love (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master



Message

MasterHXB -> love (1/15/2007 7:55:10 AM)

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.



aSlavesLife -> RE: love (1/15/2007 8:06:01 AM)

Not in the least. Though I do not find it necessary to love a slave, if it happens my ability to discipline and control is not hindered in the slightest due to any emotional attachment. I would be in a sorry state if it were, as my sexual desire is linked inseparably to my sadism.



KnightofMists -> RE: love (1/15/2007 8:08:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.


Hell... I think it is just another aspect that increases my motivation in holding my girls accountable for their behaviors and exercising my authority over them.  Sometimes I think they think I love them too much lol



Nikodemus -> RE: love (1/15/2007 8:16:47 AM)

To me that question doesn't make sense. The submissive or slave should crave the control and expect to be punished for wrongdoing. If she didn't, she should probably re-think her lifestyle choice. I show my love by controlling her and punishing her when she requires it. To do otherwise would be to fail in my commitment to her.



MasterGremlin -> RE: love (1/15/2007 8:20:46 AM)

Yes He does, He loves to controll and punish me [:D]
Sincerely,
minxy [:)]



onestandingstill -> RE: love (1/15/2007 8:28:54 AM)

I feel indeed without love in my relationship I could never, nor would I ever submit my body fully to his will, not mine.
I can only make that sacrifice to someone I love AND trust.
If he did not love me too, not necessarily monogamously, but in his heart the energy exchange would not work enough for me to truly feel safe belonging to him or that I should give so much control of myself to him.
Mind you in my two years I have indeed seen the strongest of sadist's go soft and not be able to do hard or firm things with someone because they loved them. But I've also seen the journey the two that together when love and the sadist mesh into an AWESOME and rare relationship and exchange.
Just the other day I was talking to a friend who says your Dom is of God, but the sadist in him is Satan. I feel the opposite of that is true, I feel the union of the two is of goodness and light if both enjoy the energy and no one's emotionally damaged or destroyed my extreme control or sensations.
I feel you can indeed have a HEAVY SADIST that loves you, takes good care of you, and tortures you divinely without Satan or Demons getting there hands in the mix.
suzanne



mstrjx -> RE: love (1/15/2007 8:29:24 AM)

I agree to all of those above.  I definitely do not make a distinction between 'I love this person' and 'I'm hurting this person so much they're crying'.

Many people (or so I've heard) have real trouble mixing those two statements.  In my view, if the reason two people get together is to explore something within the realm of BDSM (because each of their individual needs are more fulfilled in non-vanilla relationships) and then love is allowed to cause the relationship to go vanilla, one person (generally the submissive) is going to be frustrated beyond belief.

This could never happen to me.  I'm too aware.

Jeff



Stephann -> RE: love (1/15/2007 8:36:10 AM)

No.

On the controlling aspect, I find it easier to assert our respective relationship roles because we love each other.  If I didn't care for her, I wouldn't feel any drive to control her.

On the punishment aspect, I prefer to believe that adults shouldn't be 'punished.'  Within the framework of our D/s dynamic, punishment is a tool to ensure obedience.

Punishment, as 'play' on the other hand, is a whole other topic.  Sadly, we lack common vocabulary necessary to make that distinction easily or quickly.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: love (1/15/2007 10:37:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB
Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.

Nope.



losttreasure -> RE: love (1/15/2007 10:52:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.


Would you let your feelings of love for your little ones get in the way of controlling or punishing them?

I would think that the only way that love would be a hinderance is if the control and punishment you were trying to exert were knowingly detrimental to her.  It's hard to be deliberately mean and cruel to someone that you care for.



LaTigresse -> RE: love (1/15/2007 12:08:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.


If I do not love someone I have no interest in how they behave therefore no real interest in controlling or punishing them. Quite honestly, without love it just wouldn't be worth the bother.



luv4softbutch -> RE: love (1/22/2007 9:42:15 AM)

I agree with you onestandingstill.  No love, No play, no Trust is formed, but that is just my view. It's how I feel for me to be submissive.   



SirDominic -> RE: love (1/22/2007 10:35:16 AM)

It is precisely because of my love for my slave that I control and punish her.



proudsub -> RE: love (1/22/2007 12:54:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.


Hubby does, yes. Here's another discussion of this:
Can love get in the way?



OedipusRexIt -> RE: love (1/22/2007 4:07:33 PM)

I'm not the least bit ashamed to say that at times I have....

Sometimes you do have to hurt the ones you love, though.  Also, it can be cruel to be kind. 

Both useful cliches.



griffn -> RE: love (1/22/2007 4:13:42 PM)

You took the words right out of my mouth well put precise and to the point.
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

It is precisely because of my love for my slave that I control and punish her.



RumpusParable -> RE: love (1/22/2007 4:33:04 PM)

I don't tend to love my subs/slaves, but I do often have a strong affection or the very least that appreciation of a good tool for those such applies to. 

For those I grow an affection for, no, I absolutely do not let those feelings interfere with punishment and control.  Both are part of strengthening and defining the relationship and helping the submissive to grow, while unpleasant at times they are part of a greater kindness and caring... "tough love", if you will.  I am helping them through disciplining, so I do not feel at all hesitant in doing what needs done for their and the relationship's care.



amayos -> RE: love (1/22/2007 5:53:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.




Certainly not. I make certain she understands that discipline and punishment—even what some would call abuse—is a form of affection in itself. Had I not the care, I would not even bother to punish or enforce my will.



andreaC -> RE: love (1/22/2007 6:04:38 PM)

I think if Master didnt love or care for me........he wouldnt be punishing me when i deserve it or controlling me. He will do it because he cares deeply for me.



MLapis -> RE: love (1/25/2007 5:46:51 PM)

I am sure I often let love come between my submissive and I when it came time to administer some sort of punishment or discipline when she became bratty. But I allowed her to guilt me into the usual vanilla world of guilt.I was never strong enough to punish her when I knew I should. I am sure this contributed to the fall of our relationship. The frustration on both sides was extremely high.  Although I still don't think I could have truly ever punished her. She learned this and was easily able to walk all over me. I fear that next time I will be harder or I will not let myself love as deeply. That would be a shame.



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875