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Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 7:23:21 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		The longer i'm involved in a r/l 24/7 D/s relationship, the more i comprehend the difference between fantasy and reality. First, let me clarify that what i'm expressing is my experience and my opinion only and is not intended as anything other than that.
 
i've heard the word training used often and some even wear a "training collar" so i'm curious as to what that means to all of Y/you. For me, i'm starting to comprehend training as the period of time when the resistance to a Master's or Mistress's ideas and desires lessens. Ideas about "what is a Master, what is a slave", etc. etc. are surrendered in favor of learning what one's Master or Mistress actually does want and need.
 
In my discussions with other slaves and Doms, i realized that oftentimes (and i've done this too) *grin*,  a slave approaches a relationship full of preconceived ideas about what being a slave is and that we are going to "show" O/our Dominant just what a wonderful slave we are by doing it "our way". Dominants find themselves in this horrendous power struggle, much to the confusion of the slave who sincerely believes they know what they're doing.
 
Chairman is very kind, loving and caring. Most of the time He acts pretty much like, well - Chairman - not what my keen little mind thinks of when it conjures up an image of a Master. In addition He's lenient at times, strict at other times, playful and enjoys my feistiness to a point. He finds my intelligence and opinions beneficial to Him and so, oftentimes i can "feel" like this is not a D/s relationship at all. WRONG. It very much is. The fact is it's developing His way, not according to all my fantacized ideas of what it's "supposed" to feel and look like.
 
i've finally understood why so many insist that no one but the Owner can train their possession because no one else is them.  So i'm just interested to hear what others have learned and experienced in regard to D/s training.

< Message edited by slavemaia -- 1/24/2007 7:24:26 PM >

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She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia
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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 7:29:49 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline 		Well, IME, training is what doesn't happen when a dom can't or won't communicate.

As far as I know, a training collar is used to teach pups who will some day be in a show.

(in reply to slavemaia)
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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 7:38:32 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I don't use the term Training Collar. Yes, there are subtleties that only I can train a person for, like how I like my t-shirts folded (which is VERY particular), but there are some generalities that a sub/slave can learn on their own...such as cooking, cleaning or how to be a good lover. What most people seem to use the Training Collar as, if they're not using it as an excuse for free online porn or a fuck on the side in real time, is a trail period. A kind-of "try before you buy" thing. Not a bad idea. After all, we date in the vanilla world...this is kinda what it means to me.   In my world, this is called a Preliminary Collar...'cause I have to be different and I don't like the stigma that goes with the term "Training Collar".

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 7:43:11 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I dont believe in the different degrees of a collar.  For me its all or nothing.  Training, however, is an ongoing process where the sub im with learns what is expected of them on a longer term basis. They can learn things like what I consider protocols and proper ways to be addressed to how to live with the rules I lay down. Training, however, is not a temporary situation.  Its constantly gong on, with Angel and I at least. And it is a somewhat 2 way street, I learn about him as he trains for me.

My 2 cents
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 8:09:27 PM   
NightWindWhisper


Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline 		Training can be two people who share a fantasy where one is erotically aroused by "training" one who is erotically aroused by the idea of being "trained."

At it's worse, it's cunning, often married men who convince a susceptible submissive that they are "worthless" without being trained, and so to be of value they "must" be properly trained.  Unfortunately in my book the appetizer is an important part of the meal, and by being "trained" the trainee just gave away something of incredible value to someone who will just move on to cut a notch in the stock of another trainee. 

If you love the idea of "being trained," then fine.  But please never fall for the crap line of "without proper training you are worthless."  Exploration, between an experienced dominant and a submissive, or between a new dominant and submissive, can be sublime--why waste it?


(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 8:13:55 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I dont believe in the different degrees of a collar.  For me its all or nothing. 


I went back and forth about this for a while, too. Then, I thought about how we work long-term relationships. First, we date, then we're engaged, then we have some sort of lasting commitment. I decided to do something similar with collars. Just a personal view; I totaly get the all or nothing thing.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 8:17:57 PM   
lucreziaborgia


Posts: 28
Status: offline 		Please! Quit with the Y/you and O/our.

If master uses these phrases - he needs training wheels on his Harley.

Other than that : sounds like a happy couple!

