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RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/23/2007 3:40:17 PM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

a few things - when i referred to "fun" i should have been clear i meant in a bdsm manner... yea theres been no *fun* since the job started[august], but this is a sacrifice i am willing to make until things settle down.

and yes we have talked about this matter, theres nothing specific we've been argueing [sp?] over, i am just His first live in gf and i think He is just adapting slowly.

thanks for the tips, while He doesnt like back rubs there are some good ideas to make the evening about Him.

I suggest patience, and making your desire for more play time known, but not overstated.
When you lived separate he was probably more geared to playing more because he'd planned that as part of your date.
Now he's got you there and he's not got to work so hard at planning evenings out I think it's just an adjustment period.
I really think you should voice you hope this time of not playing is due to the adjustment and not the way he intends to keep it as you long for his energy to wash over you again.
It sounds like you've got a good man that's just plain exhausted and adjusting to me.
My kids are not very transitional creatures. Ive noticed with them it takes about 3 months for them to settle into the swing of things once presented with a change that affects their day to day life as big as moving.
Trust him, have faith, talk without whining, and be patient.
You can get through this gracefully.
suzanne

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Post #: 21

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/23/2007 3:45:17 PM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PAsextoy4u

Ummmm can a man really eat a meal, without choking, if a submissive is between his legs giving him oral pleasure??? Inquiring minds want to know

Absolutely!!!
Eating, other than lol watching for bugs in chinese food (long story) isn't too hard or thought consuming.
Swallowing food is a natural reflex more than a concious thought.
Been there done that, love it!!
They can't drive very safely at the point of orgasm though. Been there, almost had accidents with two seperate guys more than once.

suzanne

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Post #: 22

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/23/2007 6:57:04 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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Let him know that you understand that the fireworks have faded. Now, you're looking for fireflies...the staple of any relationship. These are the little flares of love that keep you going. Ask him what little things you can do to make his evenings or days a little brighter. If he doesn't know, ask if its because he can't think of anything at the moment or if he doesn't want you to do more than what you're doing. If he can't think of anything, ask if you can try some stuff. If he says yes, you can find a books this time of year with titles like "100 ways to say I love you" and some such.

Master Fire

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Post #: 23

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/23/2007 10:34:35 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

What's the reverse of mysogynistic...?

Misandry. A word neatly swept under the rug and excluded in today's politically correct lexicon.

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Post #: 24

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/24/2007 7:52:08 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PAsextoy4u

Ummmm can a man really eat a meal, without choking, if a submissive is between his legs giving him oral pleasure??? Inquiring minds want to know

I dont know, but I was thinking that waking him up in the morning with a bj might be safer.

Oh my god, I just gave myself a delicious thought. Being used as an alarm clock.

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Post #: 25

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/24/2007 7:58:36 AM

marieToo

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From: Jersey
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Anyway...To the OP:

After talking to him and being assured that his intentions for you in his life have not changed, I would just relax, back down and give him the space he needs or wants, then just be there for him when he decides to beckon your ass.
I think ebbing and flowing with the whims of your D type is something that you might be able to view as an unselfish type of service to him. I'll probably get railed for that, but I personally find the idea of it to be extremely submissive. I feel that being a good S type can sometimes mean giving him space when he wants it, then being at his beck and call when he wants that.

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Post #: 26

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/24/2007 8:10:09 AM

ownedgirlie

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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PAsextoy4u

Ummmm can a man really eat a meal, without choking, if a submissive is between his legs giving him oral pleasure??? Inquiring minds want to know

Yes.

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Post #: 27

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/24/2007 10:15:48 AM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: PAsextoy4u

Ummmm can a man really eat a meal, without choking, if a submissive is between his legs giving him oral pleasure??? Inquiring minds want to know

Yes.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

You are SO bad in such a good way!

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marie.

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Post #: 28

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/24/2007 2:08:28 PM

GentlehandSTL

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Joined: 9/15/2006
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This is at it's core, the age old question:

What do you get a man who has everything?

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Post #: 29

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/24/2007 2:26:25 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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no nilla man, just a nilla anniversary - we evolved into M/s but we still celebrate the day our ordinary nilla live brought us together to form a couple :) lol

thanks for all the great insight i will have to come back and reread when i have more time to absorb

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Post #: 30

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/24/2007 2:46:38 PM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

He works long hard days

How many hours does he do?

Over 11 hours a day and i'll take a wild stab in the dark that this is the crux of the problem........all work and no play makes Jack a dull lad etc.

The usual answer here but it goes without saying you need to have a chat with him - better to cause initial confrontation than go on half-heartedly.

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Post #: 31

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/24/2007 8:00:51 PM

QuietlySeeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

What's the reverse of mysogynistic...?

Misandry. A word neatly swept under the rug and excluded in today's politically correct lexicon.

Thank you! I've never wondered this, but I'm glad I learned it.
No day is a waste, when you learn something....and today, you get the credit for that!

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Post #: 32

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/24/2007 9:29:28 PM

ownedgirlie

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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: PAsextoy4u

Ummmm can a man really eat a meal, without choking, if a submissive is between his legs giving him oral pleasure??? Inquiring minds want to know

Yes.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

You are SO bad in such a good way!

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Post #: 33

RE: looking for ways to make Him smile - 1/25/2007 8:57:26 AM

Aubre

Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PAsextoy4u

Ummmm can a man really eat a meal, without choking, if a submissive is between his legs giving him oral pleasure??? Inquiring minds want to know

You know, as the maker of this suggestion, I feel it is my responsibility to help discover the answer to this question. I will gladly offer myself as the maledom test subject to discover the truth about this. This idea should be tested as often as possible.

I know it is a sacrifice, but it is one I am willing to make for science and inquiring minds everywhere. I know, I'm a giver.

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Post #: 34