PossiblyMaybe
Posts: 19
Joined: 7/4/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TreSwank
1. Kids to feed
2. Nowhere to go
3. A drug habit that hasn't rendered them unattractive as of yet.
4. Women who have "emotional scars" from earlier abuse, and are all "FUCKED UP"
The more I go out - something just seems to get my mojo runnin' when I see these women. It's not the relative "ease" of the pickup - it's the humiliation that I imagine seeing in the eyes of these girls as they "do their thang." It's the abject, decrepit condition of the human spirit that floats my boat..........especially in a near hopeless, but still pretty young thing.
I'm always been considered a semi-attractive looking guy, and I "SHO as hell" don't need to pander to that element for nasty (hot) ho' loving, but there's something about their desperation and broken self-image that turns me on.
If so, what do you think causes this weird fetish?
Have you seen rent? It's kind of what attracts people to Mimi's character in a lot of ways. She totally has that completely desperate need for.. something. But you don't always have to find what you're looking for in Mimi. I think for a long time before I found S&M I got myself into a lot of bad sex experiences because I didn't have the outlet for being completely destroyed (and built back up) that I have when I have a dom. That's part of what I.. like about it. and I guess it comes from being "all fucked up". And there are other girls I know who are "all fucked up" too. (SEe: Wikipedia definition of promiscuous)
I have a friend with a personality disorder who is intelligent, beautiful, and likes it pretty rough. I haven't actually delved into the depths of d/s with her but I know she's definitley a massochists with handcuffs in her nightstand. We're both in our early 20s and maybe I shouldn't admit to this because a lot of people shun and dislike the "fucked up" subs but there are a lot doing it and humiliation and TRUE self degradation. Maybe this isn't exactly what you're asking? But at least the condition I am explaining applies to #4 because that one applies to me just like it applies to about 1 in 3 women.
I also think there's a lot of women who fall into this fucked up dichodomy of really honestly believing in female empowerment and being in the professional world and still having this sort of need for abuse, or pain, or self destruction that they don't have an outlet for and actually seek out someone who sort of takes their broken pieces and crunches them around. You might not realize it but it DOES make us pretty desperate for a unity between two things that seem almost impossible. Sometimes I'm even jealous of the very domestic subs like some of them I know, who are completley happy serving their master all of the time and also have a lifestyle that is harmonious with it. It's something you almost need to have in your personal life when you feel fucked up inside and don't want to completely fuck up your day to day life - school, work, healthy friendships. I know that I have a tendency to spiral downwards, and a lot of the time I use sex as an outlet for this in very unhealthy ways - well, it was unhealthy until I realized I could have this total mind fuck from a male who cares about me as long as he understands it too.
As far as why you're into this "weird" fetish (as opposed to all of our normal fetishes, lol...) Well, I know for someone who's mostly been in a sub position I really love pushing limits and seeing how far I can go. How much pain I can take. How much humiliation I can deal with. How far I will go to do whatever my Dom says, commands, or asks... There is always the feeling of wanting to take it further, and deeper, to sink lower into complete helplessness to that... So, in the position of a top I don't see why you wouldn't have that desire too.. You want to take it one step further, instead of it being someone who wants to feel like you're exploiting her, you want someone who NEEDS you to exploit her. You want someone COMPLETELY desperate as opposed to a person more willing to push themselves to that level you want someone who is already at rock bottom. Someone already ready to be built up. People like that are very... raw... and I've definitley met some I've been pretty attracted to myself.. Not necessarily exactly the same but.. with a person like that you KNOW they're not pretending when they say they need you. There is less of necessity to trust that aspect of them. Maybe you want someone you can push that much further, degrade that much lower... But I really do think you can probably find someone who is willing to do that and also can live a pretty functional day to day life. We're all hiding something fucked up... it just takes being able to bring it out, exploit it and hopefully know when to stop and be able to "bring them back" because I think that's a really important part of it. The difference for me, between someone just exploiting the fact that I NEED that self-destructive outlet, and someone I consider a real dom is that, you need to be able to build up what you destroy. And, if you know how to destroy it down, I am pretty sure you can find that desperate hopeless look in a lot more of us then just those who are in the 1-3 categories and there are probably more of us in 4 then you'd think.
Maybe I'm explaining something completely obvious, I don't know.. but I am kinda new at actually talking to people about this kind of thing.
It doesn't really seem all that "weird" to me.
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