Strong Submissives

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Strong Submissives

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Strong Submissives

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Strong Submissives - 3/3/2005 7:49:01 PM

Darthbetta

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline

Apparently people need to be pigonholed into thinking a "submisive" has to act a certain way, and can't have a strong fierce competetive side when it comes to discussions, and how they act around others.

I personaly am proud to have a strong submissive who doesn't put up with crap, take "NO" for an answer", and voices her opinions, and speeks her mind.

"Your submissive is a representation of you and her actions and words reflect that which are your own as a Dom"

Fucken A ! she is !..... darm right, because when I walk into the room, I have a presence. Maybee it will be low key, and fairly reclusive, but I am there nonetheless. Other times I can be loud, jovial, silly, or sincere, stern, crass or down right sarcastically evil (dauh... as if y'all didn't pick up on that already

).

If my submissive/slave/kajira ( who is sub only to me) is sitting around in a room with a bunch of other "submissives", and things get asqued, then she has the right to voice her questions, and make her presence felt.

Many submissives tend to look at the floor, or avert their eyes.

Mine doesn't. She will throw you the viper fangs right back at you from beind the firey eyes she has.

.............nope, no pathetic doormat for me, and a word to the wise if anyone wants to try and top her from the bottom, it just is not going to happen !

Anyone else agree ?
Lets' hear it for the "extention of your will and being" !

< Message edited by Darthbetta -- 3/3/2005 7:51:36 PM >

_____________________________

Some of us have an inane knack for calling people on their Bullshit... I just choose to retort with bitter dry Sarcasm, and occasionaly it sinks in. Mostly, I just look like an ass.

Post #: 1

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/3/2005 8:11:25 PM

Chilli

Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

I would imagine that quite feasibly a Dominant could quite enjoy playing with a complete doormat every now and then, but for the general *thinking* Dom/me a 24/7 doormat would become tiresome pretty damned quick.

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 2

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/3/2005 10:10:20 PM

MistressKiss

Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Darthbetta, your submissive sounds much like the type of submissive I am. What is frustrating is the difficulty in finding a male Dominant that can handle this type of submissive. They are few and very far between. I think that much of my feisty behavior is a "test" of sorts, to see if a dominant can handle my aggressive personality, if it is a turn on, and/or, if he is confident enough not to be threatened by it. That is very important to me. I am as submissive as hell in person with a dominant I respect...but wannabes...well, my personality weeds them out very quickly. I am not one to submit to just anyone and lower my eyes to everyone with "Master" in front of his name. Gals have to be very careful nowadays...and I don't pretend to be something I'm not...I just wish there were more men who act like men without being arrogant about it. It's a beautiful thing to have a strong submissive who desires to kneel to you...it truly is.

< Message edited by MistressKiss -- 3/3/2005 10:11:20 PM >

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 3

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/3/2005 10:25:45 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

Darth, I don't often agree with you, but I think you're spot on here.

I am a representative of my Owner. How would he look if I let anyone and everyone tell me how to act/look/be? Similarly, what would it say about his power if I let everyone control me?

Anyway. Well said.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to MistressKiss)

Post #: 4

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/3/2005 11:51:30 PM

strapped85

Posts: 9
Joined: 3/3/2005
Status: offline

I consider myself a strong submissive. I'm pretty new to the whole scene but I view the whole dom/sub relationship as a battle- one with predetermined winners and losers but a battle none the less. I find the idea of being matched against someone strong, fighting, and losing much more erotic than simply "submitting."
W/out the fight, there's always going to be a doubt, at least in the back of my mind, about who should really be in control. The harder the struggle, the more in control the dom ultimately is.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 5

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/3/2005 11:56:17 PM

Chilli

Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: strapped85

I consider myself a strong submissive. I'm pretty new to the whole scene but I view the whole dom/sub relationship as a battle- one with predetermined winners and losers but a battle none the less. I find the idea of being matched against someone strong, fighting, and losing much more erotic than simply "submitting."
W/out the fight, there's always going to be a doubt, at least in the back of my mind, about who should really be in control. The harder the struggle, the more in control the dom ultimately is.

Wow, that completely goes against everything I believe in with regards to my own submission. Nice provocative post.

