice, I wouldn't know. If it was as punishment, again it depends. Obviously, you would attend to her physical issues but there is also "Sub-Drop".
I have sat and held a slave for up to an hour, calming her, letting her know that while she screwed up and was punished, she is still valued and I know she will do her best from now on. I have heard that those who play also have to watch out for sub-drop. But, you'll have to talk to others about that.
Bosn

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 3

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/11/2007 9:28:59 PM

k0432

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

Amica gel - I assume that I'd get that from a health food shop?

I somehow forgot to include the fact that, if this session goes ahead, there'll also be some pussy spanking as well. Would amica gel be equally helpful there?

k.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 4

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/11/2007 9:32:32 PM

k0432

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

I've started to read about sub drop. The person in question lives interstate, so I'm prepared to hold and cherish her (immediately and later) after the event, to encourage her to contact me if she feels that she has any need to whatsoever, and to keep a journal to capture any issues that she wasn't able to talk about at the time. Is there anything else I should attend to?

(in reply to k0432)

Post #: 5

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/11/2007 10:12:22 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

yes arnica gel is found in health food stores....do not use it internally or let it get on any private parts though.

sub drop can sometimes come a day or two later, symptoms can be moodiness, anxiety, resistance, and melancholy.

if your sub is having this sort of episode it can be very discerning unless you know what it is and to expect it.

over time severe drops seem to mellow out, make sure your subs diet is good, and that she drinks a lot of water before and after play....if she needs more shell tell you i am guessing....

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to k0432)

Post #: 6

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/11/2007 10:15:03 PM

simplyangelic1

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

The person who introduced me to Arnica cream told me it can be applied before play begins. I have only used it once on bruises that were forming and they didn't get any bigger and also faded much quicker then before. And yes you can get it at a health food store.

(in reply to k0432)

Post #: 7

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/12/2007 4:34:20 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Just have them lay on there stomach or side as you hold them. Have some water ready for them to drink. Gels, vitaman E oils, and all that stuff for brusing comes after the after care when your sub is able to walk around and begin talking to you again.

So are you asking about after care or treatment about treating marks?

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to k0432)

Post #: 8

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/12/2007 7:06:09 AM

k0432

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

Now, both. If the play goes ahead, I want to do the best I can for the sub. She deserves nothing less. I've so much to learn, and I'd like to quickly learn enough to avoid any serious mistakes (although there's no substitute for hands-on experience, so to speak), so I'm grateful for all your responses.

k.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 9

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/12/2007 8:38:19 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Rub the area down after spanking, like a deep tissue massage, some of us really like that

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to k0432)

Post #: 10

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/12/2007 9:32:09 AM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

cuddles, hugs and closeness...
the medical care can come later.....

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to k0432)

Post #: 11

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/12/2007 11:43:46 AM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

arnica can also be found in tablet form, dissolves under the tongue, and very helpful for many different aches and pains. in my experience it works rather quickly in this form too.

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to simplyangelic1)

Post #: 12

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/13/2007 9:38:29 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

I find that the soft Ice Packs(you know the gel ones) work good for swelling.
I like to also use a spray bottle with cold/icey water to soothe immediantly after a particulary hard whack.*note...wet skin hurts more when being whacked*

Aloe Vera either the gel from the plant itself or some other topical thing is also a great cooling/healing agent.

Someone already mentioned the stuff that helps with the actual bruising,I can never remember the name.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to k0432)

Post #: 13

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/13/2007 2:46:06 PM

PAsextoy4u

Posts: 58
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline

Do NOT use arnica gel if you want to offer comfort and soothing to the spanked area! Gel is in an alcohol base, and will burn terribly when applied to a well spanked bottom. I found out the hard way LOL Use arnica CREAM, which will be soothing and cooling enough, without burning the skin.

Never use arnica on membrane tissue, so dont use it between her legs, or near her anus. And do not use it on broken skin. Other creams are needed if the skin is broken. I have heard differing opinions on whether you can use it before a spanking or if it makes it hurt more using it before. I havent reached a conclusion on this aspect.

Just a thought... I dont know if its a punishment spanking or for fun. One way to avoid needing alot of aftercare is to take care during the spanking. If you are new to spanking, then start slow and light, dont use implements on her that you havent practiced with by using on pillows first. You can always slowly intensify the spanking, but if you hit too hard without enough warm up, or hit beyond her tolerance, and if you dont take care with your aim then you will harm her unnecessarily.

