RE: I'm a virgin; what should I do next? (Full Version)

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mnottertail -> RE: I'm a virgin; what should I do next? (1/15/2007 1:31:52 PM)

Aw, for Fucks sake!!!!!!!!!!

Never Mind.

Ron



onestandingstill -> RE: I'm a virgin; what should I do next? (1/15/2007 1:33:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

I am not sure how this is going to come out but I have to say it anyways..

Why are YOU making an issue with being a virgin? You want to be the dominant..so no sex is your option. I dont see where it needs to be explained to anyone. If they are not willing to take it at your pace, they are not compatible. This issue ISNT the fact that you havent had sex..the issue is you dont want to have sex with casual partners. Your call. I dont see why you need to bring your being a virgin into a discussion at all. This is of course assuming you KNOW all the mechanics and are not looking for someone to teach you how to have sex.

I wish you luck as you continue to find the ways and means to show yourself to be all you desire.

I would feel he was hiding something or had issues if I didn't know he was a virgin and after a couple of months he still didn't want to do me.
Truth is better than deception or lack of the truth in my book.
If I knew he was a virgin it would not make me question him or myself. If I did not know I may not question him, but I'd worry something was not appealing in me or he was broken somehow.
suzanne



Emperor1956 -> RE: I'm a virgin; what should I do next? (1/15/2007 3:41:03 PM)

A reply specifically to LaM:

quote:

  I can't speak for the women who are turning you down, but my suspicion is this: they're wondering how you can possibly be ready for a long-term, monogamous relationship when you've never even had sex.  You have to know what a short-term relationship is like before you move on to a long-term one, and if you've never had a sexual relationship before, you really have no idea how it works.  You can't.



No, you are wrong.  Many people have sex for the first time with the person they then spend the rest of their life with, often on the fabled "wedding night", and live happily and fulfilled for a long time thereafter.

Others don't.

There is absolutely no "need" to have short term relationships, or multiple sex partners, in order to then have a complete, fulfilling, long-term monogamous relationship.  My grandparents and parents did, and yours probably did too. 

E.




BlackKnight -> RE: I'm a virgin; what should I do next? (1/15/2007 4:37:28 PM)

Stamp it on you forehead " Poud to be a virgin!" or "Virgin by choice!"
Personally I feel you should put it in your profile, explain your beliefs.
Have you concidered what these women are feeling?  Maybe they're
thinking they found a nice guy and they're going to get some release? 
Then you unload, err tell them there isn't any unloading here!
The females your talking to may not get the picure. 
You should explain your values, reasons, reassure them in your profile
that you will 'take care of them'.  Then lead them to understand, explain
to them, that just because your a virgin, doesn't mean you don't know
what you want, nor what your doing. 
Now also understand, what happens in the mind, and reality, are different
things.  Once you bite the fruit everything will be different. 
Will the fruit be all that you expected?
Will you want more? How much More?
Will you care? 
Will it be enough?
Do you truely know your limits?
Maybe These are things the females you speak with feel.
will you respect her limits?
Will you respect her in the morning?
Fine, you may think this can go for everyone, but your
a Big QUESTION MARK!



BlackKnight -> RE: I'm a virgin; what should I do next? (1/15/2007 4:39:02 PM)

BTW I salute you for your beliefs, and applaud you sticking to them.



softcoresicko -> RE: I'm a virgin; what should I do next? (1/15/2007 9:05:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I can't speak for the women who are turning you down, but my suspicion is this: they're wondering how you can possibly be ready for a long-term, monogamous relationship when you've never even had sex. You have to know what a short-term relationship is like before you move on to a long-term one, and if you've never had a sexual relationship before, you really have no idea how it works. You can't.


This point has been answered already (by Emperor1956); but I feel I should answer in my own words.

I have been in a long term relationship before; my last relationship lasted for nearly two years (not a huge amount of time as relationships go; but a rather long portion of my 24 year old life). We didn't have sex, by mutual agreement, but we did do quite a bit of not-so-innocent playing, including some bondage (which I really enjoyed, and is why I'm looking for someone on here, rather than on more vanilla sites).

As to the nature of a sexual relationship; you do have a point, I don't know what that's like. However, on my list of things a relationship should include, good sex is fairly low (it's on there, but things like common interests, genuine affection, and ability to connect intellectually are much higher).

One of the prime reasons I felt I should post this is because I am looking for something long term, and doubt I could keep my virginity a secret, even if I wanted to. I wanted to know what those of you who share my interests (particularly the (submissive) females) thought about being with someone who is a virgin, and is not likely to change in the near future. Most of the comments seem quite supportive, which certainly helps to convince me that I should just come out with it, and let the chips fall where they may.

Thank you all for the advice and comments; I shall now be off to edit my profile.



toservez -> RE: I'm a virgin; what should I do next? (1/16/2007 11:29:24 AM)

I do want to stress good for you in standing by your convictions and isn’t honesty always the best answer to almost if not everything in life. Throwing out there when you feel like it has to be overall better then fretting over when to tell someone.

I do not want to be negative but your comment about good sex being fairly low on your list is something I did want to comment on. First there is nothing wrong with that and again big kudos for your honesty in that area, but you also must understand sex and sexual desires can be big decision factors for many people. The reason why I point this out is because society has a long history of downplaying sex and making people feel like this is not a big issue in compatibility and therefore some people start making moral judgments based on these teachings. I am certainly not saying that is you, but you must be prepared that a woman reading a profile where something like this is in the profile or if you are talking live to someone this is something that will turn off a percentage of women.

Knowing your sexual desires and communicating them is great, expecting them not to be a huge thing for women to factor in would be a mistake. I am certainly not accusing you of this; I am just making a comment.



chastitybelt -> RE: I'm a virgin; what should I do next? (1/16/2007 11:44:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: softcoresicko

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I can't speak for the women who are turning you down, but my suspicion is this: they're wondering how you can possibly be ready for a long-term, monogamous relationship when you've never even had sex. You have to know what a short-term relationship is like before you move on to a long-term one, and if you've never had a sexual relationship before, you really have no idea how it works. You can't.


This point has been answered already (by Emperor1956); but I feel I should answer in my own words.

I have been in a long term relationship before; my last relationship lasted for nearly two years (not a huge amount of time as relationships go; but a rather long portion of my 24 year old life). We didn't have sex, by mutual agreement, but we did do quite a bit of not-so-innocent playing, including some bondage (which I really enjoyed, and is why I'm looking for someone on here, rather than on more vanilla sites).

As to the nature of a sexual relationship; you do have a point, I don't know what that's like. However, on my list of things a relationship should include, good sex is fairly low (it's on there, but things like common interests, genuine affection, and ability to connect intellectually are much higher).

One of the prime reasons I felt I should post this is because I am looking for something long term, and doubt I could keep my virginity a secret, even if I wanted to. I wanted to know what those of you who share my interests (particularly the (submissive) females) thought about being with someone who is a virgin, and is not likely to change in the near future. Most of the comments seem quite supportive, which certainly helps to convince me that I should just come out with it, and let the chips fall where they may.

Thank you all for the advice and comments; I shall now be off to edit my profile.



I notice alot of submissive virgin female on the forum so they must be out there and i'm sure some submissive female in general will suport you.good luck!!



SirPhotographer -> RE: I'm a virgin; what should I do next? (1/16/2007 4:08:03 PM)

my advice is to find a domme or experienced sub who will switch and have her teach you.  Best way to learn



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