RE: The Rose Colored Week

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MasterzKitten -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 7:11:08 PM)
i always getting killer cramps the first day and then im fine. my ex use to give me ice cream any time i was in a bitchy mood, period or no, bc that would shut me up and make me happy. When i got really painful cramps, He'd let me take the pain out on Him (bite, scratch, hit, etc) to distract me from my own pain, and just to vent it. That always really helped, and i miss it. Massages are really nice too. Sadly heating pads have never worked for me. Sometimes just being held and soothed helps a great deal. And of course the max allowed amount of midol and such always helps too, whenever it decides to kick in (which takes hours for me).

WulfMan -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 8:08:27 PM)
Alright you all have to promise that Amanda will hear nothing of this. I have this nice comfortable big boy rocking chair, and on nights where she has the cramps and can't sleep I have her lay down in my lap on the chair and just rock reading her one of my Novels, right now I'm reading Angels and Demons by dan brown, almost through that one so will probably get back into my Tom Clancy groove. Once she starts to dose off I just start to hum, and I have a pretty deep voice so she goes out like a light. I love it when she falls asleep in my arms, makes me feel special y'know. Love is a powerful thing it makes the toughest man into the biggest of teddy bears.

SweetDommes -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 8:51:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress The nicest thing my sub can do for me to ease the suffering.. fist me. I know it sounds icky to most of you at the best of times, but I enjoy it and it eases my cramps a LOT and shortens the overall period. I could go into details about why, but I don't want to make ya'll go EWWW. While I haven't done fisting yet - at any time of the month - I have noticed that sex (the rougher the better) does shorten my flow considerably ... and yeah, staying out of the physiology is probably for the best LOL

MadameDahlia -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 9:33:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetDommes quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress The nicest thing my sub can do for me to ease the suffering.. fist me. I know it sounds icky to most of you at the best of times, but I enjoy it and it eases my cramps a LOT and shortens the overall period. I could go into details about why, but I don't want to make ya'll go EWWW. While I haven't done fisting yet - at any time of the month - I have noticed that sex (the rougher the better) does shorten my flow considerably ... and yeah, staying out of the physiology is probably for the best LOL Not being terribly keen on sex I think I'll stick with chocolate, massages, cuddling and heating pads.

SweetDommes -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 9:39:16 PM)
In reality, sex does relax the muscles enough to ease the cramping ... but for me, only temporarily (like, during and maybe another hour after sex) ... I know for some the effects are longer - however, the shortening of the flow is more than enough for me to do it anyway lol

MadameDahlia -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 9:43:43 PM)
-grins- Reality or not... I've never been happy with sex. Maybe it wasn't the right partner... the right time... the right mood... the list goes on regarding what may have made my experiences less than perfect. However no matter what was wrong with the various times I attempted it the result was always massive amounts of pain.

SweetDommes -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 10:14:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia -grins- Reality or not... I've never been happy with sex. Maybe it wasn't the right partner... the right time... the right mood... the list goes on regarding what may have made my experiences less than perfect. However no matter what was wrong with the various times I attempted it the result was always massive amounts of pain. Ok Ok, so you live in an alternate reality :-P I've seriously never met anyone before who said that it didn't help at all ... everyone (until you) has said that it at least relieved them during sex. But hey, there are exceptions to every 'rule' ... doesn't it make you feel special? LOL

MadameDahlia -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 10:22:24 PM)
Not so much... there has been one or two people I wanted to connect with on that basic, some might say primal, level... someone I really wanted to be physically close to... closer than hugging... closer than kissing. I wanted to go farther and find the closeness of a lover. But 'making love' always winds up being 'painful sex'. I don't know why.

SweetDommes -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 10:48:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia Not so much... there has been one or two people I wanted to connect with on that basic, some might say primal, level... someone I really wanted to be physically close to... closer than hugging... closer than kissing. I wanted to go farther and find the closeness of a lover. But 'making love' always winds up being 'painful sex'. I don't know why. Actually, I understand - Holly has the same problems - so she stops it before it goes anywhere ... she is techincally still a virgin - she does other things instead.

MadameDahlia -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 11:02:44 PM)
It's nice to hear that someone understands! I'm pretty comfortable being me... but that's one thing that I feel annoyed with. I'd like to have that hot, passionate fun that I hear my friends all talk about so often but I don't know if I'll ever actually be able to have fun while having sex. I've had several people tell me that I might have Vaginismus where the muscle contracts too tightly therein causing the pain upon penetration. Another close friend of mine says that I like the idea of fucking more than I like the idea of being fucked... and therefore it's a mental thing. -shrugs- I've got no clue.

WulfMan -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 11:38:02 PM)
Quite honestly there are things in life better than sex. It may be the mind set too, I find that emotional sex is the best kind of sex, being drawn into a person by sheer love. I know I may sound like some bullshit romantic, but that's honestly how I feel about it. I don't know how to describe it, just the looks in each others eyes, like the light of the universe has some how compacted into those two eyes that are staring directly at you. And a feeling of ever lasting joy everytime you look into those eyes. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, nor am I sure if I care, just one of those things you have to type out. chuckles you can all hurt me later Ramblings of a hopeless romantic

SweetDommes -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (2/28/2005 11:55:18 PM)
Wulf, relax ... most of us won't hurt you (until you beg, of course LOL) - I happen to agree that sex with someone you love is millions of times better than sex with someone else. And it could be a number of things causing the pain, Dahlia. For Holly it is because she broke her pelvis when she was about 10 and the fracture point was right at the symphasis where there is supposed to be some flexibility to allow for childbirth - now she has no flexibility in that joint, plus a big, painful knot. Clitoral stimulation is best for her - and she can't even handle direct clitoral stimulation for long, it has to be indirect ...

quietkitten -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (3/1/2005 12:05:29 AM)
quote: Another problem that can cause entry pain is vaginismus, where the vaginal muscles contract involuntarily, making penetration extremely painful or impossible. This may be due to a subconscious response to prior pain, where the body tries to protect itself from pain by “closing off” the vagina, or may be due to psychological pain, in women who have an abuse history or who are fearful of sexual activity. I found this on Women's Health Information. Perhaps because sex has been painful in the past you have an involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles happening. It might actually something to discuss with an Ob/Gyn.

