inexperienced subby,with alot of ideas..how far can i go first time round?

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inexperienced subby,with alot of ideas..how far can i g... - 3/3/2005 12:17:55 PM

scarletribbon

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/3/2005
Status: offline

alrighty, after my decisions on forgetting my past, and looking forward...putting on the funky boots, and cracking the crop once more...well thing is I've befriended a new guy, very interested in the games we play. we've getting on real well, seem to share alot of likenesses (thank you suze and sarah for this), and it would seem that if things keep going as good, its gonna happen. but hes so very new, never done it, but is interested in loads of stuff.

so can you give me a rough idea of how far i should go on first sessions, do i keep them short and concentrate on just a few things, and slowly introduce stuff. I'm getting an idea of what hes interested in, but no idea how he's gonna deal with it in reality.

I'm only concerned and voicing this here cos he's not just my friend, he's someone new and I dont wanna spoil it, or hurt him, or make a fool of him or whatever.

so just asking for a bit of your knowlegde, as i know you have so much to give.

cheers thanks alot x scarlet

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RE: inexperienced subby,with alot of ideas..how far can... - 3/3/2005 2:23:10 PM

MadameBette

Posts: 62
Joined: 9/8/2004
From: Long Island, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: scarletribbon
...hes so very new, never done it, but is interested in loads of stuff.

so can you give me a rough idea of how far i should go on first sessions, do i keep them short and concentrate on just a few things, and slowly introduce stuff. I'm getting an idea of what hes interested in, but no idea how he's gonna deal with it in reality.

I'm only concerned and voicing this here cos he's not just my friend, he's someone new and I dont wanna spoil it, or hurt him, or make a fool of him or whatever.

I applaud you for your caution and concern for your friend.

Whenever I’ve played with someone ‘brand new’, I usually do a light session, using a ‘smorgasbord’ if you will, approach.

I never use real bondage for the first time.
Instead, I prefer ‘mental’ bondage. I make him lie down and give him two positions that he must keep his arms in, - either out to his sides, or above his head. This is not as threatening as being tied up.
I do like a blindfold.

You say you have an idea of what piques his interest. Use those ‘toys’ first.
If he has expressed an interest in floggers, make sure you ‘warm him up’ first. A light spanking, etc.
Make sure he knows he has a ‘safeword’. I use ‘red’ to stop the play, but ‘yellow’ means ‘pause’. Ask him frequently if he’s ‘okay’.
I like to use a combination of sensation and percussion.
In addition to floggers et al, use fur, feathers, ice, and depending on the person, maybe a few drips of candle wax. Scratch, tickle, spank, pinch his nipples.

Don’t make the play go on too long. My first mentor said, “Always leaving them wanting more, and you won’t go wrong.”
Don’t forget the aftercare, and when he’s ready, do a ‘show and tell’. Let him see what you’ve used and let him tell you what he liked, …felt good, or he could do without...

Have fun! Play safe!

~ Bette

(in reply to scarletribbon)

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RE: inexperienced subby,with alot of ideas..how far can... - 3/5/2005 9:45:29 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

As Bette said, the session is better ending before he's had his fill. Other lighter things to try: spanking by hand, hair pulling, light humiliation such as having him tell you what a slut he is, how he'll even kiss your feet for the privilege of being with you, then have him kiss your feet.) a couple of clothespins on the nipples for a short time, gentle patting of the balls, grabbing his cock, lightly squeezing and telling him to tell you who it belongs to.. if he says him, squeeze a little harder till he gets the answer right. Remember, being new, even having to undress for you and display himself will seem like a huge deal. Making him bend over and spread his cheeks so you can see his butthole will probably leave him light headed. Rub a knuckle over it while he is bent and tell him how vulnerable he is. Play up the mental aspect. Make him tell you over and over that he wants to give himself to you. Tell him to feel it deep inside... to realize that he was born to serve and here is his chance. Find out what some of his fantasy ideas are and throw a few light versions of them into the session. If he is interested in forced bi or strappie play, make him kiss a dildo. If he is into bondage, wrap a tie or sash from a bathrobe around his wrists in a loose figure 8 (you're going for symbolic rather than restraint with this one.)

Good luck and have fun!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to scarletribbon)

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RE: inexperienced subby,with alot of ideas..how far can... - 3/13/2005 11:13:56 PM

VictoriaStCyr

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/4/2005
Status: offline

Hello,

I always enjoy a novice and start them out slow paying close attention to their verbal & body language and offering a safe word. I like to offer a "pu pu platter" (sp?) if you will, (or as another Mistress on here said, smorgasbord) of a variety of things based on my conversation with them prior to our session. I will ask what fantasies they have had , what are they curious about that prompted them to call Me for a session. I ask if they have any boundaries and health conditions I should know about. And of course I have to agree with all the ladies on here, give them a hunger for more - there is plenty of time to try more and progress.

Good luck and if you have any questions I'm always glad to help.

Mistress Victoria

(in reply to scarletribbon)

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