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How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 3:43:43 PM

seekshertrue1

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How long did it take you to find the sub/slave that was perfect for you? I know that sub/slaves take some time to find. How did you know he/she was the right one? Did you click right away?

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 3:50:26 PM

mstrjx

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This is a very difficult answer, that will not sound rational in the least.

I've had several (relatively) successful BDSM relationships, lasting several months to many years. In every case we clicked right away.

Having said that, I would say that ultimately none of them were 'perfect' for me.

I'm looking again, kinda sorta sometimes not really.

I'm aware of what I want; I'm aware that this time there won't be as much compromise on my part; I'm aware that this probably means that I will stay single and unattached and celibate and the rest for the rest of my natural born days.

Frankly, I don't know which scenario I'm hoping for (being single or not). But I'm looking.

Kinda sorta.

Jeff

Edited to add: Back in the wild days, you know, before the Internet, most of the partners that I was with only took a couple of weeks for them to find me. Perhaps a month, tops.

< Message edited by mstrjx -- 1/26/2007 3:54:56 PM >

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 3:51:57 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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ten years and counting

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 3:52:30 PM

bandit25

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I hear ya.

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 3:55:47 PM

mstrjx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I hear ya.

Yes, well, ahem. Stick a fork in me, right?

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 4:00:10 PM

LotusSong

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I never "searched".. it just sort of happened. At first, I wished he's just go away.. but he gently persisted. He grew on me. Then one night in the middle of a session he asked to be "mine".

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 4:03:56 PM

thetammyjo

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Perfect?

Not going to happen.

I don't measure my time between relationships, I try to value each for what he or she gave me and I hope they value what I gave them.

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 4:07:17 PM

MzMia

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I have yet to find the "one" for me and its been over 3 years.
Of course real life has been happening to me, and I had a tremendous
loss 2 years ago. So I don't know if I was emotionally "available" for
a good 2 years. But I was still around and somewhat searching.
Hopefully, I will have an answer to this question before the end
of 2007.
I can tell you this, as long as it has taken me and after seeing "what" is
out here to pick from,
When I fine my "one", I am holding on hopefully till death do us part.
I sure the hell don't want to ever look again.
Peace

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 4:08:50 PM

bandit25

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Well, ok...come on over...I'll sharpen the tines.

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 4:09:34 PM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekshertrue1

How long did it take you to find the sub/slave that was perfect for you?
I know that sub/slaves take some time to find. How did you know he/she was the right one? Did you click right away?

For me, there is no "there can be only one." Each sub has been right for me at the time I was in the relationship with them. However, my current girl is my first slave and the difference is important to me. Yes, we clicked right away...she served me one weekend at a spiritual leather event having been assigned to me at random. We talked and got to know each other over a year's time and then she petitioned. she's been collared for a year.

There is another who is out there that I will be holding a place for in my household for as long as I emotionally can. Yes, we clicked right away. In fact, I have many, many, many past life memories with him. he's special. I don't know that he'll ever decide to serve again...but we are friends and that works.

As for how long it took...I wasn't really searching for them. They each just kinda happened across my path. So far, none of those that I was "in the hunt for" have panned out. Go figure.

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 1/26/2007 4:11:46 PM >

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 4:29:39 PM

NaughtyPrincess

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It has been difficult for me as well, MzMia, to find the right fit...started to think i was the only one having a difficult time. Not only do we have to fit on a chemistry level but in this world, the difference in degree can cause additional problems. For some, i am too extreme...for others, not extreme enough. Like you, once found, i am holding on for dear life...

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 4:43:08 PM

seekshertrue1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NaughtyPrincess

For some, i am too extreme...for others, not extreme enough. Like you, once found, i am holding on for dear life...

I'm the same way. Even though I'm not into pain I'm too "soft" for some and not "soft" enough for others. My search is also for life. I know there will be ones along the way that will make my journey a learning experience but I know there will be the one that will steal my heart.

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 5:38:35 PM

LadyOunce

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My last submissive who was mine for nearly five years was a sweet boy I connected with almost instantly. We were close from the first moment and, truly, close until the very end.

Sadly I lost him to his family who found out and drove us apart.

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 5:39:10 PM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I never "searched".. it just sort of happened. At first, I wished he's just go away.. but he gently persisted. He grew on me. Then one night in the middle of a session he asked to be "mine".

I should add that we played with each other pretty much exclusively for 6 months.. the collared and it will be 10 year this coming April. If something is meant to be.,. it will happen..if not.. there's nothing you can do. JMO

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 7:41:28 PM

LadyIce

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still searching here

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 8:33:31 PM

demistress

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Well I had a female-led VANILLA D/s relationship that included marriage and lasted 7 years. But it wasn't not a "kinky" relationship despite the fact that both of us were bisexual going in. We were monogamous and faithful... hmmm can't imagine why it didn't work out..... *WEG*

It's been almost 2 years since, and I have had a few short term relationships, but am still hoping to find one or more long term partners.

< Message edited by demistress -- 1/26/2007 8:34:15 PM >

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 8:36:51 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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ever notice that the ones that either you're interested in or are intersted in you...live too far away?

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 8:38:12 PM

DiurnalVampire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekshertrue1

How long did it take you to find the sub/slave that was perfect for you? I know that sub/slaves take some time to find. How did you know he/she was the right one? Did you click right away?

Angel took me ages to find. He is my first collar in my 12 years of lifestyle involvement, ebcaue he is the first one that I had THAT much of a connection with. We did click right away, face to face, though we ran into some rocky spots after that. Long distace made for a few rubs, but in the end I am now living closer and things are moving along nicely.
How did I know? I still dont, I can only hope.

DV

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 10:18:53 PM

adaddysgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NaughtyPrincess

It has been difficult for me as well, MzMia, to find the right fit...started to think i was the only one having a difficult time. Not only do we have to fit on a chemistry level but in this world, the difference in degree can cause additional problems. For some, i am too extreme...for others, not extreme enough. Like you, once found, i am holding on for dear life...

Same here. And i am 2 years and counting without a partner *sighs*

Daddysgirl

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RE: How long was your search? - 1/26/2007 10:24:04 PM

pixelslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

ever notice that the ones that either you're interested in or are intersted in you...live too far away?

Ever notice that some people always find some kind of excuse for not going after what they claim to want more than anything else?

- pixel

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