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RE: RE:'scheduled' Dominants &Wall of Can'ts The - 1/20/2007 10:45:19 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

This is a rediculous article...In this case "the wall of can'ts" all have to do with limitations because this idiot has chosen to get into a relationship with a married man and she for some god forsaken reason CAN'T understand that some married dude is not going to put her on the top rung of the ladder.

Hint>>>>For all of you subs out there!!!!! If you want a guys complete attention( if it's possible to ever have 100% of it) DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IDIOTS!!!!!

She should be strung up on "The wall of Cunts" and stoned for being so stupid. This would insure her genes will not be passed on to any further generations...Although if you are married I suppose it is nice to have such feeble minded people around for a taste of "strange" every now and then.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

And I'd like to add that if you ARE going to get involved with someone who's married (and there are those out there looking with the full knowledge etc of their husbands and wives for a variety of reasons that do not include a taste for the feeble minded), for goodness sake remember that you knew what you were getting into and either accept it and quit complaining about what is a natural part of your relationship or don't accept it and get out. It's not rocket science!!

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 1/20/2007 10:46:35 AM >

(in reply to domiguy)

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RE: 'scheduled' Dominants & The Wall of Can'ts - 1/20/2007 10:51:52 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

Hey hey People,
Please take a moment to see that I did Not write this- these are Not my words- and Nowhere did I say I agreed with it. I am Not a internet/online subby living in a fantasy world. I am very realtime always have been.

I just came across this, as I read it - I thought how utterly ridiculous to state a Dom that uses Can't is not in control- cant's are a part of life. as kyra said (there are times when obligations or responsibilities arise the prevent anyone from doing what they want to do, hence they can't do it. )

It was just pure curiosty on my part to see others reactions to this article.
That's all

I understood that swtnsparkling. The problem that I took issue with is that so many people identified with the suspicious nature of it all.

juliet

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

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Post #: 22

RE: RE:'scheduled' Dominants &Wall of Can'ts The - 1/20/2007 10:58:40 AM

Siona

Posts: 242
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

This is a rediculous article...In this case "the wall of can'ts" all have to do with limitations because this idiot has chosen to get into a relationship with a married man and she for some god forsaken reason CAN'T understand that some married dude is not going to put her on the top rung of the ladder.

Hint>>>>For all of you subs out there!!!!! If you want a guys complete attention( if it's possible to ever have 100% of it) DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IDIOTS!!!!!

She should be strung up on "The wall of Cunts" and stoned for being so stupid. This would insure her genes will not be passed on to any further generations...Although if you are married I suppose it is nice to have such feeble minded people around for a taste of "strange" every now and then.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

ALRIGHT!! Who pissed in his post toasties??????

(in reply to domiguy)

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Post #: 23

RE: 'scheduled' Dominants & The Wall of Can'ts - 1/20/2007 10:59:44 AM

HollyS

Posts: 230
Joined: 1/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

Today within the D/s lifestyle we see many 'scheduled' Dominants. These are the dominants who selectively schedule specific time periods to 'be' dominant. Which leads the observer to question what that person 'is' the rest of the time.

Many scheduled dominants have a 'wall of can'ts' to justify or explain to others the limitations of their apparent actions.

There's a big difference between scheduling time to "be dominant" and scheduling time to actively dominate a submissive/slave within a D/s dynamic. A person may be dominant all the time, but since he/she isn't in the presence of the submissive 24/7, their actions are questioned and they get labeled a "scheduled dom"? And what an awful term -- makes me think of chauffering my Dom to soccer practice, then violin lessons, then a playdate.

