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RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/27/2007 7:06:44 AM   
LadyAlexa


Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline 		Meet when you feel comfortable also taking into consideration traveling expenses/time.  But I wouldn't wait more then three months.  I've waited months to meet some only to NOT have them meet me.  Talk on the phone at least once, more is best.  Sometimes the persons voice can just turn you off.    I always do a very vanilla meeting usually for lunch or dinner or dessert/coffee.  I check out how they respond to waitstaff, others around us.  If they can talk about something other then when we will
session!  

There have been a few I've met who I would love to have developed a LTR but apparently, although they said they loved being with me, never followed up on our meeting.

On a side note: one good thing for a sub to do is send a thank you note to the Dom/me after meeting.  Be honest, if you feel it's not going to work out, say so.  If you want to continue make sure you are clear about that; tell the Dom/me your availability timeline; and pay attention to what she says.



_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/27/2007 8:09:58 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		About a week depending on speed of email replies. I like to meet at a munch or coffee shop.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/27/2007 8:12:58 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCece2u

I have to agree with as soon as possible.  In my own opinion waiting two months is waiting too long.  Why exert the time and energy over the next two months only to meet and find out things are not as they should be.  Been there done that and have tshirt, cap and tote bag.


There's a tote bag....geesh, i been robbed

(in reply to MsCece2u)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/28/2007 12:01:27 AM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAlexa

On a side note: one good thing for a sub to do is send a thank you note to the Dom/me after meeting.  Be honest, if you feel it's not going to work out, say so.  If you want to continue make sure you are clear about that; tell the Dom/me your availability timeline; and pay attention to what she says.



Excellent idea!  Thank you for sharing that!
 
 - pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to LadyAlexa)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/28/2007 6:57:19 AM   
Denny17


Posts: 86
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline 		I like to meet as soon as they tell me okay i can.  Hell if I as much get someone interesetd in me im good!

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/28/2007 9:01:36 AM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I meet her when she states she wants to meet me.
It is her decision to make as she is the Dominant one.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/29/2007 9:17:14 AM   
GirlyDevil


Posts: 104
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I am happy to say, I have been talking to a delightful submissive for about a week.
I know its early, BUT I wanted to ask this question.
How long do you wait to meet someone that seems promising?
It is so rare that I even want to meet someone, I am very picky.
So far so good with my little pup.
Personally, I am thinking if it continues to go well.....maybe in about
2 months.
Of course, it will be a totally "vanilla" meeting, probably for dinner and conversation.
 
I wait until I feel comfortable with the person and than wait at least 1-2 months before acutally setting up to meet.

He lives about 4 hours away so.................we will see.

How long do you wait to meet someone you have been chatting with online AND
where and what do you do when you first meet them?

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/29/2007 9:17:11 PM   
sarbonn


Posts: 203
Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline 		I usually meet people within the first month of speaking online. But I don't meet a lot of people. The latest person I'm seeing I met after a few months, but just because I was really busy and unable to meet. I sometimes get really concerned because the distance often means a rare visit because my life hasn't gotten any less hectic. But she has been okay with that, although it leaves me feeling like I'm not being all I can for her, and unfortunately, I really don't have more time than I am able to give at this time.

_____________________________

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

(in reply to sexyshawn)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/29/2007 9:22:37 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		For me it depends on two things.  What I expect to come from our meeting, and where they are located.
With Angel, we waited about 3 months, and even then we met more by happy accident than actual planning. I have waited longer for a few long distance people, making sure that what we had in common would warrant the expense and time investment.
Other local people I have met in as little as a week or so.  Then agian, I have met quite a few people offline who were not being considered as submissives for me. I have made a few good friends offline (here and elsewhere) and when it felt right platonically, we have just said to hell with it lets meet.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LadyIce)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/30/2007 6:37:52 PM   
mellian


Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline 		I have yet met anyone after meeting them on collarme, the other site main bdsm personals site, or some other online location for potential D/s relations. Few times that could have happened usually they kept pushing the date with no return, cancel the meeting twice in the row and then now hearing from them, and so on. Apart from that, yes I met people whom I met online first before in person, bu that is usually because of munches, parties, and other things that as nothing to do with bdsm.

-mellian


_____________________________

Since my pic link doesn't work, here is my profile:

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/50276/details.htm

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/30/2007 7:14:42 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		I wait about as much time as it takes for me to be comfortable. I definitely have at least one phone conversation beforehand, but I think while you can learn the "nitty gritty" of someone online, you can't learn much about themselves and their actual personalities. Usually I like to meet within a week to a month, depending on schedules/ distances, etc.

I always like to meet for breakfast, I think its a good chance to get to know somone in their "unguarded" time before they build up their facade for the day. If things don't go so well you can always claim an early appointment somewhere. On the other hand, if they go well you have the rest of the day...

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to mellian)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/30/2007 8:58:16 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		I have to go with the sooner the better.  It's been my experience that no matter how much chemistry there may seem to be between two people communicating by E-mail and IM, there is no guarantee that the chemistry will exist face to face.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/30/2007 9:00:12 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		still waiting

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 1/31/2007 3:26:19 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		Inertia never got anyone anywhere.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 2/4/2007 9:13:34 AM   
QuixoticOtaku


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe it's just me, but I really would like to meet someone. I think that a few email exchanges are enough to see if there's potential. Online chatting seems to go nowhere after a couple weeks. I think one has to meet in person, go on some dates--like vanilla people do-- to see if it's worth going further. See, doing a scene--much less thinking about 24/7 takes trust. It takes knowing someone. I find on going online chatting is often done by people who just want to talk about BDSM--whether that's cyber or just discussing fantasies or just hoping to hook-up for NSA thrills. I love BDSM. That's why I'm here... but I don't like talking about such intimate things very much with someone I've never met. If someone is too cowardly or too selfish to go on a date, I'm not very interested.  

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How long do you wait to meet someone realtime? - 2/4/2007 9:23:23 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		After emails and a few phone calls then you should be able to  know if a meeting is worth your time..quick phone calls tend to seprate the wheat from the trash..

< Message edited by BOUNTYHUNTER -- 2/4/2007 9:25:46 AM >

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to QuixoticOtaku)
Profile   Post #: 36
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