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How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/25/2007 9:44:44 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I am happy to say, I have been talking to a delightful submissive for about a week.
I know its early, BUT I wanted to ask this question.
How long do you wait to meet someone that seems promising?
It is so rare that I even want to meet someone, I am very picky.
So far so good with my little pup.
Personally, I am thinking if it continues to go well.....maybe in about
2 months.
Of course, it will be a totally "vanilla" meeting, probably for dinner and conversation.
He lives about 4 hours away so.................we will see.

How long do you wait to meet someone you have been chatting with online AND
where and what do you do when you first meet them?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 12:07:02 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		If he lives within 1-3hours drive, I would like a meeting within 1 week-12days of first contact.   If he lives in California, I'll give him the minimum 21 days to make a reasonable reservation to fly himself out to meet...  I lose interest in small talk fairly quickly after the first few chats, so if someone wants to know the woman behind the name, he has to be willing to put his time/money where his mouth/keyboard is and come meet; otherwise, I haven't the time/desire to proceed.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MzMia)
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RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 12:30:38 AM   
MistressYlwa


Posts: 263
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline 		If they are local, I give them a week or so. Long distance is a bigger commitment, so a month or two before that meeting. Love local. Am an impatient woman and hate waiting. LOL

_____________________________

Mistress Ylwa

You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 2:56:19 AM   
kneelrightnow


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hi MzMia
I have chatted with subs on line for quite some time before (months) only to find they are not able to push their boundaries enough for a real time meet. Some just like on-line chit chat, for a variety of reasons, scared, married, whatever.
 
So now I tend to exchange a few mails, maybe some on-line chat and then ask for a phone number or ask them to call me, that way I have at least talked to them a little. Then arrange a meeting that is convenient for both, depending on locality and availability.
 
I always talk first now on the phone as text/email arrangements are, in my opinion, not enough to reassure myself.
 
If this sub sounds good, I would meet sooner rather than later, as if he is chatting with others, well thay may meet him first and you may lose him.
 
I wish you success.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 4:15:31 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		In as short a time as possible.

I don't have safety concerns, and usually after a short time conversing with me whatever safety concerns the woman has are dissolved.  (Sure, you say.)

So, if for no other reason as to see whether there is r/t chemistry, there's no sense in drawing it out.  Tomorrow you could be happily searching again, not wasting your time.  And whatever we think we have with a potential mate, one thing is for certain.  Time is really the only thing that we can call our own, and that shouldn't be easily squandered.

Many people, if it's within a couple of hundred of miles, I'll meet that day.  I'm not RUSHING a meeting.  I try not to even get that far if I know my interest isn't sufficient.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 5:24:23 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		I have a one month cap on meeting someone from online - either we meet one month from first contact (during that time multiple emails need to have been exchanged, and we've spoken on the phone at least once).  Typically a first meet is just over coffee, somewhere neutral; occasionally it's at somewhere like a munch.  My experience has been that if I don't meet within that time period, there's no point in pursuing anything further.   I don't rush the "getting to know you" period, but I don't feel that online is a good medium for doing that. 

I also don't put any "stock" into the person as having potential in a relationship until I've met with them several times.  Definately no discussions of collars or any of that.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 1/26/2007 5:25:55 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to mstrjx)
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RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 6:08:52 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Maximum of 3 weeks for me.

If we can't talk, if he/she can't talk to Fox, and if they can't submit an application in 2 weeks so we can set up a meeting the following week, there isn't enough energy there to continue.

People can and do lie online because there is little you can do to check them out. I want a face-to-face within 3 weeks.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 7:18:12 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		If you want to meet him, meet him. Just go to a public place the first time around. You're not taking much more risk that he's looney that you otherwise would be ('cause people can fake it for a long time online).

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 7:26:23 AM   
hot1


Posts: 455
Joined: 5/4/2004
From: Ontario Canada
Status: offline 		If he lives in the same town, why not right away..for coffee in a public place.  I have been known to be online chatting and if I find one the person I am chatting with is in my town, thought is..why are we sitting here typing...which Tim's do we meet at?

What difference is meeting someone online and going for coffe and going to a bar and a stranger comes over and hits on you.  To be the difference is the one you met online and having coffee with...you wanted to get to know a bit better and you have at least some things in common.

All you have to do is keep it safe.

hot1

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 7:36:15 AM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Sooner the better in my mind.

I think its to easy to fall for the online persona and then be totally underwhelmed come the reality of a meeting. The less time there is to build up that mental picture that the person spoken too is close to perfect the better.

_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 10:28:46 AM   
MsCece2u


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/10/2005
From: DC
Status: offline 		I have to agree with as soon as possible.  In my own opinion waiting two months is waiting too long.  Why exert the time and energy over the next two months only to meet and find out things are not as they should be.  Been there done that and have tshirt, cap and tote bag.

