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ORIGINAL: julietsierra

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ORIGINAL: dawntreader

 i think the girls in the middle have the advantage!  LOL

And I think that you'll find, when talking to them, that they believe the slender ones are attracting the athletic people, the heavier ones are attracting the BBW lovers and that they are supremely overlooked and undervalued.
[It's all a perception issue - which begins with ourselves. When we see ourselves as generally unloveable; when we spend our time looking for Prince Charming on his white horse to come rescue us instead of simply rescuing ourselves, we tend to be continually disappointed. And when we are continually angry that no one has seen how wonderful we are, then the next question is "just how wonderful are we really?"

I like changing up those stories we tell people when they're younger. When it came to Rapunzel, I once asked my family members what Rapunzel could have done differently. By the time they heard the story, they were already thinking differently. They suggested that if the prince could climb up, she could have cut her hair, tied it to the bed and climbed down on her own.

I read the OP's profile including her comments on the blog there. My suggestion is that at her age, the time is perfect for cutting her own hair, tying it to the bedpost and climbing down from her tower on her own. Waiting for Prince Charming is usually a waste of time and  playing the damsel in distress only works in fairy tales.

And being perpetually angry over the fates that have declared that at the ripe old age of 22 she should not alread have someone in her life - may just be the reason she doesn't.

What I find interesting though out of this entire thread are the continuing comments about finding someone who will look beyond first impressions, when it's been proven time and again, first impressions typically occur within the first 2-5 seconds of meeting someone and once made are usually difficult to go against. I agree that people SHOULD be looking beyond the obvious. The problem - as the OP has put forth - is that those people who actually do that (rather than just say they do that)  are VERY hard to find.

juliet

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ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you

What kind of person do you want to attract? Do you have the kind of qualities to atract that quality of person.

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ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

ya know, after careful consideration, i've decided (after a brief break from searching) i shall not give up hope. screw the ones that got away...i won't give them the satisfation of seeing my quit. let's just say, i have had enough of players and i intend to kick up my search a notch (thanks Emeril for that phrase *BAM*)

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ORIGINAL: dawntreader

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ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

ya know, after careful consideration, i've decided (after a brief break from searching) i shall not give up hope. screw the ones that got away...i won't give them the satisfation of seeing my quit. let's just say, i have had enough of players and i intend to kick up my search a notch (thanks Emeril for that phrase *BAM*)

i am sure your break from searching helped you heal though and regain a positive attitude...
i am stepping back myself to re-evaluate my weaknesses and develop my strengths because i am not attracting what i desire and being the common denominator has not gone unnoticed by me ! LOL 

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ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

ya know, after careful consideration, i've decided (after a brief break from searching) i shall not give up hope. screw the ones that got away...i won't give them the satisfation of seeing my quit. let's just say, i have had enough of players and i intend to kick up my search a notch (thanks Emeril for that phrase *BAM*)

michael, i'm very glad to hear this.  Good luck to you! 

BTW.....who is Emeril and what was the phrase? 

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ORIGINAL: eyesopened

to the OP... Here is something from my journal that may help you see that you are not alone.

Today i was thinking about hope. There are rainy days like today when i think seriously about giving up. But Hope is the seasoning to life, like seasoning for food, too much makes the dish bitter and inedible. Too much Hope makes life bitter because it leads to countless disappointments. No Hope, like seasonings, makes life bland. So here i am, with a sprinkle of Hope that i may one day find my life's Master.

eyes, i used to have hope and now i have 'faith'.  i don't hope, i just know i'm going to find what i am looking for someday.  How's that for positive thinking? 

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ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

i'm going to ask alot more questions, and get better aquainted with others before going to the next level.

i hope your search gets better also.

• Short - my mother is both short and overpowering.  Here is where it gets interesting, I am 6'2, my last was 5'3 but in my head I think of her as being at eye level.  I only recently realized that wasn't because I thought of them as equal but because I saw them as powerful (my overpowering mother).  Which is also why I love ball gags but that is another story.   Having noticed this and others trends which I am determined to break I want a tall woman 5'7 or taller and since I have realized WHY I tend to end up with short women almost overnight I started looking at tall women differently!
  
• emotionally manipulative or at least needy - Again, the whole mother thing.   Much of my pre BDSM behavior was very domineering (which I define as tearing someone down to gain power over them) and it has taken me a long time to work through that.  However, my ex was very very needy (4-6 phone calls every day, argued if I was "attracted" to hot female cartoon characters, etc.) and I will no longer accept that.  However, I get off on taking care of a woman so I am going  to have to work out some balance and boundaries there.
  
• I tend to pick off stragglers in vanilla life, cut them off from the herd so to speak.  They tend to be social misfits and then I whine about them not being social butterflies like me.  Again, some of this comes from mommy, others from my father, plus my early childhood.