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The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 2:25:36 PM   
Ph0enixF1re


Posts: 91
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		I had an interesting exchange with a young slave who didn't think it was possible for a slave to act demure and ladylike while in public.  My response to this is: If you are in a complete power exchange relationship, shouldn't you strive to act in whatever manner your Master dictates?  If He/She demands that you carry yourself a certain way, isn't it incumbent upon you to do your best to be that way, even if it conflicts with your basic instincts?  The assumption in this situation is that a failure to act or carry yourself as the Master demands will be met with correction, both by word or look in the public venue, and later by discipline in private.

Any thoughts on the matter?
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 2:34:45 PM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		As a Dom my perspective is identical to yours.  What to hell good is a slave that you cant take out in public.... The appearence of the slave is a direct reflection of the master and in my opinion that makes the slaves appearence / attitude / posture and manerisms paramount after all you wouldnt take your dog to a show if it couldnt behave on leash now would you.

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 2:36:34 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		ours are expected to act like ladys ourside the home and honor us with their actions at all times..BH

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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 2:36:44 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		My personal reaction? Generally, I wouldn't consider slave who disobeys her master to act non-ladylike as much in the way of obedient. In personal experience, I find that if I must disobey in terms of public behavior it is to be more ladylike and not involve the non-consenting public (though it has never been an issue with my dominant and I). However, at all times I try to present myself as a credit to my dominant and if he wished for me to be more ladylike, then I would endeavor to do so.

By the way, for clarity, what do you mean by ladylike and unladylike? It's a bit hard to say without specifics.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 2:41:39 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Was she saying it was impossible for ALL slaves or for HER?

Nothing is impossible...but some things are against our habitual nature. If she finds it truly difficult to be that way, then she needs to find a Master who will appreciate who she is naturally. I'd not dress a butch in an evening gown, for example.

Master Fire


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(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 2:42:10 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am going to say that the young woman in question is probably rather clueless and looking for an excuse for bad manners and behaviour.

Fortunately you know this now and can move on to look for someone more suited to your tastes and lifestyle.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 2:44:32 PM   
IvyP


Posts: 43
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline 		Master says, No Matter What...my actions should Honor Sir Always....i know everyones' perception is different on what Honor is....so i try my best to Honor Sir in reguards to Sirs' wishes, be it in public, or private....which i admit i am struggling w/ the private one....meaning when i am alone.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 2:53:20 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		All things are possible with the right Master.....lol

If my Master wanted to change me hugely, I'd wonder why he took me on in the first place. I'd feel the same if I was with a vanilla chap.

Why CHOOSE a slave/sub/property/ whatever .........that isn't the way you'd like in the first place?


agirl

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 2:54:20 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Quick reply
I always act ladylike in public it is how i was raised.  Master is always proud to be seen with me in public.  If Master did not want me to act ladylike in public now that wold be a problem for me.  Reminds me of a rap song i heard one line is "A lady in the street but a freak in the bed".  Well maybe not a freak but i think you can get the gist.  My actions reflect on my Master so i will always do what i can to make him proud of me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to IvyP)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 2:55:13 PM   
Ph0enixF1re


Posts: 91
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		We never really got into a discussion as to specific behaviors.  I told her that I would want someone to act "ladylike," which I know is a bit vague, and her reply was "I cannot act like a lady, I am a slave!"  The question of what constitutes "ladylike" behaviours is a discussion for another post I think.

(in reply to IvyP)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 3:01:49 PM   
Coupleseeking321


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		Well if she's a slave as she claims then she should act  the way you want her to. Being a slave doesn't mean you can't act like a lady the two aren't mutually exclusive.I don't get this chick's logic here.