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 8:27:39 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Most people in Ds completely suck at training/behavior modification/long term goal setting.  They have no concept of the foundations of such things and no motivation or understanding of how to shape them well for the future.

But they like how it sounds- specially ones who want to make each stage of a relationship sound cooler.  Training for me never stops, it's not a "stage" of a relationship, it flows constantly within the relationship.

For me, training is focused change in behavior and thought processes over time.

And it has nothing to do with what collar a person may or may not wear.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_722607/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#722635
submissive training

http://www.collarchat.com/m_629136/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#629145
slave training?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_583697/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#583741
Training

http://www.collarchat.com/m_583084/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#583098
On training

http://www.collarchat.com/m_503499/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#503734
training collar


http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#124898
Wearing training collar in public

http://www.collarchat.com/m_81449/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#81449
What are the collar types/levels please?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_70392/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#70392
Collars and collaring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_59686/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#59686
Color of collars?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#428
What is your definition of a training collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_402/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#402
Multiple collars or single collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_450097/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#450103
types of training



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 9:20:56 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		LA used the term I most associate with - behavior modification. I am not afraid of or put off by the term "train."  I was trained at work, after all.  Trained to drive my car.  Trained on various software.  And so on.  My Master trained me to be a slave to his liking, while bringing out the best me there was to offer.  I learned to think, to analyze, to love myself, to multi task, to take care of myself, to write well, and to find my inner strength and beauty.  I learned to be comfortable in my body, to speak with confidence, and to be diligent and resourceful when I'm up against brick walls.

I also learned patience, and how to be calm under pressure or stress.  I learned how he likes to be spoken to, while still being able to express myself completely.  I learned to please him - physically and mentally.  I learned to shed hoards of baggage which chained me to my past.  I learned to forgive.  I learned to let go.  I learned to trust.

Then of course there are specific tasks I was trained to do, which please him, amuse him and/or arouse him.

There are lots of things a slave can learn from her Master.  I asked my Master to train me as his slave.  And I was grateful he agreed.  I did not receive a training collar, however.  I was under consideration while he explored me and began to teach me.  The only collar I received was months after ownership, and I begged for it.  In all that he has trained me, I have become a better person, over all.  Had I run from the word "train," I would have missed out on an awful lot.

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 9:51:22 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		my mention of a training collar was just in passing. i guess i wasn't real clear in my post. my objective here was more to learn about others' experience with the change you go through from training or behavior modification.  i'm finding my experience very illuminating to say the least.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 9:54:36 PM   
prettichinadoll


Posts: 35
Joined: 12/16/2005
Status: offline 		I think Training is more of a "learning experience". It's like in school, you learn knowledge and skills. In this BDSM "training", the sub learn about dom's likes and dislikes, his rules, the little this and that about him. And the doms learn about their sub too, what she prefer, her habit, her personality, what she does best, what she needs improve, what she wants to achieve in life...It's a two way street, as everything in this lifestyle, or any relationship, you take something you get something.

When I first heard the word "training", i feel that it's such an "impersonal" and cold word. As if there's a set of courses, tests, all kinds of stricted rules I have to learn. Later I figure out, (from my experience only), that training is very personal, very individualized. I don't think there's actually a "well trained", "ready to go" slave out there ready to serve any given Dom. BDSM is not photoshop, you got trained, and you can use all the photoshop on any PC or Mac. BDSM is so personal, everyone has their own rules. So when I read subs write in their profile saying their "well trained", I replaced the word with "a lot of experience and knowledge of various styles".

But, I want to briefly mention the professional slave market (I'm not talking about fiction. and yes, they do exist somewhere, although I never see one, but I talked to someone who has been many of them, and I fully trust his credibility). I think in the professional field there's actually a whole set of rules of how a slave should act, what kind of skill he/she should process, what's the prefered position....and stuff like that. So...in a way, i guess you could get "trained" and be ready for people who accept the credibility of your trainer and his "training program" so to speak.

Edit to add "training collar" part:

I don't believe in "training collar". For me, a collar is just like a wedding ring, you don't wear a "training ring", why "training collar" make any sense? I don't mind put on play collars, but training collar....It's just personal opinion, but that's just not my thing.

< Message edited by prettichinadoll -- 1/24/2007 9:56:35 PM >

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Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 9:55:00 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lucreziaborgia

Please! Quit with the Y/you and O/our.

