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HatesParisHilton -> RE: Sluts and Old Guard values (1/23/2007 6:38:52 PM)
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Might I point out that all Old Guards (in any subset, or artistically speaking, in any genre or medium) were once the "New Guard"?
Impressionists?
Abstractionists?
"poly" is now "Old Guard", for jiminy cricket's sake.
LA, although I'm not taking sides here, "If you want to work off your negativity, go write bad poetry or get on an exercise bike. Don't start pointless rants in public." brings up a question:
don't tons of women on this site and others do that exact same thing, only they go off on "wahhhhh, he won't leave his spouse, wahhhh, he's not being romantic, wahhh, where's my monog romance alongside kink?"
don't those threads, especially when begun by a femsub or femslave, get a lot of support?
I'm not saying either should be supported or "poo poo'd". I will say that unless we have a tilt at the windmill of both gender versions of what's kinda the same complaint/comment you levied, we may not be on consistent or non double-standardized footing.
Michael's initial post seems little different to other "wahhhh" posts. I'm not saying his wasn't a "wahhh", just saying "pot, kettle, both black, both get the same crappy wait in line at the DMV", so to speak.
as for "sluts" or not, I have the same problem with the term as I do woth "love". They are both bandied about too much, too often and too carelessly, in kinkworld or nilla world.
I was with a BRILLIANT partner years ago who still touched me enough that I think of her fondly (yet sadly) at least once per 2 months (what can I say, Love and Lust at first sight can be a hard thing).
She'd been kinky for yonks, so had I. She was pretty honest in telling me (and I do not exaggerate this next bit, her exact words) "I've probably slept with over 2000 guys before you."
my reply? "okay, you've been busy. no worries."
"Do you think I'm a slut?"
I looked her right in her eyes, those HUGE BEAUTIFUL EYES (so big and beutiful she'd hit that cusp of "gorgeous" but one stwep further they'd have been freakish, eyes I can never forget and still miss, still long for), and answered with easy questions:
"Have you slept with any man or woman since you wanted us to be monog?"
"No."
"With anyone else in your life beforehand, did you sleep with anyone else apart from them when you and they had mutually agreed to be monog?"
"No."
"The bulk of these encounters were when you'd slept with someone and it simply didn;t work out, right?"
"Yes."
"Then no, you're not a slut. You're just very lucky in sex and very unlucky in romance. Here's hoping I'll make a difference in that last part."
And I MEANT that, and still stand by that. By common braindead meathead or bimbo standards, a woman stating she'd had that many partners would be "slutty".
But meathead and bimbo standards are what make sure teachers and nurses get paid 10% of what they are worth even if they save lives, and make sure that ghetto-ass malcontents can assault people and get away with it and be paid 2000% of what they should just because they can get a ball through a hoop or run "this many bases" or tackle so many other neanderthals within a 2 hour period.
and in the "old guard days" (though as I said above, I think that term is somewhere between fungible and a misnomer), "slut" might have been "one thing".
But these days, after what (for nilla and kinster) the "old Guard have made the lovelife and dating scene become?
No.
That's my opinion on "sluts".
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