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sexuality in submission - 1/26/2007 4:31:50 AM   
agirlinDC


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		i have a question for the list.  i am a self described masochist, and love serving my Dom in this way.   i was wondering if there are other slaves/subs/bottoms who are wired the same way?

See,  many that i talk with in the lifestyle also equate masochism with sexuality.  For me, play and submitting to pain is not always about sex.  Now..on the other hand, if He gets turned on by hurting me,  then that is a huge turn on for me.  i guess what i am trying to say is that it doesnt HAVE to be sexual, but it CAN be.   Every scene, every taste of pain and pleasure is one of the most purest ways i can express my submission and love for Him.

i so do not want anyone to think i am "holier than thou"  What i wonder is if i am alone in feeling this way?   Or am i in a mindset that is the exception to the rule?    There are quite a few i talk with who discuss how much they love being exhibited and played with in public.   For me, playing in public, having others watch my scene is a way of serving and submitting to my Sir, but i get no rush or turn on other than to know i have pleased Him in this way.   Make sense?


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If a man does not keep pace with his companions
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/26/2007 4:56:08 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		I think the biggest sex organ we have is the brain.  You can't get to my private parts without foreplay by stroking mymind.  Sex is the icing on the cake for me.

(in reply to agirlinDC)
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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/26/2007 6:41:28 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I agree that it is all in the mind.  However, my sexuality was my biggest place of vulnerability, and a path he sometimes uses to get to my mind.  Some of the deepest adventures I have had into my spirit have been through experiences in subspace, brought about by sexual activity.  The two work together for me.  The more vulnerable I am to him, the deeper my submission seems to grow.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/26/2007 7:17:40 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The answer to any question that begins "Does anyone...?" Is always Yes.

I am not a masochist, so I don't enjoy pain, even in service to someone.

I do enjoy being used sexually, whether for service or just being used.

Oh and you seem to be talking of a few very different things- service, masochism, exhibitionism and sexuality.  Those can all turn people on in very different ways and in very different combinations.  You're never going to find another person who feels and reacts to ALL of those EXACTLY the same way as you do.  But we all have our triggers and we all have things that make us bored.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_701599/mpage_1/key_sadist/tm.htm#701905
sadism and masochism

http://www.collarchat.com/m_525044/mpage_1/key_fluffy%252Csadist/tm.htm#525222
sadist

http://www.collarchat.com/m_583606/mpage_1/key_masochists/tm.htm#583687
Extreme sensation play, what's hot about that for you?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_204732/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#204762
why experience pain and what motivates a sub to enjoy it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_284469/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#284905
masochistic vs non masochistic

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428681/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#428697
masochism

http://www.collarchat.com/m_514097/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#514099
is it the pain or the act of submission?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_99877/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#99877
ds vs s&m

http://www.collarchat.com/m_319334/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#319334
question on masochism #1

http://www.collarchat.com/m_319343/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#319343
question on masochism #2

http://www.collarchat.com/m_475218/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#475218
masochism and submission, is there a conflict?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_344784/mpage_1/key_masochist/tm.htm#344784
good pain/bad pain...blurred lines?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_221596/mpage_1/key_masochist/tm.htm#221596
sensation slut

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 1/26/2007 7:19:17 AM >

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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/26/2007 7:23:58 AM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		I think I know what you mean, because my sole motivating factor to any kind of play in public is knowing that it pleases him. I have no exhibitionist in me. But it has become a huge motivation. However good the physical act feels, it is vastly overshadowed by the mental joy of surrendering to something I wouldn't do on my own. There aren't many things he asks of me that fall into that category, most things he likes are high on my list as well.
Pain, however, just gets me off!

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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/26/2007 7:54:46 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		The technical definition of SM says that a person gets aroused by pain, whether giving or receiving. However, there are those who find it to be a more spiritual experience or physical sensation endurance thing. The answer to the question, "Am I the only one?" is, invaribly, "No." If you want to seperate the two, find someone, like me, who is comfortable with that. So, no, you're not the only one.

Master Fire


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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/26/2007 2:53:47 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		agirlin DC, you're a masochist and you have a "Mean People Suck"
logo?
Too funny!

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: sexuality in submission - 1/26/2007 5:53:25 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirlinDC
...
   i was wondering if there are other slaves/subs/bottoms who are wired the same way?
...


Most of the slaves/subs/bottoms I have gotten to know over the years gave accounts of themselves which were very much like yours.

