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Basics of Ds - 1/23/2007 8:46:45 PM

Argentopal

Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
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For those of you who are Dom or Domme or sub or slave or switch or Top or bottom or what ever/who ever you are for “awhile” now, do ever feel as if you have become jaded or have lost sight of what it was that made you passionate about it? If you are a long term couple, do you ever go through the “doldrums” and end up with no real “D/s” in your life for a period of time? I know in real life long term 24/7 D/s there are always family, health, job stress issues that can force the Ds to a back burner for a while. What I am looking for is a long period of time when there is no energy, no interest, no desire to be actively D/s. Like when you are married but there is really nothing there. You are still married, it’s just dull now. So, any great hints on getting back the joy? The desire? Actually I am going to lead a discussion group for 24/7 living together couples on this topic and I was hoping to find some ideas. Here is the posted topic information: Topic this month: Back to Basics During the holiday season we can get caught up is a whirlwind of activities and it’s easy to overindulge in many things. We go to too many parties, we eat too much, we spend too much money, we might imbibe a bit too much and at times all that can make us loose sight of the basic things in our life. Going “all out” in your Ds bdsm life can do the same thing. As our lives in general calm down this time of year and we try to get back to the basic clothes and activities and foods, let’s use this meeting to think about and discuss the basics that drew us to this life in the first place. What drew you to bdsm … to Ds or Ms? What drew you to each other? What has kept you together? When you start to loose sight of those basics, what can you do to get back there? How do you refocus as a couple and regain parts of your Ds that might have slipped away for a while? This will not be a “lecture” but a guided discussion that we hope everyone will take part in.

Thanks for any ideas,
MsOpal

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RE: Basics of Ds - 1/23/2007 8:50:09 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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For us we just spend quiet time snuggling together AND go on long car ride trips together. Car rides for us mean lots of time sharing CDs, time to just talk to eachother stuck in the car, and that we're literally going on a journey together.

When we can't go on a trip, we take time every day to snuggle in bed together- either right after we're both home from work, or after dinner. Just quiet time for US to snuggle and reconnect physically.

And we keep trying new things TOGETHER. There's so many places out there- restaurants, clubs, music, concerts, clubs, people. If you take one foot out the door, you never know where you will end up (to steal a phrase).

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RE: Basics of Ds - 1/23/2007 9:07:21 PM

michaels4evr

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Joined: 8/8/2006
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:::Waves frantically to opal::: I am.glad to see that CTC is alive and kicking! We are going through this right now as we have been tied up by twin aliens for the past ten months. For us, its literally a matter of time and energy..when we do get a night off and we are anticipating engaging in some wicked play-sometimes the most we can do is snuggle up together, or maybe take in a movie. However, we did have a recent houseguest..a good sub friend of ours..(and yours)..from Austin come a few weeks ago..and boy did we have a great weekend! Lots of rope..and poetry..

all my love to you and Argent!
-michael's

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RE: Basics of Ds - 1/23/2007 9:33:10 PM

MsOpal

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Joined: 8/31/2006
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Hey there michael's! It was fun seeing your picture here! Can you believe CTC ... 9 years !!! "Twin aliens" - I love it! Those little things do tend to put a damper on things, don't they! Gosh< I loved mine and I love the next generation of 'em, but I am soooooo glad to be done with that! You desreve much admiration for doing it all again, with two!

I am thinking maybe sometime a CM in Texas weekend party might be fun! Our best to Michael. ** I love telling the story about 5th Angel and the gun and him saying to you ... "there's no one here you'd like to shoot, is there?"
Take care,
hugs ~ Opal

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RE: Basics of Ds - 1/23/2007 10:01:50 PM

MasterNdorei

Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
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i am not ignoring the original post, but Master and i have not had this happen (knocking real hard on wood as i say this). i am not sure if it is because Master is so consistent and there are so many little things we do daily, that keep the dynamic alive for U/us, or if it hasn't been long enough for the vanilla aspects to weasel in (W/we've only been together for about a year and a half), but it has not been a problem for U/us. Still i am eager to read people's resolutions, as being forewarned is forearmed...

What i really want to know is the rest of the story.... come on Ms Opal or Michael's... You can't leave us hanging like that! :D

Master's dorei

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RE: Basics of Ds - 1/23/2007 10:10:04 PM

michaels4evr

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Well dorei..it's a funny ending..I was at the event with my new Master..and as i scanned the room..pistol in hand...my ex Master/hubby was also there..and He promptly got up and made His way to the door! LOL We are all great friends now btw...

and similarly opal..i loved telling folk about your piercing..i was soo thrilled for you..you looked awesome!

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