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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:04:25 AM

papabearscub

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

and do loose some weight.

Completely uncalled for and inappropriate.

I agree completely because if they can't love you fat then they ain't gonna love ya thin either.

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:04:56 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
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From: North Carolina
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I don't know where you have found these Doms, that may be a source of trouble in itself. You make a conscious decision to be with these people so maybe you need to look at your process of defining what is a Dom to you. Often peole choose the same type of partners over and over, whether it be dysfunctional or not.

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:09:36 AM

newsubseeking61

Posts: 33
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I agree with Aileen, that Rule's comments are out of line.

HOWEVER: Taking care of one's self will improve one's self esteem. By taking care of myself I show that I value myself and expect to be valued by others.

IF (and that is a BIG IF), your size is a reflection of low self esteem, then perhaps you may want to change that---ON YOUR TERMS and FOR YOU. I offer this because.....since May of 2005, I have lost 110 pounds. I would like to lose another 50 (maybe, maybe not). I did it FOR ME. I FEEL better physically and emotionally.

best!
jessica

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:11:01 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule
and do loose some weight.

Completely uncalled for and inappropriate.

Perhaps. It does not change my perception of dinaflower, though. Only she can judge whether my perception of her is correct or misguided.

Everyone has their own definition of what they find attractive. What I found inappropriate was you making a comment about something physical. Don't criticize others because they don't fall within your parameters of attractiveness.

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:11:35 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

Be cheerful, eat healthy, exercise, do yoga or (belly) dancing or another sport, and do loose some weight.

Edited to add: umm, I just returned to your profile and happened to see your second photograph. You are much more overweight than I thought. What is its cause? Is it physiological or psychological? Is it glandular, or do you hate yourself? Have you consulted a physician or psychologist about your overweight - if not, take a good friend with you who will stand up for you and defend your interests.

Perhaps I have erred in my perception of you and put my foot in my mouth, but I suspect not.

Be well. Do well.

Yeah you did put your foot in your mouth. Totally inappropriate.

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:11:59 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
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Whoa!!! And just how did you do that? i'm working on losing a few pounds myself right now and just curious what worked for you

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:13:09 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: newsubseeking61

I agree with Aileen, that Rule's comments are out of line.

HOWEVER: Taking care of one's self will improve one's self esteem. By taking care of myself I show that I value myself and expect to be valued by others.

IF (and that is a BIG IF), your size is a reflection of low self esteem, then perhaps you may want to change that---ON YOUR TERMS and FOR YOU. I offer this because.....since May of 2005, I have lost 110 pounds. I would like to lose another 50 (maybe, maybe not). I did it FOR ME. I FEEL better physically and emotionally.

best!
jessica

See? Quite! And congratulations. Well done.

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:16:19 AM

BabyNyla

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Joined: 9/15/2006
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It's a shame that some people have to base so much on a physical appearance.

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:16:32 AM

Aileen68

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

Edited to add: umm, I just returned to your profile and happened to see your second photograph. You are much more overweight than I thought. What is its cause? Is it physiological or psychological? Is it glandular, or do you hate yourself? Have you consulted a physician or psychologist about your overweight - if not, take a good friend with you who will stand up for you and defend your interests.

I would guess that you have been damaged in your youth and that this has forced you into a spiral of negativity. I recommend not to start any relationship until you have liberated yourself from this spiral of negativity and entered into a spiral of positivity.

Examine one by one your hurts and mourn them and forgive them and release them and give them to the Divine. This may take you months.

Whatever your own guilts and sins: if you regret them, you do not have to suffer for them. Recall that Jesus already died for the sins of all humanity. The Divine will happily take on your burdens and give you freedom from sin and freedom from guilt in return, if you so desire. Give your burdens to him.
The God of the Dead as well is lenient and forgiving. He has been where we all are and experienced it all.

They want you to live long, be strong and confident, and to be happy.

Acquire something that is truly beautiful, whether it be a rock, or a picture or music, and meditate on that once or several times every day. It will make you beautiful.

Perhaps I have erred in my perception of you and put my foot in my mouth, but I suspect not.

Be well. Do well.

It's amazing how much you can deduce from two pictures of a stranger. You are the perfect example of just what the OP was about. How about posting your picture so we can all see how perfect you are.

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:18:06 AM

newsubseeking61

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I am not comfortable with you using my post to justify your rude behavior.

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:19:21 AM

valeca

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Here's a different way to look at it. Rather than giving up, BEGIN looking for friendships rather than 'the One'.

I've always found the best, long-term relationships have solid footing in friendship first. It also gives you a chance to get to know the person first, before looking at their potential as a mate. It might help weed out some of the ones looking for a quick bang to get their rocks off.

When I met Master, neither of us were looking for a relationship. It just developed naturally over time.

Edited to add: And if a relationship doesn't develop with any of the friends you find, what are you left with? Friends! It's a win-win situation, I think.

And, Rule, I think you had good intentions, but didn't think your words through. Tact is a skill not everyone possesses.