Sounds like the musings of an insecure submissive. If you can't trust what your partner is doing when the two of you are seperated, that might be a red flag regarding the overall health of the relationship.

quote:

Clue: If a Dominant wants to do something they do it! If a Dominant rules their personal world or environment they have no need or desire to use excuses or empty justifications to explain their actions and choices. Can't means they are not in control. It means they do not rule. Some'thing' or some'one' is controlling their ability to do. Source: http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html

Sorry, but this is just silly. People -- both dominant and submissive -- have varying degrees of responsibility across the multiple roles they occupy. The statements above imply that dominants act purely on their own, without anyone else ever exercising control over their decisions in any way or their dominance is called into question. So anyone who identifies as dominant should be publicly out, or society is controlling them? Out at their job? Out to their parents or children? A dominant should do exactly as he/she wants all the time or the claim of dominance is really just a sham?

Meh

~Holly

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RE: RE:'scheduled' Dominants &Wall of Can'ts The - 1/20/2007 11:14:29 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Siona

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

This is a rediculous article...

She should be strung up on "The wall of Cunts" and stoned for being so stupid. This would insure her genes will not be passed on to any further generations...Although if you are married I suppose it is nice to have such feeble minded people around for a taste of "strange" every now and then.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

ALRIGHT!! Who pissed in his post toasties??????

Mother Fuckers!!!!! Someone pissed in my Post Toasties!....Well fess up!...Which one of you was it?....(Domiguy frantically opening every kitchen cupboard door throwing every boxed product into garbage)...C'mon out with it!

I know your out there...I can hear you masturbating! julietsierra?onestandingstill?junecleaver?juliaoceania?...I'll be watching you all! (Domiguy now staring straight into computer screen eyes squinting looking terrribly menacing)

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to Siona)

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Post #: 25

RE: RE:'scheduled' Dominants &Wall of Can'ts The - 1/20/2007 11:16:26 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Siona

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

This is a rediculous article...

She should be strung up on "The wall of Cunts" and stoned for being so stupid. This would insure her genes will not be passed on to any further generations...Although if you are married I suppose it is nice to have such feeble minded people around for a taste of "strange" every now and then.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

ALRIGHT!! Who pissed in his post toasties??????

Mother Fuckers!!!!! Someone pissed in my Post Toasties!....Well fess up!...Which one of you was it?....(Domiguy frantically opening every kitchen cupboard door throwing every boxed product into garbage)...C'mon out with it!

I know your out there...I can hear you masturbating! julietsierra?onestandingstill?junecleaver?juliaoceania?...I'll be watching you all! (Domiguy now staring straight into computer screen eyes squinting looking terrribly menacing)

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

Wasn't me (I'm not allowed to masturbate)...but wait...I thought you had grape nuts...

(No,! I MEANT the cereal!!! REALLY I did!!)

*trying hard not to snicker at the "terribly menacing" look*

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 1/20/2007 11:18:13 AM >

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RE: 'scheduled' Dominants & The Wall of Can'ts - 1/20/2007 1:40:50 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

What do you think? I'm curious as to others opinions

Today within the D/s lifestyle we see many 'scheduled' Dominants. These are the dominants who selectively schedule specific time periods to 'be' dominant. Which leads the observer to question what that person 'is' the rest of the time. What motivates this 'scheduled' dominant to profess their dominance? If the dominant is in 'rule' of their own life or world then what creates this limited secretive display?

Many scheduled dominants have a 'wall of can'ts' to justify or explain to others the limitations of their apparent actions. Some 'can'ts' typical of this dominant are: "I can't see you full time because I am right in the middle of a very difficult divorce" - followed three years later by - "I can't see you full time because the divorce is almost final, we are at a particularly delicate phase..." (which means said dominant is happily married)

I can't give you my home phone number because I have children and one of them might pick up the telephone (as if children cannot summon a parent to the phone - this one generally means that the 'spouse' might answer). I can't be online, on the phone or meet you at a specific time because I have to work (which means their spouse is home and probably listening).