MadameDahlia -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (3/1/2005 12:06:33 AM)
Hiya Wulf. Many thanks for contributing. I'm not saying I need sex... for the most part I don't want to have sex. Once in a while though I'd like to connect physically - beyond cuddling and kissing, beyond hugging and holding hands. It's not really a feeling I have often but it is there from time to time with the right person. I think I probably do have vaginismus. But I hesitate to say for certain because the cure strikes me as a lot worse than the disease. The only cure I've found is a very slow process involving psychosexual therapy. About eighty percent of the people with this condition experience results after years of psychosexual therapy. I hate doctors... I hate 'em... I hate 'em... I hate 'em. I'd rather be without sex than trying to screw in front of a white lab coat clad doctor. Blech. Whoops... sent off my reply before seeing your post quietkitten. Thanks for the info. I read up as much as I could the moment the condition was suggested to me. As I said above... I think that's what it boils down to. I think I had a fear of pregnancy with my first boyfriend/lover and because that experience was painful the rest of them have been. (I ought to be a nut cracker!)... anyway... I don't know how I'd go about correcting this problem other than with the therapy. And that just sounds unpleasant.

quietkitten -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (3/1/2005 1:16:58 AM)
I read a little further, and one of the suggestions was a technique called "vaginal stretching" (sounds kinky... but I digress) It actually uses progressively larger and larger dilators to assist the vaginal wall to relax over a long period of time. The big drawback is that you need to keep them in for extended periods. This might be difficult to put up with.

MadameDahlia -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (3/1/2005 1:35:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: quietkitten It actually uses progressively larger and larger dilators to assist the vaginal wall to relax over a long period of time. The big drawback is that you need to keep them in for extended periods. This might be difficult to put up with. -laughs- Thanks. I've heard of that one too. But if I went that route I'd probably take just as long as I would using the therapy thing. Some people don't have a problem using tampons but they have this condition. I've got such an icky problem that even tampons are implements of torture to me (and I'm most definitely not a masochist so the torture isn't of the good sort). It takes about half an hour to relax enough to use tampons. I'll stick with my Always.

quietkitten -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (3/1/2005 1:50:38 AM)
Well then the dilation therapy would not be a good idea at all... Lol No point in torturing yourself is there? I will ask a Physician I know, (he is an Ob/Gyn who specializes is sexual dysfunctions), if he knows of any other methods. It sounds like you have researched this though, and none of the methods are feasible for you.

MadameDahlia -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (3/1/2005 1:57:57 AM)
I can live without sex... I'm fairly certain that other people have in the past and were perfectly well adjusted (aside from the sexual dysfunction) members of society. But it is something I'd like to "fix" or cure if possible (though not through methods that involve pain). As you said... why torture myself. I quite agree. I see no reason to since nature has taken it upon herself to torture me one week out of every month already. Perhaps if I got over some deeply buried mental bump I would be just fine... but I'm no nut cracker. I thank you for your input and for your offer to ask the doctor you know. I'm curious as to what he might say. I have yet to present this problem to my doctor since I've been without a significant other for a while. It hasn't been worth pondering. But -small grin- I've um... uh... hee hee... I'm all sorts of giddy... I seem to have met a very lovely person on this site. And of course now I'm thinking about it again. I may not even get that far since he and I are still getting to know one another. But just the same it would be really nice to be ready should the occasion present itself.

quietkitten -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (3/1/2005 2:05:03 AM)
quote: But -small grin- I've um... uh... hee hee... I'm all sorts of giddy... I seem to have met a very lovely person on this site. And of course now I'm thinking about it again. !! Very happy for you!!!! I work on Wednesday and I am sure I will run into him at work, so I will ask him then. If he wants to know why.... I will just say it's for A BDSM friend of mine (laughs herself silly) I can hardly wait to see the look on his face! Actually... maybe I will just say it's for research, some of the people I work with don't have the best sense of humor

MadameDahlia -> RE: The Rose Colored Week (3/1/2005 2:11:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: quietkitten quote: But -small grin- I've um... uh... hee hee... I'm all sorts of giddy... I seem to have met a very lovely person on this site. And of course now I'm thinking about it again. !! Very happy for you!!!! I work on Wednesday and I am sure I will run into him at work, so I will ask him then. If he wants to know why.... I will just say it's for A BDSM friend of mine (laughs herself silly) I can hardly wait to see the look on his face! -succumbs to faint blushing- Heh... many thanks. Though I'm hoping not to jinx anything. He's going to be visiting in August since we're a few states apart. After that whatever happens is anyone's guess... or bet... I'm taking down names and sums after a commercial break. -grins- I'm becoming a bit of a forum lurker so I'll definitely see if he manages to offer you anything we've not yet found! Hopefully he'll have all sorts of fun facts and spiffy knowledge to pull out of his doctor's bag. I'm looking forward to any helpful light he may shed on this. -impish grin- If he asks what it is for have fun! I don't deliberately shock vanilla folk but I love answering questions once they've opened the flood gates. It's all sorts of fun. Edit: Posted at about the same time as you! Whoops. Hmm... just because you've got a "strange friend" doesn't mean you're into all that stuff. -winks- Before I was able to come out to all and sundry I referred to a "friend" of mine all the time... Close friends figured it out. Mom sort of figured it out.

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