If master uses these phrases - he needs training wheels on his Harley.

Other than that : sounds like a happy couple!


Hmmm and so i ask why does the capitalization bother you? It's something i do as a practice in focus and mindfulness.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 9:58:20 PM   
prettichinadoll


Posts: 35
Joined: 12/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lucreziaborgia

Please! Quit with the Y/you and O/our.

If master uses these phrases - he needs training wheels on his Harley.

Other than that : sounds like a happy couple!


You're not her Master, what give you the right to ask her do or quit anything? Please, show a little respect.

_____________________________

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 10:02:37 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, i'm finding my "training" is more along the lines of what prettichinadoll and ownedgirlie are saying. Perhaps the word train is what threw people a bit. It's basically just the awarenesses i'm coming to as a result of the interactions with my Master. i used to think there were a set of rules that all Dominants used to "train" their sub/slave. That idea, along with many many others, is what is changing.


_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to prettichinadoll)
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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 10:14:09 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavemaia

Yes, i'm finding my "training" is more along the lines of what prettichinadoll and ownedgirlie are saying. Perhaps the word train is what threw people a bit. It's basically just the awarenesses i'm coming to as a result of the interactions with my Master. i used to think there were a set of rules that all Dominants used to "train" their sub/slave. That idea, along with many many others, is what is changing.



I did, too.  I remember coming to present myself to my Master for the very first time, and telling him I was nervous because I didn't know the "proper protocol."  He said "I will tell you whatever you need to know, slut."  And that was something I loved about training with him.  He was very clear in teaching me just how he preferred things, so I could not fail in pleasing him.

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 10:24:21 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I did, too.  I remember coming to present myself to my Master for the very first time, and telling him I was nervous because I didn't know the "proper protocol."  He said "I will tell you whatever you need to know, slut."  And that was something I loved about training with him.  He was very clear in teaching me just how he preferred things, so I could not fail in pleasing him.


Same for me.  Even though i had been a submissive for more than 25 years and to 4 previous Doms, i had never been a 24/7 slave before and i was afraid that i would bring bad habits with me and not behave the way a "properly trained slave" should.  But, very quickly, Master made it clear that i was already the slave that He wanted and that i was already perfectly able to serve His needs, without needing any training.  All i needed was for Him to tell me what He wanted me to do and how He liked things done.  i did what He said and that was it, end of "training".

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/24/2007 10:29:45 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Training...  to me it means the unending molding of a slave into the perfect tool, perfect servant.  It never ends because life and people never cease to change.  Sometimes much instruction is needed, sometimes little; it fluctuates by the needs of the time.

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/25/2007 5:22:41 AM   
bearincuffs


Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		For the most part, I agree with what your concept and meaning of training is.
My own comprehension on training is based upon what I'm currently going through now. My Master is guiding, teaching, molding and reshaping my life to be better suited as a slave for His wants and needs.
The overall purpose is to reshape my wants and needs to be His wants and needs, how I think and the way I think is gradually being resturctured to focus on Him and less about myself. In this process, most of my fears, misconceptions and insecurities are being erased. And all through this, I become a better person, more enlightened and a greater sense of freedom even though I am His property now.
 
 

_____________________________

property of Master Dave of the House of Gemini

An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/25/2007 5:53:31 AM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Training refers to the acquisition of knowledge, skills, and competencies as a result of the teaching of vocational or practical skills and knowledge that relates to specific useful skills.
From Wikipedia

I see no need to attempt to try and re-define or alter that which is already quite clear and simple to understand.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

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RE: Training - what is it? - 1/25/2007 6:26:59 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		D/s training IOM is when a sub slave is being conditioned to give up her resistance and trust the Dominant is making these changes because he has her best interest at heart.
It's also a time of learning the exact ways this Dominant expects to be served and obeyed.
Sometimes training is done by one other than a sub/slave's Master.
This is to familiarize a sub with a certain service or technique for her own purposes so she'll have that skill in the event one day Her own Dom would want to utilize it.
Training can also be repeating an action till it becomes a habit you don't have to think about doing, itjust becomes how you respond by rote.
Over all training is learning, conditioning, and breaking down self imposed barriers IMO.
suzanne

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