Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no

Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity

Message

slavebrandyj -> Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 5:39:29 PM)
I am asking for your opinion of those that play at play parties with others and not your own sub or Dom or Domme. Is caning, flogging, paddling or spanking sexual or just smme sort of recreation not to be confused with sex at all? I wanted to believe my past Domme, but my own study tells me what the experts have to say about it.

trinity46 -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 5:48:28 PM)
I can only speak for myself, but the simple answer is YES. It is sexual. If it wasn't I wouldn't be doing it. It is sexual for different reasons for different people, but it most definitely IS sexual.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 5:52:23 PM)
Its absolutely sexual. It is a turn on,usually for both parties involved. Wether or not anything is done about the arousal doesnt lessen the fact that it is there. DV

dcnovice -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 5:54:20 PM)
What's BDSM? I only come here for the political threads.

slavebrandyj -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 6:27:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dcnovice What's BDSM? I only come here for the political threads. I come here and ask a serious question and you come along with a nonsense response. it takes all kinds. Would not have been bad if you took the time to respond to the question after your unsolicited humor..if that's what you call it.

callofzion -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 6:29:22 PM)
"Unsolicited humor" ? Wow, I didn't realise tha humor was something that had to be solicited, you must be a real barrel of laughs.

LeMis -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 6:34:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dcnovice What's BDSM? I only come here for the political threads. [:D] This posted here at this forum: Polls and Other Random Stupidity

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 6:36:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj I am asking for your opinion of those that play at play parties with others and not your own sub or Dom or Domme. Is caning, flogging, paddling or spanking sexual or just smme sort of recreation not to be confused with sex at all? I wanted to believe my past Domme, but my own study tells me what the experts have to say about it. when i find out, you'll be among the next to know...LOL

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 7:34:01 PM)
Since pain makes me wet and excited. Yes spankings , whippings etc are sexual for me.

TigressOfDs -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 7:48:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire Its absolutely sexual. It is a turn on,usually for both parties involved. Wether or not anything is done about the arousal doesnt lessen the fact that it is there. DV Vampire, I'm not sure I agree with what you said, about being absolutely sexual, but more importantly for this particular thread I respect and appreciate your statement. Because for me a blend of D/s mixed with B/d is more of a mental utopia than a sexual one . I'd like to ad my own thoughts regarding this issue. Kinda long, so patience in getting to my point is appreciated. [:)] I recently met a “submissive” here on collarme. It started off nicely enough. I told him of my deal breakers “ No married men” and “no Lies”. He told me of his deal breaker “monogamy”, no “poly” relationships. We were both looking for a life partner relationship. For reasons beyond our control we weren’t able to meet in person for two months, but when we did, all our deal breakers and other various conversations were spoken again, just to make sure there was no misunderstanding. Months later, via a slip of the tongue, I find out he isn’t divorced. First it was “ all over but the Judges signature” … went from there to my misunderstanding what he had said, (even those his exact / type words the first time we communicated and throughout , were “my divorce”) , to he buried his head in the sand and didn’t tell me because he “ fell in love, and knew it would end” if the truth were told. Along with catching him in a few other lies (on web cam) I finally realized I just couldn’t fall in love with someone I couldn’t completely trust . In closing, he has since called me every derogatory name in the book. Telling me Im “sick” because I can allow a submissive that I’m not in love with to paint a room in my home in trade for a few minutes of hanging on my St. Andrews cross while wrapped in bondage tape, or allowing a cross dresser to clean my home in exchange for a few hours of dressing and enjoying something he would other wise not be able to. (No money, or sex is exchanged) Telling me it’s all about Sex and that he is a Man so he knows there is never a person who plays in Bd sm that isn’t after sex. Oh, and the best laugh his constant remark “ I’m not like other men” all the other wanna be submissives “lie to get what they want ”. Before I met the married guy, I was actually very active in my D/s B/d S/m community, and had a house boy(cross dresser) WITHOUT sex for over 7 years. So much for all those wannabe liars being after sex. So, I ask … {tongue in cheek} am I suppose to be having sex with all the people I enjoy a power exchange with ? Cause I’ve been enjoying this lifestyle for many, many years and no one ever told me that. Nor has a submissive in my tutelage ever requested it. Ms. Kat Listen carefully to what is said,take what you need,then blow the rest away with a breath of kindness. But always watch what they do, for in action there is always a clue. kd2003

slavebrandyj -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 9:02:40 PM)
Good points made. Yes, there may be some exceptions to the rule. The way you feel is one of them. But I would almost bet sexual feelings are in those that serve you. Just could be they are at least honorable or smart enough and in control of those feelings to not let you know. I would guess that is the case. But you wouldn't know. If they confessed sexual feelings, I bet they would be dismissed! As for what happened with you and the sub you mentioned. I can clearly see this is merely your side of it and does not have all the facts as he would see it. It's a shame that the both of you could not try harder to make your dreams come true. Makes me wonder whatever happened to forgiveness and understanding.

