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slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 11:23:45 AM   
subsa


Posts: 196
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		i've decided that there are so many of these threads because many of us are new and still searching for our identities.  yesterday i had one of those aha!!! moments.  i think i know where i fit! (at least for today)

i was laying on the floor after just finished a heavy bondage session.  the lyrics of a song in the background said..now you know that you are free!  and literally i did.  but was i really free?  i decide that yes; i was free.  free until the next moment that i had to choose between my will and Master's.  for me that must be the difference.  between the moments of bending to Master's will, i am free.  a slave is never free.  not even in those moments.  i'm a submissive because i belong to myself but i make constant, on-going  decisions to submit.  a slave makes that decision once. 
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 11:33:00 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		i love those aha moments. :)

to me, the reason i am a slave and not necessarily a submissive (although i identify as such because that's the word He uses), is because i don't think there's ever been a choosing between my will and His - it's always been His. i like bending; i guess i'm just flexible that way, hehehehe.

but i think this is an awesome post. one way isn't really better than the other; often some dominants don't really want slaves, just like some submissives aren't meant to be slaves, if that makes sense. if it works for you and your master, then that's what's important.

(in reply to subsa)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 12:10:36 PM   
SlaveAkasha


Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		That works good for you, because that is how you define being a slave..not having to make the choice each time to submit..but thats not how it is for every slave or for every sub. 
 
I make the choice each time to submit to Master, and I am very much his slave.  I can change my mind anytime and walk away, therefore giving up the right to belong to him.
 
It's great that you had that moment where you felt at peace with what you have decided you are, I don't fault you for that, its a great feeling. 
 
Not every sub though, and every slave will fit into a category though, we are all different and so are our relationships.
 
Best wishes,
Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to subsa)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 12:34:51 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I think it's a good post and I'm glad these definations work for you. They don't work for me though. I'm a submissive but I don't make constant decisions to submit. I don't wake up everyday and decide "Yes I will continue to submit." I have already made my decision and my submission is his to do with what he wills.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 12:38:10 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have have seen more than one slave state they found freedom in slavery

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 12:55:09 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		This definition really doesn't work for me. But kudos for being self-aware.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 12:56:18 PM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		When I describe my "aha moment" - when I realized exactly why I am the way I am, and how I fit into this world, I told people that it was like putting together a huge puzzle... thousands of pieces (each one making up a piece of who I am) and getting to the end only to find that one piece, right in the middle is missing.... for years you look, the puzzle remaining on the table awaiting the final piece to make it whole, then one day - out of the blue - you look down, and there it is!  The missing piece!  You place it into it's place in the puzzle, sit back and sigh heavily and with great relief... it's done!  It's beautiful! and it looks just like you thought it would.  With great relief in your heart, you can paste it and hang it for all the world to see... proud that you have completed such a masterpiece.

That's how I felt when I realized that I am a submissive... through and through... with only the desire to serve and please the man that can dominate me.  Only 3 months later - I met him.  Since I believe everything happens for a reason, I reasoned that my puzzle had to be complete to accept Him in my life and to submit to him willingly.

It's a beautiful thing to feel so complete.  I've not looked back since.

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to subsa)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 1:42:26 PM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsa
....... i think i know where i fit! (at least for today)....
......... between the moments of bending to Master's will, i am free.  a slave is never free.  not even in those moments.  i'm a submissive because i belong to myself but i make constant, on-going  decisions to submit.  a slave makes that decision once. 


It is important that you have found your understanding and definition of the terms.. We have to do that so we can then talk about it and understand each other. be on the same page so to speak.

for me i am a slave but i have to make the decision all the time, every moment, to submit because i don't have the freedom to NOT submit. I still have free will, part of being a human. so i have free will and every thing that comes up i have to decide to submit to the Master's will and decisions.

I may have made the decision to be a slave once, but the decision to submit is constant. Thank goodness it is an easy task for me with my Master.

(in reply to subsa)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 4:38:32 PM   
subsa


Posts: 196
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		to those of you who identify as slave...do you believe you belong to yourself?  do you ever have moments where you feel free? 

(in reply to goodpet)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 4:50:46 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i'm a submissive because i belong to myself but i make constant, on-going  decisions to submit.  a slave makes that decision once. 


I'm glad you have reached that piont for yourself.

As long as you understand that I know plenty of submissives who do NOT make the conscious on-going decision to submit, and plenty of slaves will be happy to say that "The only choice a slave has is to obey or leave...at every point in the relationship."

To me a relationship of any sort requires constant growth together- and on some level you MUST be making the choice to keep going as the relationship goes along.

For me the slave/sub thing has nothing to do with choice- I think everyone is making the same choices all the time and subs don't go around in the morning saying "Will I submit today or not?" and slaves don't go through life without ever wondering "Is this the right choice for me?"

But, as you've learned, the only thing that really matters is what resonates within you.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to subsa)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 4:52:01 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsa

to those of you who identify as slave...do you believe you belong to yourself?  do you ever have moments where you feel free? 

I am free when I am true to myself.