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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 3:08:38 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I am a touch confused.  Why exactly would the actions of a slave be against being ladylike?  From the fem slaves I have kept, being demure and ladylike were second nature to a well behaved slave.  A slaves place is to be whatever her or his master or mistress dictates. If I tell Angel he is to be ladylike, then HE will be, becasue I have said so. There is no such thing as "I cannot do as Master wishes becasue I am a slave."  Thats exactly wht you should do everythingin your power t do as you are told.
She needs a bit of a reality check, id believe that she has in her head that she is going to act like one of the porn star slaves, in private and in public. A lot of beginners who are so deep into the fantasy that htey havent come across the rality yet go through that. 

Good luck, reality checks for the far gone in fantasy arent always easy
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

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If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

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VampiresLair

(in reply to Coupleseeking321)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 3:08:40 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think you're right.  You need to know what she thinks ladylike means in terms of behavior.  It may be that you two are on the same page after all.

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 3:09:33 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Everyone changes the way they act to a certain extent when they are in public.
We only act very naturally when with our partner and or alone.
It would be pretty impossible to instruct someone to behave exactly as they would in private when in public.
I would suggest even BDSM public.
Perhaps very very close BDSM friends.
If the slave can't be appropriate then I suggest they have a problem.
One which could be sorted through behavioural modification I'm sure.
I agree that what constitutes 'ladylike' is a bit of a problem.
Bad choice of words I think. Especially as I am sure some actual ladies don't have a clue how to act appropriately.

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 3:24:01 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		It would probably be easier to act a little more demure and ladylike once she took the buttplug out.

Just a thought.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 3:40:36 PM   
SlaveAkasha


Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I guess I don't undertand what being a slave has to do with having manners.  Can she not stand to wear panties and walk upright instead of on her knees?  I know a great many subs and slaves..and I can't say that any of them don't carry themselves with grace and dignity when out in public.  I am sure if we go to a play party, perhaps I would dress and act different than what I do in "normal" settings, but I still find don't find that any less ladylike than the way I am otherwise.
 
Kasha

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(in reply to mstrjx)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 4:00:03 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
...looking for an excuse for bad manners and behaviour.


I understand what you're getting at here, BUT, not acting in a lady like manner isn't necessarily BAD manners or behavior. Sometimes, it's downright necessary to not behave shy and demur. But, if the intent behind this is for her to ditch being polite in polite society, certainly that IS looking for an excuse.

Again, I really think it's about her finding someone who matches her. If she has a way that she feels comfortable acting, it behooves her to either change or find someone who accepts that behavior. Of course, if she's wanting for someone to "tame" her, she needs to be aware of that and state it, too.

Master Fire - rather unlady-like at times. It get's the lawn mowed.


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 4:03:14 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		he doesn't require me to act in any particular way in public (although he expects me to conform to social convention), but i try to carry myself with grace, and yes, be ladylike. i'm not quite sure where being a slave conflicts with being ladylike in public...maybe if you could ask her to elaborate on what she means by that, and let us know, i could give a more detailed comment. i can't see why a master WOULDN'T wish a (female) slave to be ladylike in public.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 4:05:38 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Very true, I was looking at the topic from a narrow perspective. Lord knows I can get down and dirty with the best of them but I also clean up pretty fair and can hold my own in even the most polite (and boring) social setting.

I guess it just all depends on each of our perspective of what the OP meant by the term "ladylike". I had a vision similar to what DV mentioned, the pornstar slave.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 4:17:38 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ph0enixF1re

We never really got into a discussion as to specific behaviors.  I told her that I would want someone to act "ladylike," which I know is a bit vague, and her reply was "I cannot act like a lady, I am a slave!"  The question of what constitutes "ladylike" behaviours is a discussion for another post I think.


A bit of a stretch here, but the sub you were speaking to might equate "ladylike" with the clichéd "Grand Dams" of the South... with a haughty and imperious attitude.  Or even simply the expectations of chivalrous behavior on your part... opening doors for her, pulling out her chair, standing in honor of her presence when she enters a room.  She might consider these types of ladylike behavior to be outside the realm of appropriate slave behavior.


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Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you".

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