Clue: If a Dominant wants to do something they do it! If a Dominant rules their personal world or environment they have no need or desire to use excuses or empty justifications to explain their actions and choices. Can't means they are not in control. It means they do not rule. Some'thing' or some'one' is controlling their ability to do.
Source: http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html

LOL I love this thread. These Dominants should join some of the many submissive's around here.
There are many "submissives" that can't call you OR can't give you their number. hahahahaha
OR only want to serve every other weekend, and then only before dark.
All I can do is laugh.
Welcome to the real world.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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RE: 'scheduled' Dominants & The Wall of Can'ts - 1/20/2007 3:09:48 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

What do you think? I'm curious as to others opinions

Today within the D/s lifestyle we see many 'scheduled' Dominants. These are the dominants who selectively schedule specific time periods to 'be' dominant. Which leads the observer to question what that person 'is' the rest of the time. What motivates this 'scheduled' dominant to profess their dominance? If the dominant is in 'rule' of their own life or world then what creates this limited secretive display?

Many scheduled dominants have a 'wall of can'ts' to justify or explain to others the limitations of their apparent actions. Some 'can'ts' typical of this dominant are: "I can't see you full time because I am right in the middle of a very difficult divorce" - followed three years later by - "I can't see you full time because the divorce is almost final, we are at a particularly delicate phase..." (which means said dominant is happily married)

I can't give you my home phone number because I have children and one of them might pick up the telephone (as if children cannot summon a parent to the phone - this one generally means that the 'spouse' might answer). I can't be online, on the phone or meet you at a specific time because I have to work (which means their spouse is home and probably listening).

Clue: If a Dominant wants to do something they do it! If a Dominant rules their personal world or environment they have no need or desire to use excuses or empty justifications to explain their actions and choices. Can't means they are not in control. It means they do not rule. Some'thing' or some'one' is controlling their ability to do.
Source: http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html

Personally...I find the article amusing and, as someone else said, it comes across as someone who allowed herself to get involved with a dominant who was cheating (on his wife, on another submissive, ???) and so she has concluded that any dominant that displays similar behaviors must be cheating. But, let's take a look at this for a second and put a spin on it from the dominant side...

Submissive:
I can't talk to you this weekend...my parents are bringing my child up from another state to spend the weekend with me.
Dominant:
Oh really? Have a great time and call me as you can.
Dominant thinking as she thinks submissives should think:
Oh really? O.K., just who the hell is she going away with for the weekend? Goddamnit, I am going to call and call and call her and I am not going to tell her when I am going to call and she better not get pissed because it is MY right as a dominant to do so.

Submissive (after said weekend and discussing the upcoming weekend)
Yes Sir, I really want to go to the play party tonight but I don't want to play...I started my period and it's really heavy these first few days and you know how I feel during these first few days.
Dominant:
O.K.. We will go and see that new demo and then we'll see what happens from there.
Dominant thinking as she thinks submissives should think:
Oh really???? Goddamnit, I bet she's got marks from that sonuvabitch she was with last weekend and she doesn't want me to see them.

And on and on and on. My life is what it is...I have unmentionables, I run a healthcare practice, I am going to be a grandfather in the next 4 weeks, I teach seminars with a friend and I am going to be teaching one of my own soon, I like to work on my hot rods to reduce MY stress and on and on. Some of these things in my life require my total involvement and some do not. During those times of total involvement, I am not always available. I have told submissives before when they have called me at work that I was busy. I have told submissives when I was under a car with a wrench in my hand that I would call them back. I have told submissives who've called me at home when my unmentionables were there that I would call them back. Not one of these times involved my cheating with someone or not being dominant...as a matter of fact, the fact that I told them I would not take time for them when something else needed me more was...to my way of thinking...controlling my world and dominating it. That is not to say that I did not give these submissives...whether they were friends or partners...time, but it was at agreed-upon times, not always at her choosing. If that were so, then...to a certain extent...could that not be her trying to control an aspect of the relationship and, even if in a small sense, topping from the bottom?

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RE: 'scheduled' Dominants & The Wall of Can'ts - 1/20/2007 3:15:44 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
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^5 Creative Dominant....
Yeeeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwwww
Here is more:
How bout, I am not sure if I really am submissive, why don't you "play" with
me and do what I want to see if I like it?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

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RE: 'scheduled' Dominants & The Wall of Cant's - 1/20/2007 5:53:02 PM

MasDom

Posts: 375
Joined: 11/10/2005
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It is a way of life, Domination...
And yet life itself has a way of conforming your existence from within.