(in reply to strapped85)

Post #: 6

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 1:26:03 AM

kella

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressKiss

Darthbetta, your submissive sounds much like the type of submissive I am. What is frustrating is the difficulty in finding a male Dominant that can handle this type of submissive. They are few and very far between. I think that much of my feisty behavior is a "test" of sorts, to see if a dominant can handle my aggressive personality, if it is a turn on, and/or, if he is confident enough not to be threatened by it. That is very important to me. I am as submissive as hell in person with a dominant I respect...but wannabes...well, my personality weeds them out very quickly. I am not one to submit to just anyone and lower my eyes to everyone with "Master" in front of his name. Gals have to be very careful nowadays...and I don't pretend to be something I'm not...I just wish there were more men who act like men without being arrogant about it. It's a beautiful thing to have a strong submissive who desires to kneel to you...it truly is.

i completely agree. that's how i am. i get called a S.A.M. or a brat... usually with derision and eye-rolling... but just because i like to surrender control does NOT mean i'll surrender to every Tom, Dick and Harry who carries a riding crop and wears a biker vest. it just ain't gonna happen. i submit, but my submission goes to One who can handle who i ultimately am and add something else to it: limits that i don't feel 100% uncomfortable obeying. maybe He would relish who i am in private and demand strict adherance to protocol in public. or maybe He just wouldn't give a flying fuck. Usually, the Ones that i meet that i respect the most are the Ones who can control without being ostentatious about it. as long as i'm not being disrespectful to the Dominant i serve (not that i am serving now, but hypothetically), then i'm submitting to Him.

eh. it's 3:30 AM where i am. i don't guarantee coherence at this point. hope it made sense. lol

(in reply to MistressKiss)

Post #: 7

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 1:42:18 AM

wetrope

Posts: 117
Joined: 8/9/2004
From: GATINEAU, PQ
Status: offline

I wouldnt have a sub anyother way but sassy, a battler, disagreeable, uncomfortable. What would be the fun in controlling a door mat, unless I just wanted to clean off my boots. To know that I am the only one who is able to control this beautiful mind and body, whew what a load, she empowers me with all she gives.

_____________________________

Wetrope

(in reply to kella)

Post #: 8

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 2:00:29 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darthbetta
I personaly am proud to have a strong submissive who doesn't put up with crap, take "NO" for an answer", and voices her opinions, and speeks her mind.

Darth, my first thought was one of agreement - a strong submissive actually has power to exchange with their dominant.

But in light of the discussion on another thread, I wonder if you mean that you prefer a submissive that wants to be taken down - a submissive that only submits if the dominant has conquered their somewhat defiant independence.

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 9

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 2:13:32 AM

match2u

Posts: 131
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

Dear Dartbetta,

i am so glad You point it out - thanks a lot - smile

and yes i do agree. my experience most Doms/ Master are not able or neither willing to deal with a strong submissive - at least may they forget that i am vigorous, alive and sometimes challenging.
when i give myself it is a gift and i would be proud that the Master know he has conquered a vital and dynamic being.

there is a big difference between commanding and Domination.. isn't it??

at least i surrender to the One... i choose freely and my whole being is included.
and yes - i háve a lot of power - smile -
how should be a power exchange happen if there is no power??

petra

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 10

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 6:07:53 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Having a submissive personality is no better or worse than having an aggressive personality. They both have strengths and weaknesses to them. The point is knowing how to act appropriately in the situation you are in to get the goal you want.

For subs, their appropriateness is often regulated by someone else- their dom. Otherwise, they act as any independent adult would.

I personally find the "Roaring, no man is strong enough to take THIS sub!" as irritating as the "too weak to get a coat when she's cold" type.

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 11

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 7:00:54 AM

MidnightWriter

Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

strapped85
I view the whole dom/sub relationship as a battle- one with predetermined winners and losers but a battle none the less. I find the idea of being matched against someone strong, fighting, and losing much more erotic than simply "submitting."
W/out the fight, there's always going to be a doubt, at least in the back of my mind, about who should really be in control. The harder the struggle, the more in control the dom ultimately is.

I enjoy the process of conquering - I haven't taken all that I've conquered, but I've conquered all that I've taken.

However, I recall a time with my first slave, about a year after we'd moved to 24/7, that was trying for both of us. She was always strong, opinionated, and very un-submissive to everyone but me, and this pleased me - but she started resisting me, particularly when we were out at a community event or meeting. I'd growl and reconqueror, but it distracted me (and others, I believe) from the purpose of the meeting, and I found it somewhat embarassing - I had this great slave, but she was frequently rebelling, testing my strength and patience - not admirable when we've got other things to do.

Then it became more frequent, happening at home as well - until I could count on a major battle of wills about 3 times a week. I didn't understand it, she couldn't explain it, and home life pretty much ceased being peaceful or restful. That we kept blatant d/s away from the kids we were raising just made it more awkward and frustrating.

