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adaddysgirl -> RE: Dangerous Desires (1/15/2007 7:42:02 PM)
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Aileen,
i'm going to talk about something non-D/s for a moment. As a kid, it seemed i was always fighting. i'm not sure why that was but i often blame in on the fact that i had 4 (relentless) brothers. In any event, even as i got older, i loved to fight. i don't know....there was something very 'edgy' about it.
At 26 years old, with 2 kids (3 & 8), i ran my mouth just one too many times. i was jumped by 10 girls who promised to 'take out my eyes'. i ended up badly beaten, with deep gouges on my face and body and 2 black eyes. The police thought some type of weapon was used but that was never proved. Hell, i didn't even know who was involved until someone came forward. Yes, i 'touched the flame' and am lucky to live to tell about it.
When i came home from the hospital (where the police sent me)...i had to face my kids AND my father. Gawd! They all cried when they saw me. But i was a stubborn person back then and my first thought was 'i'm going back there and i'm going to find out what this was all about'. In reality, all that probably would have done was cause more problems.
i had to make a choice. Either go on doing what i really wanted to do, with no regard to my life nor those i loved....or give that shit up for those that mattered to me. Reluctantly, i chose the latter.
i tried it one too many times and yes, i did survive, but at the expense of those who meant the most to me.
You are an adult. Perhaps you will never feel fulfilled unless you experience it...i don't know. And maybe a lot of us feel we have to 'give something up' for other reasons. Hey, if you are single, no kids, no parents, and you make a bad decsion....you are the only one who has to live with it (or die by it). Otherwise, your actions might have an effect on more than you can imagine.
i am not judging you here. Just hoping that if something does go bad, you will be able to deal with what's left.
DG
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