_____________________________

Ms Cece
Tis better to let people think that you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

(in reply to sleazy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 10:43:25 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		If they are local to Me, I usually exchange some e-mail, chat online and on the phone a few times, and if all has gone well, meet them fairly soon.  All of this usually occurs within a week or two.
 
If they are long-distance and would have to relocate, it's another story.  I would give them a little more time, possibly a few months, but not much longer than that.  I have had a few long-distance prospects who professed to be very interested, yet came up with outlandish excuses (mother suddenly developed cancer, sister suddently deathly ill, etc.) when the time came to purchase a ticket, get on a plane, and come out to see Me.  I will generally cut off a long-distance prospect if he can't make it out for a visit within a couple months. 
 
I think chemistry is important.  I have met submissives that seemed like ideal candidates online and over the phone, but the chemistry element was missing.  By meeting them soon, neither one of us wasted a great deal of time.
 
With respect to where I meet them for the first time, it is always in a public place.  Sometimes W/we meet for lunch, dinner, or coffee.  There are also a couple of local munches I attend regularly and  I may invite him to come to the munch to meet Me.

 
Lady Topaz

< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 1/26/2007 10:46:51 AM >

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 12:18:05 PM   
LadyOunce


Posts: 126
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		When you're comfortable, which is a very broad answer. If you're doing it safely, in public without giving your address and such, then as soon as a month or less if everything else seems to be going well. That is if it's not a financial burden.

If you're talking a great distance and expense to travel to see them, then no less than 3 months or even more.

_____________________________

Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. -Jackson

Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. -Einstein

Do not consider painful what is good for you. -Medea

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 12:21:13 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		i've been waiting 10 years...is that long enough...LOL

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Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 1:16:29 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

i've been waiting 10 years...is that long enough...LOL


With the same person?

Dude, if you've been talking to the same person for 10 years and haven't met, that is seriously messed up.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 1:23:22 PM   
demistress


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline 		It says in my profile, real life within a week or don't bother contacting me.  I mean it.  My time is too valuable to waste on endless talking, and I'm extremely picky about who I see/date/dominate.  Even if the person is a good match on paper, nothing can take the place of in person chemistry dynamics.

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 1:24:56 PM   
SCDommie


Posts: 176
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		If she is in the same area as you are located, I would meet for lunch place soon in a public place.  

Lunch is usually a bit more relaxed for a first meeting.  A lot can happen after a week's time.

Respectfully,  SC Domme

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 1:39:05 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I am happy to say, I have been talking to a delightful submissive for about a week.
I know its early, BUT I wanted to ask this question.
How long do you wait to meet someone that seems promising?
It is so rare that I even want to meet someone, I am very picky.
So far so good with my little pup.
Personally, I am thinking if it continues to go well.....maybe in about
2 months.
Of course, it will be a totally "vanilla" meeting, probably for dinner and conversation.
He lives about 4 hours away so.................we will see.

How long do you wait to meet someone you have been chatting with online AND
where and what do you do when you first meet them?


Not soon, that's for sure.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 3:35:52 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I have enjoyed reading all your answers.  It seems like the majority want to
meet fairly quickly, within 1 month.
Do you know one reason I delay meeting for at least a few weeks?
I like to get a snapshot at availability.  Are they available to chat on Friday and
Saturday nights?  Most single men are.  If you don't have the time to get to know
me WELL and talk on prime time nights, you are probably not the man for me.
Of course, we will soon be talking on the phone.
I am up front about wanting a close and serious relationship.
I do not want a party animal, someone always out with the boys or girls, or
anything remotely related.
My pup and I were to chat tonight around 10pm, pup has a part time job which
he told me about.  He was thoughtful enough to email me and tell me that he will
be in a bit after 10:30!!
This is the type of man I want.  Someone who checks in and checks in often.
If you can't obey some simple requests PRIOR to meeting, then often we will NOT meet.
This saves me a lot of time.
In fact I have NEVER met anyone off collarme in 2 years because no one has been worth
meeting {in my book}. And believe me, there are TONS of men that have approached me that
live within 30 minutes of me.  I live near VA and DC in the big city.
 If you don't feel like you can put in the time to get to know me, BEFORE
meeting and BEFORE even thinking of BDSM activities, I don't want you.
I don't feel like I am "wasting time" in getting to know him, because he is moving at MY pace.
If I asked him, he would meet me tomorrow even though he lives 4 hours away.
He will play the game, MY way.  He will be online when I tell him to be online, and soon
he will be calling me and I will be calling him, when I determine we should talk.
If he is a VERY OBEDIENT pup and does what MzMia wants, I will probably want to
meet in person in about 6 weeks or so.
I will keep you posted.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/26/2007 7:36:25 PM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		I usually wait at least a month also, to make sure they don't flake out.
I have had many that want me to meet them immediately, I make them wait.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 20
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