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julietsierra -> RE: Sluts and Old Guard values (1/23/2007 4:28:54 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
In high school the guys who weren't getting laid called the girls who slept with others sluts and I think that is what many (certainly not all) who attempt to wrap themselves in the musty old guard cloak are doing. The rest of us who have partners aren't "real" we are just after kinky sex or watered down S&M, in other words, just sluts.
The more things change, the more they stay the same I guess. For me, S&M has always been about creating a unique synergy between me and my partner. That synergy is dynamic and changes over time and is lost when one or both of us moves on. I will only accept a strong, dynamic, and independent woman as my submissive and I will not shove her, nor myself, into some mold created by another, so kindly take your "old guard" and slip it where the sun doesn't shine. Instead I will create something new and magic with her alongside me on our own unique path and journey.
Y'know, what I find sad is that in the attempt prove we're NOT lumping everyone into one category, like those "old guard protocol-heavy" people do (whatever that means), there we are, lumping people into the category of not being concerned about protocol - and if someone DOES enjoy protocol and structure their lives around it, then of course, they're old and crusty and all those other sweet little adjectives people like to use to proclaim they're more accepting than those "old guard" folks - who of course, don't do things like THEY do.
The more people complain about things and set themselves up in comparison with others to proclaim which is better, the more people do exactly what they're complaining about.
My Master's been doing this for about 30+ years now. I won't call it "old guard" but he's been around for a while and like most people, regardless of when they entered this life, he generally upholds the views popular during the time he was first learning about this.
He's hard and he holds me to a standard that very few people we know are held to. This is something that for some reason, strikes a chord in me and thrills me to no end. We typically enjoy a higher protocol than a lot of our friends do even when we're engaged in such D/s things as fishing and swimming and going out to dinner. I know this, not because I'm comparing, but because I've fielded such questions as "How can you deal with this?" and "Is he always this way?" and most of the time, I don't even have a clue what they're talking about. The rest of the time, I walk around with this silly giddy look on my face.
When we spend out time at bdsm functions, we get to practice a higher protocol than we're commonly able to and do it without hiding. Note, I said a higher protocol than WE"RE usually able to enjoy, not a higher protocol than everyone else out there. We're not comparing ourselves. We just like what we do. This doesn't mean that those who do things differently than us are wrong. It just means that WE enjoy what we're doing.
We have some friends whose relationships are somewhat similar to ours. We enjoy doing things with them. But it doesn't mean he's forcing me into some strange pigeonhole or making me act in ways that are "not me." It doesn't mean I'm not independent or strong or whatever else is held up as a supposed contrast to those who DO live their lives like this. It just means this is what we do. Really! That's all it means.
Why is it so darned important to prove that one group is better than the other? I mean, when you go places is EVERYONE your friend? Or do you choose your friends so that they have common interests and common views and common goals in their lives? I am not necessarily going to choose for a friend someone who has nothing but disdain for myself, my Master or the way we live our lives. But while it's nice, they DON'T have to do things the way we do.
Oh...and Michael?
Generally speaking, classy, strong, dynamic and independent women rarely spend their time focusing on the people they come in contact with who spend inordinate amounts of time and energy feeding the negativity in their lives. They simply don't have the time and the inclination. You might want to consider that in your search.
juliet
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