I think we shouldn't look for a relationship if were going threw a divorce, and yet we must realize divorces are some times long and lengthy processes.

Maybe some of these people had simply decided to move on with their lives rather then wast away their days.
And yet some are simply fools who toy with power like a child playing with his fathers handgun.

I had decided that such a branded words that label me actually help me in the end.
If ever some one to end up with me while I brandish such a word, it better be because my life admits the place for it.
Non of this i,m married annoyance.
Secondly it must be because they feel an honest connection or reason for submitting to me in the first place.

Sub missives have been no better really.
With the concept of religion being and issue.
Or some one two vanilla to understand what it means to be Dominant, trying to conform a relationship.
When all they were looking for was simple kink and their own pleasure like most others.

The problem is that this is dateing...
Meaning we look for a life time partner threw hit or miss moments that will either last or fall apart.

I think some times were to serious about it all.
And at other times way to deceitfull...
Regardless life go's on as the names pass by like card in a playing deck.
meaning your dealt what your dealt along the way.
Jokers and kings or queens alike.
Either you have the heart to play the game, or you fold before you regret it later on.

< Message edited by MasDom -- 1/20/2007 5:57:04 PM >

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RE: 'scheduled' Dominants & The Wall of Cant's - 1/20/2007 7:07:00 PM

HatesParisHilton

Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
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Following NOT directed at OP, since they just provided a link, as they said):

"Take my call when I want you to or you're a liar or cheater or married or all of the above or WORSE!"

wow, talk about topping from the bottom.

UH, what if the guy works for a TV affiliate? gets fired if so much of (---) isn't completed by deadline?

Or is a journalist for a newspaper? (same thing)

Is a practicing male nurse during the height of pneumonia season in an area with many older citizens? "Fuck your excuses! I don't CARE about the obituaries! You faked those in the paper just to not admit you're cheating on me! wahhhhhh!"

Yeah right. Poor MaleNurse Dom spent hours counterfeiting scrips of antibiotics and IV sheets JUST to cover his ass while he's spanking the ass of someone else at the hospital to fake YOU out. Uh huh. Yup. It's in the playbook of the "Secret Male Dom Cheaters" club. We all have to study it and learn the rigmarole before we go out to take over the world by making so many women miserable "just because".

Yup. and we all have trust funds or are secretly wealthy and never have to work a day in our lives, nor have family members that may be sick or dying just like the sub often has a kid or someone they look after that WE must be sympathetic towards. Nope, we all have a spare $100,000 in the bank, swiss bank accounts and twenty other women we never told you about even though we don;t have enough time in the day to even blink sometimes.

Oh wait, that last bit can't be true; we're doms. We not only have time, we have at least 16 hours per 24 hours to either do nothing but be there to reassure you or be labelled (insert "bad male type whatever" here). Even if the jobs we lie about having mean we'd be fired for taking that time. Very clever of us to lie about that job at the outset of interracting with the subbie so she had a chance to deal with it from the get go, clever to fake the honesty always demanded. I mean a good liar is one that lies in plain sight, right? Shit we're clever scumbags, right down to the CV or resume we showed you that no-one you know can dosprove, but that just means we're THAT GOOD at the 007 bullcrap.

Yup, we've been sprung, better book the flights to Columbia, lads, since the Secet Brotherhood of Lying Dom Cheaters has been outed, thanks to the timesheets and work invoices and "fake" families we "dont really" have even as we make allowances for the families of anyone wanting OUR time.

Because all subbies know we magically hatched from internet eggs and have no Mum's or Dads or Uncles or Siblings or bosses.

Time to hang up the floggers and paddles, boys, we're done.

Now yes, that was a bit sarcastic, but too bloody bad. and I might add this crap is the same crap in current vanilla relationships too, not just kinkster ones.

< Message edited by HatesParisHilton -- 1/20/2007 7:13:59 PM >

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