(in reply to agirlinDC)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 8:02:31 AM   
agirlinDC


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks so much everyone for all your input.  It does help and i loved that there were so many different views of this topic.  Helps a lot!



_____________________________

If a man does not keep pace with his companions
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music he hears however measured
or far away.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 10:21:38 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I agree that it is all in the mind.  However, my sexuality was my biggest place of vulnerability, and a path he sometimes uses to get to my mind.  Some of the deepest adventures I have had into my spirit have been through experiences in subspace, brought about by sexual activity.  The two work together for me.  The more vulnerable I am to him, the deeper my submission seems to grow.


Thanks for expounding my quote by using your experiences as an example.  I can understand your point, and it makes great sense to use your most vulnerable part in doing so.  Very wise.

Compliments,
LBO

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 10:29:06 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

The technical definition of SM says that a person gets aroused by pain, whether giving or receiving. However, there are those who find it to be a more spiritual experience or physical sensation endurance thing. The answer to the question, "Am I the only one?" is, invaribly, "No." If you want to seperate the two, find someone, like me, who is comfortable with that. So, no, you're not the only one.

Master Fire



Great post. Like yourself I'm comfy with both too, depending on whether or not I'm in an exceptionally sadist mood.     
LBO 

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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 10:37:16 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		This is pretty much how it is for Fox though he would not call himself a masochist because pain =/= sexual pleasure for him. He suffers for me because I desire it; he gets turned on or he feels happy because he sees how his suffering affects me in such a positive fashion.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 12:17:54 PM   
simplyangelic1


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		My favorite quote is "Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever".  Think that says it all.

(in reply to agirlinDC)
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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 1:14:19 PM   
MasterWilliam55


Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline 		simply angelic...that kinda does say it all. I say it this way...."Capture your mind and I'll steal your heart. Steal your heart  I'll have your body. Get all three and you will offer me your soul"

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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 1:15:33 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I agree that it is all in the mind.  However, my sexuality was my biggest place of vulnerability, and a path he sometimes uses to get to my mind.  Some of the deepest adventures I have had into my spirit have been through experiences in subspace, brought about by sexual activity.  The two work together for me.  The more vulnerable I am to him, the deeper my submission seems to grow.


I agree with the feelings of ownedgirlie in the above quotation that my sexuality is a vulnerable place for me. Only my experience is with a Domina's.
I will add that the more I am vulnerable and that it is proven to be a safe space the deeper my submission grows and the deeper I am willing to go risk in trust.
 
Huggz, Missy.

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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 6:15:14 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55

simply angelic...that kinda does say it all. I say it this way...."Capture your mind and I'll steal your heart. Steal your heart  I'll have your body. Get all three and you will offer me your soul"


And then there's that age-old credo of cyber romance: "Capture her mouse and her pussy will follow."


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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 6:16:53 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i am a self described masochist


This description doesn't comport too well with your avatar.

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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 6:48:31 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline
I love pain and it turns me on to no end ... whether it's giving and/or receiving ... as I am both a sadist and a maso.  My dom loves to inflict pain on me and he loves to feel and see how wet and aroused i am from it ... even though I physically hate pain and beg him to stop ... mentally it's so arousing ... go figure.  But is this a sexual thing for me?  Only in the way that it gets me wet.  I actually didn't have sex until a few months ago, when I lost my virginity at 28 ... so for me, the pain is about control and it's all a mental thing.


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RE: sexuality in submission - 1/27/2007 7:08:27 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirlinDC
Make sense?


It makes sense to me.

Sometimes the physical pain isn't the turn-on.  It's the fact that he's doing it.  Often it's sexy just after the fact, not during, but sometimes it's *really* hot during too.  And then there are the memories. 

I asked him, "When you spank me, is it because I like it or because you do?"  His answer was, "Yes." 

I do have some exhibitionist in me (people who post to boards generally do to some extent, IMO) but not enough to  want it for myself. 

I would happily play in a public space if he wanted.  It might not turn me on, but it would tickle me pink.

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RE: sexuality in submission - 2/9/2007 5:29:04 PM   
lilbrattie


Posts: 67
Joined: 2/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55

simply angelic...that kinda does say it all. I say it this way...."Capture your mind and I'll steal your heart. Steal your heart  I'll have your body. Get all three and you will offer me your soul"


i have to agree with Sir on this one. - giggle -

(not that i'm agreeing to save my butt either - laughs -)

~brattie~

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