TigressOfDs -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 9:50:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj As for what happened with you and the sub you mentioned. I can clearly see this is merely your side of it and does not have all the facts as he would see it. It's a shame that the both of you could not try harder to make your dreams come true. Makes me wonder whatever happened to forgiveness and understanding. Those are the facts as they happened. I don't need to come on a message board and lie, embellish or make up a post ... geezzz [:@] As for forgiveness and understanding and trying harder to make dreams come true ... Dreams that come true are never built on lies or words that are so painful they can't be forgotten. Ms. Kat Listen carefully to what is said,take what you need,then blow the rest away with a breath of kindness. But always watch what they do, for in action there is always a clue. kd2003

RobertCloud -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 10:02:24 PM)
I disagree with you brandyj, There are times when a slave or submissive can serve a Dominant in a non-sexual way without arousal. I knew a gentleman slave that wished to serve me in such a manner as a caretaker of my property. He even wished that I control his sex life, but it was not sexual between him and I in anyway. He just had a deep respect for me as a Dominant and he had never met a Male Dominant that he respected as much as he did me. It was something new he wished to try. Had things been different I may have considered the possibility, but I was unable to consider it at the time. In the D/s dynamic and M/s dynamic many times it is the control in the mental state that is fulfilling. The arousal may or may not be there depending on the mood or the setting and what it being controlled. Menial tasks may not cause any arousal at all unless they are done in certain ways and designed to cause arousal. Housework done naked, or in scantily clad attire would be more arousing, than housework done in proper attire without the Dominant even present. Does it ever bring a sexual thought? Possibly... The male mind thinks of sex every so many minutes, and the female mind is not that far behind the male, so even without the BDSM involved the sexual thoughts would be there, does the BDSM provoke it, not necessarily, but just as likely it might. Less likely in a D/s situation that is 24/7 and in not in a scening session than in a scening session that is specifically being done with physical attributes. Yes, spanking, flogging, etc. will provoke arousal, and sometimes a simple command will do so. Sometimes a single word can do so as well. I was not even aware of a speach impediment that I have until I was speaking to one submissive on the phone. It seems that I have a way of pronouncing the letter "L" in certain words that over emphasizes it and really strikes her deeply. So the word "slut" would put her right on the edge everytime I said the word. She would beg me to roll my "L" the way I do.. I had never noticed it until her. So, that single word is so arousing to her that it puts her on fire and ready just speaking it. So anything can be arousing in the right context.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/21/2007 10:11:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj Is caning, flogging, paddling or spanking sexual or just smme sort of recreation not to be confused with sex at all? It's going to vary from person to person. A lot of it has to do with intent. Spiritual SM is often not erotic for me, unless we're working with sexual energy (i.e. sex magik for some people). A lot of it also has to do with whether or not I'm attracted to the person. I can work with someone for a cathartic flogging and not be aroused. There are some things, though, that MUST be sexual in order to work. Psychic feeding as a Vampire must be sexual and erotic for it to work for me. In the end, you can choose to trust, or not, what the person is telling you. How you feel about it might not be how they feel about it. Master Fire

BitaTruble -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/22/2007 1:45:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj I am asking for your opinion of those that play at play parties with others and not your own sub or Dom or Domme. Is caning, flogging, paddling or spanking sexual or just smme sort of recreation not to be confused with sex at all? Sometimes it's all about sex, sexuality and arousal, sometimes it's all about endurance or tolerance building, sometimes it's about creating art on a human canvas. There are combinations aplenty to go around and what it's all about is generally up to those who are actually participating. Celeste

LotusSong -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/22/2007 3:36:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj I am asking for your opinion of those that play at play parties with others and not your own sub or Dom or Domme. Is caning, flogging, paddling or spanking sexual or just smme sort of recreation not to be confused with sex at all? I wanted to believe my past Domme, but my own study tells me what the experts have to say about it. I have heard it defined as "sexual play without the sex"

Lashra -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/22/2007 4:34:20 AM)
For me and mine yes it is. If there wasn't sex involved frankly I doubt I'd be interested. I run my relationships so there is no variance there even if I was vanilla. I'm the Boss, thats just the way it is with me. ~Lashra

LadyEllen -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/22/2007 4:47:48 AM)
Between two people in a relationship, I'd say in most cases yes for both. Between two strangers at a party etc, I'd say in most cases yes for one or both. Sexual, or better perhaps erotic, but not sex. E

MissyRane -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/22/2007 4:50:13 AM)
IMHO and even though I've never tried it myself..yes it's definitely sexual

Gauge -> RE: Is BDSM play sexual ? Yes or no (1/22/2007 6:41:07 AM)
BDSM play is only sexual when it involves a large bucket of chicken from KFC. At least that was what I read in this month's issue of "Ground Control to Major Dom"

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125