< Message edited by valeca -- 1/12/2007 6:31:57 AM >

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:19:24 AM

sweetnurseBBW

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From: North Carolina
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Especially someone who claims to have no experience in this lifestyle. Maybe you should learn a few things before passing judgement on things you have never experienced. In response to Rule

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 1/12/2007 6:20:48 AM >

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:20:37 AM

newsubseeking61

Posts: 33
Joined: 10/8/2006
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adaddysgirl,

Write to me off forum and I will tell you how I have changed my life. Other's don't need to be subject to this.

best!
jessica

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:21:28 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
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Aileen is a fatgirl? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I might be able to compromise on the New Jersey thing after all........I gotta hang around more....

Zoftig!!!!

Ron

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:23:56 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
Everyone has their own definition of what they find attractive.

Quite.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
What I found inappropriate was you making a comment about something physical. Don't criticize others because they don't fall within your parameters of attractiveness.

Hm, I did not say anything about her attractiveness physical-wise. I was concerned with the spiritual of which the physical is often a reflection.

It is easy to say, "Do not be judgmental", but everything alive does judge every moment of their life.

I was not aware of the size of dinaflower's spiritual problem until after my first post.

< Message edited by Rule -- 1/12/2007 6:24:31 AM >

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:30:45 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
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give me a break. you've all but ridiculed her for being overweight...like there's something wrong with it. i mean, yeah, there may be some that suffer from things that cause them to be overweight. but damn. you don't even know her (granted, i don't either) but you're judging her and then trying to cover up that fact.

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:31:29 AM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

Edited to add: umm, I just returned to your profile and happened to see your second photograph. You are much more overweight than I thought. What is its cause? Is it physiological or psychological? Is it glandular, or do you hate yourself? Have you consulted a physician or psychologist about your overweight - if not, take a good friend with you who will stand up for you and defend your interests.

I would guess that you have been damaged in your youth and that this has forced you into a spiral of negativity. I recommend not to start any relationship until you have liberated yourself from this spiral of negativity and entered into a spiral of positivity.

Examine one by one your hurts and mourn them and forgive them and release them and give them to the Divine. This may take you months.

Whatever your own guilts and sins: if you regret them, you do not have to suffer for them. Recall that Jesus already died for the sins of all humanity. The Divine will happily take on your burdens and give you freedom from sin and freedom from guilt in return, if you so desire. Give your burdens to him.
The God of the Dead as well is lenient and forgiving. He has been where we all are and experienced it all.

They want you to live long, be strong and confident, and to be happy.

Acquire something that is truly beautiful, whether it be a rock, or a picture or music, and meditate on that once or several times every day. It will make you beautiful.

Perhaps I have erred in my perception of you and put my foot in my mouth, but I suspect not.

Be well. Do well.

It's amazing how much you can deduce from two pictures of a stranger. You are the perfect example of just what the OP was about. How about posting your picture so we can all see how perfect you are.

How much you wanna bet that doesn't happen.

The bottom line is this. If the OP feels like she needs to lose weight. More power to ya sweetie. Dropping 10 pounds can really boost your mood. But if your not wanting to lose weight....more power to you. Like someone said before if they can't love you bigger than they will never love you smaller. It's all up to the OP.

Bringing up someone's weight especially when she has come here for a shoulder to cry on was VERY out of line. She didn't ask us "Hey guys do I look big in these jeans". She asked us to be a sympathic ear and a voice of wisdom about her previous relationships, not her weight. She is obviously not feeling all that great about herself and I'm sure that you Rule made her feel that much worse. Well Done. I'm sure all the subs just flock to you.

Good luck with celibacy.

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:34:46 AM

Rule

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Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
It's amazing how much you can deduce from two pictures of a stranger.

Thank you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
You are the perfect example of just what the OP was about.

Mmm. I rather think that I looked beyond her appearance - of which I was not aware to start with - to the spiritual root of her misfortune.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
How about posting your picture so we can all see how perfect you are.

What? You want to judge me by my appearance? That is one of the reasons that I do not have a picture up.

But if it makes you feel better: I am a scrawny, fat troll that dwells in one of the nether pits of Hell and there ponders his next evil deed. ;-)

< Message edited by Rule -- 1/12/2007 6:36:03 AM >

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:41:37 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule
But if it makes you feel better: I am a scrawny, fat troll that dwells in one of the nether pits of Hell and there ponders his next evil deed. ;-)

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 1/12/2007 6:42:28 AM >

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RE: Should i just give up? - 1/12/2007 6:46:20 AM

MzTlaz

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I read the OP's profile....and to me it seems that what she's really looking for is love. I'd be willing to bet that if someone vanilla was to give her the love she seeks the Lifestyle would be 'out the window'. In my experience there are a lot of larger girls in the Lifestyle because they are judged less for their size and given more of a chance than in the default world. Though I may not agree fully with Rule's approach I do believe he is correct in his assessment that the OP's problem lies within her.

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