And something else to be aware of... if your bottom is a diabetic, she will need more aftercare. She will need more water, and something to eat as soon as she can sit up, probably something that is a protein first, then something sweet if she is craving that. But if she isnt craving sugar, then just give her some light protein, like cheese or yogurt. She may be more unsteady, so until you know her tolerances, go more slowly. Her blood sugar levels will flucuate more after a spanking or any kind of scene.

Just sharing MY knowledge, mostly from personal experience.

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 14

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/13/2007 8:44:58 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

If I want to increase the pain while spanking I wet the bottom first.

Alcohol on open cuts/welts does burn...but sometimes that can be fun...hehe

When I do spanking/whipping I like to take a break in between each spank session.
Move the submissive around in different positions that way the whole bottom can feel some.

Becareful of the whip around effect...dont want the sides of someone getting hit,just the bottom.

Any type of play will need more recover time for someone with health issues.Make sure ALL people that need to know if you have any that could effect play know.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to PAsextoy4u)

Post #: 15

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/14/2007 11:15:04 AM

cravinspankin

Posts: 127
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

I find that the soft Ice Packs(you know the gel ones) work good for swelling.
I like to also use a spray bottle with cold/icey water to soothe immediantly after a particulary hard whack.*note...wet skin hurts more when being whacked*

I practically come up off the table or bed screaming in shock when i've been played hard, my bottom is hot and red and He rolls a bottle of cool water on my skin.... or pours water over me....
It's exquisite!!! lol
and yes, it does hurt more when the flesh is a bit wet!

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 16

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/15/2007 9:43:33 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

I also agree with rubbing the sub with ice if you play hard enough to bruise. It stops the swelling and bleeding under the skin stops faster too. I also recommend giving her something sweet to eat after as it helps me not crash hard in sub drop the next day.
The next day I've found to take your hand like you'd hold it to do a karate chop and pushing steady and hard as you move over the bruises. For me it makes the bruises spread out and go away faster.
I've taken Anica pills the day I was going to play before, but never used the lotion and never have seen it.
Interesting, I'll have to hunt the health Food Stores Better.

I also recommend using a scale of 1-10 and checking where she was that level where she liked it during play and where it got too light or too heavy for her.
That way the impact and it's affects will be known better by you the next time for you to be able to guide her through the spanking better.
suzanne

< Message edited by onestandingstill -- 1/15/2007 9:45:10 AM >

(in reply to k0432)

Post #: 17

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/28/2007 4:26:03 AM

k0432

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for all your very helpful replies. I've bought some arnica cream, will have something sweet and some ice for the aftercare. I'll give her as much hugs and attention as she will take. And I'll give her a bottle of (cheap) french champagne to take away with her, to help make her feel appreciated and cherished.

I've also had a list of recommended books PM'd to me. I've now ordered these and await their arrival.

Again, thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience. CM is such a nice place to hang out.

k.

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 18

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/28/2007 4:32:39 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

The one piece of advice I will add..... now you have gotten advice on the physical aftercare.... put that in second priority.
Unless there is a physical problem arose that needs immediate attention, see to the girls emotional aftercare FIRST, reasurance, praise or overt forgivness (If you are doing the whole punishment thang). Whatever you find works for her, You and the dynamic between you. Applying cream or whatever can wait a few minutes!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to k0432)

Post #: 19

RE: new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking - 1/28/2007 8:17:34 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

You've gotten a lot of good advice on the physical and RavenMuse is dead on with seeing to a sub's emotional needs in aftercare first. I have some questions for you. Is she experienced at all in s/m play? Have you talked with her about her likes, dislikes, what she's curious to try?

Before I ever played and still if I play with someone new, we first sit down and discuss such things plus what my limits are and the top's limits and what I need in the way of aftercare and this communication continues throughout the play session with both of us giving feedback and alerting to problems so they can be corrected. In the aftercare itself still questions are asked such as is this helping you? Is there anything else you need, how are you feeling?

Even with those who top me regularly and know me well, we do this communication as we feel we need to in the course of any scene or aftercare time. In aftercare for me there are certain core needs that I always have and then depending on the intensity of the play and other variables, there may be other things I need for aftercare in addition to the core needs.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> new dom seeking advice on aftercare after spanking

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109