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obey1 -> RE: D/s versus BDSM (1/30/2007 12:11:24 PM)
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Let me see if I can clarify so that no one is insulted. My intention is not to insult, look down upon, or create enemies in this community.
My education referred to the school of hard knocks more than anything. My BDSM experience began at the age of 4-5 yrs old, progressed onwards to 8, 12, and 17 years old, and then since has been on cruise control. I am 37 now. I have experienced alot of varied aspects, I was molested, my nephew was murdered by a pedophile when he was 2 1/2 yrs. old, and I was always verbally abused by my father and many of those around me. I simply said my education, my experience is different and varied from everyone here. We are not clones, we are all unique.
I have a BS in Exercise Physiology. I chose personal training as a career because it is sort of like being a Pro DM with all the perks. Sweaty gyms with people straining to make theirself more disciplined, liked/loved, sexy, or harder, faster, longer, to increase the quality of their life in some way, or possibly just to let off some steam and stress. I get a kick out of cuffing a girls ankles and putting her on a cable machine and forcing her to do rep upon rep, set upon set until she is sweating and moaning. It is all good, as they say. And I get paid for it.
I thought that the OP was asking a legitimate question. Sir Kenin immediately replied with who the fuck told you? His standard signature is that he doesn't care. I kept reading along and it started to appear that there were a few who were a little nasty and insulting if they could get away with it. Solid descriptions were offered, even historical accounts which were probably the most authorative, but there were still a few who resisted. In fact the B&D scene met the S&M scene and the acronym BDSM was born. I don't really 'like' the acronym as far as that goes, but the words it represents are strong words to begin with. The plain fact is there is no other term (WIITWD) that can be used. I highly doubt that the term will change to anything else in the future. I made the reference that ALT.COM for example avoids this minor semantic dilemma by being more directed towards ALL forms of "alternative lifestyle" hence ALT. In that way it can be more friendly and less intimidating for someone to say that they simply live an alternative lifestyle rather than to be lumped in with the BDSM scene. And there are those people here too.
D/s is the D in BDSM. I agree with the power exchange theory and disagree with the just for fun theory. We have checkboxes on the profile site to dial in interests, and someone could be on this site if they only checked the single box "traditional household" and nothing more. Married life in the post-war 50's accomplished MUCH of the D/s drive in many of the people here. Husbands had alot more leeway with regard to CP, even to the wife, and the kids. You were spanked, stood in the corner, or dragged home from school by your ear. Nowdays parents go to jail if they lay a hand on the kid and the kid goes and complains to someone or it is witnessed in public.
So my distinction is BDSM is the main acronym by which we coalesce into a community. D/s is a form of that whether there is CP or not, or whether you are fishing or not. It is the now separating (present imperfect) tense by which we are going to have to deal with the lack of discipline that is basically bringing our country down in shambles. Economic issues bring this out, political issues bring this out, lack of direction brings this out. I respect subs because they are looking for someone to assist them in their decision making, their stability, or their mental hurdles they have to face in the world of Gorean Earth, where things are rapidly becoming alien to them.
So no one can say that there are two seperate ideas, as D/s came from and is a result of the dark ages of torture and witch-hunting, as is BDSM. There is one historical record and although ideas evolve and self-identify, they still have their roots in the past. There are hundreds upon hundreds of forms of Christianity, but there is only one person they are all based on, even if their methodology and exegesis do not agree.
When someone asks a question, to say to them I don't care what you do, but this is what I do, I begin to become 'emotionally tied' to that person's need to have the respect we are all 'looking' for, and a building need to ask (rather abrasively) "If you ultimately do not care what I think, why do you feel the need to post here?"
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