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in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to Dom a sub beyond level of attractiveness


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in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to Dom a... - 1/23/2007 9:01:27 PM   
thaimeeuppppp


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		many speak of what turns them on about someone or what they look for. I am curious about what turns you OFF, personality wise about a sub
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/23/2007 11:16:43 PM   
Totalmaster4you


Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		To answer your question you need to define your parameters better for example did you meet at the grocery store or a BDSM exhibition? How long have you known the person? You understand what I mean. But maybe I can partly answer you. many people think of mental bondage as a separate subset. I think that there is a mental aspect to every part of BDSM. So the critical part that makes a good slave/sub good or a bad slave/sub bad is their attitude. Looks generally don't change so what is it that changes a relationship? It's the attitude.

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 2:10:16 PM   
GentlehandSTL


Posts: 44
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		Voice...

Several women I got to 'phone call' stage, I got turned off by their voice.

Oh well.

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 2:34:33 PM   
tade


Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline 		Had to kind of chuckle at the "level of attractivness" part. I have topped more than a few women that probably would be passed over by alot of men because of that reason that were all  Hellfire and Brimstone once you got them worked up. Then again attractive can mean different things to different people.

Attitude goes a very long way with me., both for the better and for worse. I can work through just about anything except for anything done half-assed. That and punctuality... ;)

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(in reply to GentlehandSTL)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 3:09:06 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Too much talking. I am generally a quiet person in RL and find silence to be enjoyable. Not that I want someone who cant carry on a conversation, but someone who talks twice as much as I do or takes 30 minutes to tell a 3 minute story is extremely, extremely irritable to me. Of course, this is behavior I have no problem at all striving to correct =P, but it can easily be a deal breaker for me.

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(in reply to tade)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 3:17:28 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		For me it is everything that I would consider in any sort of relationship, compatibility, maturity, health issues, ability to function like a responsible adult. I don't see that is has to be, or even should be, any different.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to tade)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 3:21:27 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Wow, this one is easy.
I will not dom anyone who has no personality. Anyone who cannot make an independant decision if they are told to do so.  I cannot dom someone I do not trust, and I prefer not to dom someone who cannot hold up a conversation before or after we play.
Attractiveness aside, I wil also steer clear of anyone who has a major ego about what a wonderful submissive they are, or who seems to think that the best way to get my attention is to badmouth someone else to make themselves look better.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 4:02:56 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Disobedience would turn my Lord off, so would manipulation, lying, being close-minded and having an overall negative attitude.

Knight's kyra 

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 4:52:30 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		in terms of attractiveness, for me, it either is or isn't. there are awesome people that i've gone out with and even moved to the bedroom stage with, but i just couldn't get into them for whatever reason.

for Him, i know that lying, especially, as well as disobedience and closemindedness are huge turnoffs. He is also very interested in sex and spirituality, dominance and the body/mind/spirit connection, so someone whose spirituality was dogmatic and rigid would probably not click well with Him. He definitely doesn't care for attitude, brattiness, or immaturity.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 5:36:09 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		The inherent quick answer is to say 'nothing' outside of unattractiveness, but that's not quite true.

I've seen some other answers include attitude/brattiness/the like.  Sure, that's annoying at first, but part of the process of the power exchange can be behavior modification.

But there are some other traits that are not quick to change and much more of an obstacle.

Being someone you cannot trust.  Someone who steals.  Liars.  These people come with a different set of issues that a relationship of this sort isn't going to make go away.

Anything else seems like gravy.  You like it?  You make it want to go away?  Simple.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 5:51:26 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Writing or speaking poorly in a way not due to English being their second language or other understandable issues.

Attitude and maturity.

Being focused on a physical kink or looking for sex from me.

Inability to follow directions.

Rudeness to myself or others.

Lack of proper hygeine.

Homophobia/anti-LGBT.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 1/24/2007 5:53:11 PM >

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 6:44:13 PM   
angaothsi


Posts: 242
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Good answers, but if I may ask, what does LGBT stand for?

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He says she is immodest; Blames her amiss; What follows more, she murders with a kiss

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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 7:51:02 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angaothsi

Good answers, but if I may ask, what does LGBT stand for?


Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual.

(in reply to angaothsi)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 7:53:45 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		You know, Rumpus, I have to agree with the poor english part as well.  Someone who cannot communicate well becasue they are not trying, or not intelligent enough to.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 8:01:02 PM   
NightWindWhisper


Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline 		A substance abuse problem; inability to define appropriate boundaries, and meanness.  These are the kiss of death.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 8:21:41 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angaothsi

Good answers, but if I may ask, what does LGBT stand for?


As MaryT said, with a slight correction:  Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered.


(in reply to angaothsi)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 11:10:27 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Whinning and begging way beyond what is called for pisses Me off.
I have hung up on them mid-sentence when they have that crap going on.

If they dont follow instructions,a 1st time visit is one thing,but continous
misbehaving is grounds for dismissal.

I want to be Respected/Adored but there is a point where its a little too extreme.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/24/2007 11:38:27 PM   
angaothsi


Posts: 242
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Ahh thank you, both RumpusParable and MaryT, I had correctly guessed the first two, I guess comman sense should have filled in the other two. But,I like to be able to keep up with what everyone is talking about and I would rather ask then make an ass of myself *grins*

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He says she is immodest; Blames her amiss; What follows more, she murders with a kiss

(in reply to RumpusParable)
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RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/25/2007 7:13:33 AM   
smirkingsheep


Posts: 45
Joined: 1/5/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Too much talking. I am generally a quiet person in RL and find silence to be enjoyable. Not that I want someone who cant carry on a conversation, but someone who talks twice as much as I do or takes 30 minutes to tell a 3 minute story is extremely, extremely irritable to me. Of course, this is behavior I have no problem at all striving to correct =P, but it can easily be a deal breaker for me.

What if someone doesn't talk a lot but still takes 30 minutes to tell a 3 minute story, because they're pausing for 10 minutes between each phrase? 



(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: in your experience , what makes you decide NOt to D... - 1/25/2007 7:24:16 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		That nick is fuckin' gangbusters!!!!!

LOLOLOL,
Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to smirkingsheep)
Profile   Post #: 20
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