With the help of a domme friend, I finally figured out what was happening, and why - she'd grown fond of the process, and was misbehaving in order to reexperience it.

When she rebelled in public, she wasn't trying to shame me by showing my lack of ability to train her well to the other dominants; she was bragging on me to the other subs by showing how strongly I'd reconqueror her.

After some thought, I preempted her next rebellion with massive force. An epic battle ensued. We both won, in a fashion. I reminded her that what I'd conquered was mine and that it would please me. I made it clear that quelling rebellions did not please me, and that there were other goals to work toward, once we weren't busy overcoming her resistance repeatedly. Peace once again reigned, and we were able to move on to other things.

I sometimes wonder if she remembers that as I do; as a time of conflict and turmoil that it was good to be past. Mayhaps she recalls that as a time of thrills and excitement, a fond memory. It's possible that she was trying to be re-conquered when she broke my trust - I may never know, and frankly, I don't particularly give a damn.

So, strapped85 - bear this in mind as you enjoy your struggles, and decide for yourself whether you're going to be conquered for once and for all, or if your dom is going to have to deal with resistance now and again. I strongly suggest that you discuss it openly with them, whichever you decide. After the initial conquest, it may look very different from their point of view, and an understanding of what is desired on both sides, and what can be expected, is useful to a long-term relationship.

_____________________________

Power corrupts. Absolute power ... is really pretty nifty.

TIES - pansexual BDSM social group in MN, USA - http://www.ties-bdsm.org

(in reply to strapped85)

Post #: 12

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 7:02:03 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I consider myself to be a very strong submissive. Completely submissive to One but not to the world at large. I think that one can be strong, state their mind and their opinions without having to be a SAM, without having to be loud, brassy, bratty or rude. I don't think that it is usually the intention of the submissive to come off this way, and it has been in my experience that she is generally trying to establish boundaries with someone who has put her in a position where she must and hold her own ground.

I have seen this happen quite frequently due to a Dominant(not her own) who has overstepped the lines and expects her to conform to a stereotypical view that He thinks all submissives should be. I have met Dominants who judge submissives who are outgoing, friendly and a bit on the bubbly side to be brats or SAM's. I have been accused of this myself as I am very outgoing and love to laugh and have fun. There is a huge difference between someone who is full of life and someone who is just a smartass.

Although I am not normally the type of submissive who relishes in taking a Dominant to task, I will certainly make myself very clear to them. I am generally capable of letting other Dominants know where the boundaries lie in a dignified manner. Should they persist beyond that, then I may have to become a bit stronger and bolder in my response to them(and I am quite capable of getting as strong and bold as the situation necessitates)....or I can simply refer them to my Sir.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 13

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 7:36:27 AM

Darthbetta

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline

Some random thoughts on this subject.

How does this affect other people's perception since "my sub" is stronger than theirs and seemingly breaks the mold ? or "acts up" in a meeting when in essence all that really transpired is her standing up for herself, and not dealing with crap, or simply voicing questions or making a comment that is a bit "left field" of the MOBB RULES thinking ?

Manytimes I have seen A dom being bitched at through clenched teeth in the corner of a room by his sub, but that is because ?????????? who knows. Does that mena that the Dom is weaker, and that the sub really wears the pants ? or does it mean that the sub is just as "toppy" as the next, and the "tWue submiz" is just an act to keep face with the "MOBB MENTALITY" ?

Women *some, not all) can be very catty, and then onething leads to another, and misunderstandings turn into bigg issues because something is "non-conformist" and "new" to an existing group.

Sure tradition is important, but there is a reason why every generation is different with new customs, and the sliding of "Old ways".

What about a " SUBMISSIVE TO SUBMISIVE " situation ? not just about top...

< Message edited by Darthbetta -- 3/4/2005 7:37:55 AM >

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 14

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 7:50:07 AM

Manawyddan

Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline

Some fascinating discussions here. I've greatly enjoyed reading the thread.

I have a fair amount of experience as a top, but very little as a dom. I used to characterise myself as someone who likes 'uppity subs,' but now that I have more RL experience and now that I have a greater interest in DS, I don't think that's still true (if it ever really was).

I enjoy firey, intelligent partners who can speak their minds. Anyone else isn't worthy of my time. On the other hand, someone who consistently resists domination (once we're in agreement that we'll be participating in DS) past a certain point ... simply bores me. I don't feel the need to 'prove' how dominant I am to someone I am just beginning to know. My inclination would be to dismiss them and tell them to find someone more patient than I.

_____________________________

_______________________________________________
"She always had a terrific sense of humor"
(Valerie Solonas, as described by her mother)
_______________________________________________

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 15

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 8:02:44 AM

MidnightWriter

Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darthbetta
How does this affect other people's perception since "my sub" is stronger than theirs and seemingly breaks the mold ? or "acts up" in a meeting when in essence all that really transpired is her standing up for herself, and not dealing with crap, or simply voicing questions or making a comment that is a bit "left field" of the MOBB RULES thinking ?

Personally, I always took a bit of pride in owning a highly trained attack submissive who was often mistaken for a dominant by newbies.

Long before we'd gotten to 24/7, she went to a meeting without me, and had an incident with another dominant. He'd picked her up and refused to put her down, at which point, she'd gently nudged him with her knee. He called me in high indignation, suggesting that she be properly punished for this.

I did, indeed, give her a stern talking-to. I gave her standing orders - when in such a situation, she was expected to bring me body parts, to show that she'd dealt with the situation properly.

quote:

Manytimes I have seen A dom being bitched at through clenched teeth in the corner of a room by his sub, but that is because ?????????? who knows. Does that mena that the Dom is weaker, and that the sub really wears the pants ? or does it mean that the sub is just as "toppy" as the next, and the "tWue submiz" is just an act to keep face with the "MOBB MENTALITY" ?

It means, as I suspect you already know, that you don't really know - and it's not really your business in any case. They could be reminding the dom of promises made, whuppin' that dom back into line, or simply venting to the dom about someone else entirely - and whatever it is, it's between them. Making a judgement on insufficient information is a game for fools.

quote:

Women *some, not all) can be very catty, and then onething leads to another, and misunderstandings turn into bigg issues because something is "non-conformist" and "new" to an existing group.

Personally, I did not overcome years of social conditioning and violate several laws of man (and a couple of nature) just so I could put on a different uniform, and I imagine that this annoys or dismays some of the folks in the local community.

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity -- Bill Vaughn

Mostly, I don't worry about it much - they'll have whatever opinions it pleases them to have. Be proud of what you're proud of, and give them room to be as wrong as they feel a need to be.

_____________________________

Power corrupts. Absolute power ... is really pretty nifty.

TIES - pansexual BDSM social group in MN, USA - http://www.ties-bdsm.org

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 16

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 9:36:10 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

He'd picked her up and refused to put her down, at which point, she'd gently nudged him with her knee.

This is a situation that goes above and beyond the need for politeness. I have seen and experienced the touchy feely Doms that seem to think they have some God given right to put their hands on you once you have stated that you are a submissive. I see it as being no different than if someone outside of the lifestyle were to assume that he had the same liberties. If, after I made it very clear in no uncertain terms that I found it unacceptable for Him to be touching me, and He continued to push that boundary....I would very politely offer him my hand to help Him get back up off of the floor.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to MidnightWriter)

Post #: 17

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 10:56:47 AM

subgreg

Posts: 50
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline

I don't know whether I would consider myself a "strong" submissive. In my relationship with Ma'am I submit completely to her, but am encouraged to freely express my opinions, ideas, suggestions, advice, etc.. Ma'am just has the final say. I would actually get into a great deal of trouble if I was not completely forthright in how I felt about something.

I agree that I am very much an extension of Ma'am, at all times, and therefore must conduct myself how she deserves. This varies from setting to setting, with the common undercurrent being my love and respect for her. My specific behavior is determined by the setting I am in and Ma'am's expectations of me. While I am free to talk and give my opinions at a munch or a vanilla party, at a high protocol party I am expected to conduct myself as protocol dictates.

< Message edited by subgreg -- 3/4/2005 11:01:49 AM >

_____________________________

Beach's toyboy
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"
~~~
http://www.myspace.com/beachs_toyboy
http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/beachstoyboy/
http://talkingsex.ning.com/profile/Beachstoyboy

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 18

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 11:31:09 AM

spliffsmum

Posts: 16
Joined: 2/3/2005
Status: offline

Interesting thread. In my vanilla life I am required to 'take charge' and be assertive (note; not aggressive!). With my Master I am allowed to debate, argue, suggest, etc. but if He makes a request of me or "no means no" statement it would be hugely disrespectful - and immediately punishable - if I didn't comply fully. Very occasionally I forget my place which is distasteful for both of us....

(in reply to subgreg)

Post #: 19

RE: Strong Submissives - 3/4/2005 12:42:02 PM

Darthbetta

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline

http://www.collarme.com/forum/m_79139/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#79291

{I just figured out} thread.... some very parallel points here.

(in reply to spliffsmum)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Strong Submissives

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078