Many slaves have found delicious freedom in their chains.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to subsa)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 5:48:27 PM   
italian4pain


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		I feel free everytime I come before Master and submit to his will.  It is extraordinarily freeing to be with someone who understands and enjoys my masochisim....and inherent kinky-ness.

As to belonging to myself.....once that decision is made to give yourself to a Dominant....then you really don't belong to yourself anymore.  Not if your a slave.  What your left with is free will and hopefully the ability to make intelligent decisions without having to ask your owner.  Slaves still need to be self-sufficient in order to function in the real world.....

_____________________________

You can't fix stupid - Ron White

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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 6:06:46 PM   
desires2


Posts: 39
Joined: 1/26/2007
Status: offline 		I myself say I am submissive--by choice and desire.  Could I be a slave?  The answer is yes, maybe.  The love I feel for my Sir is so deep that I want to please Him and make Him happy.  We are more than just Dom/sub, we are Man/woman, lovers and partners.  My happiness comes from pleasing Him and seeing to his needs.  I think He respects my ideas and decisions, and only enhances them with His love and guidance.  So whatever title you wear, be true to yourself.~Smiles~

(in reply to italian4pain)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 6:31:43 PM   
behindmirrors


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsa

to those of you who identify as slave...do you believe you belong to yourself?  do you ever have moments where you feel free? 


I belong to my Dom, but I understand that I will continue to be myself all the same, and still have the responisbility of ownership of how I feel and what I do. Though he may dictate what the actions are, they are still my actions when I do them. He likes to remind me that I have free will to make decisions on my service to him and in my own life, though he lays claim to me through ownership. I am capable in determining how to best do things for my own work, and though he may tell me what the task is that needs doing, he allows me the freedom to do it as I best can and as I think is most effective.

As for moments where I feel free- yes, I have those, and often. It is freedom to me to live my life with him as I choose- and I made the choice to be his slave. I don't feel like I've given up my freedom- instead, I feel like I have been given the chance to be free.

Hope this helps-
behindmirrors.

(in reply to subsa)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 8:45:46 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I apologize for saying this but, .......

Yes, that is a cockeyed view of submission versus slavery.

I know it's all terminology, but I'll give my viewpoint of what being a slave means.

A slave is someone who no longer has to concern themself with (basically) themself, such that they can devote their attention to the Master/Mistress.  The exception is self-preservation.

What this means is that, because someone else is making the decisions, choices, and assuming the responsibilities of behavior and emotions (of the slave), the slave is FREER to be able to focus his/herself to the owner.

A submissive, on the other hand, always has to balance anygivenactivity to determine whether or not their limits are unfairly pushed or whether the area of their life they are keeping to themself is being rubbed against.

I think I gave this example the other day.  A Dom tells the sub 'next time we get together, you will be wearing 5" white pumps'.  Advising dress requirements IS part of the power exchange, but financial decisions are NOT and as it turns out the sub doesn't HAVE 5" white pumps.  What to do, what to do?

There's actually the possibility of too much 'maintenance' to a D/s relationship that needn't exist in an M/s relationship.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 8:52:17 PM   
italian4pain


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		White pumps?  After labor day?  lol



_____________________________

You can't fix stupid - Ron White

(in reply to mstrjx)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/28/2007 9:15:55 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsa
a slave is never free.  not even in those moments.  i'm a submissive because i belong to myself but i make constant, on-going  decisions to submit.  a slave makes that decision once. 


Believe it or not, this slave is free to submit or not and to stay or not, anytime.  Of course, those are both the same, for me, really, because, if i decided to no longer submit, it would mean that i would be going, not only because my Master has no use for a nonsubmissive slave, but also because i would no longer be fulfilling a purpose here.  And, above all else, i have a tremendous need to feel that i am fulfilling a purpose.  i would never just stop submitting, but i can, at any time ask my Master to release me and He would let me go.  In fact, i have done that once, in a moment of high emotional turmoil.  i took my collar off and laid it neatly on the kitchen table, right next to Master's empty coffee cup.  i asked my Master to release me and He said that He would, although He wanted to know why and He wanted to talk to me about it.   i quickly came to my senses and reversed myself and begged for forgiveness and to be taken back, which my very wonderful Master did, luckily for me.  But, there is hardly a day that goes by, even with knowing how lucky i am to be owned by a truly remarkable man, that i don't question whether or not i should be a slave, not to Him, but to anyone.  i question whether or not i should let go of this whole notion of being a slave and go back out in the world as an independent woman.  Fortunately, i realize, almost as soon as i have asked the question, that i am in the best possible place for me right now and it would be a dreadful mistake if i were to leave.  Still, the question remains and each and every day i examine my life and each and every day i make the decision, not just once, but over and over again that i am a slave and this is where i belong.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to subsa)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/29/2007 12:35:19 AM   
asiandoll27


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		white pumps after Labor Day - isn't that bad luck. lol Silver pumps - on the other hand- - has more fashion promise - and usually with same outfits!!
Submisive by choice and desire, that is great way to identify how i think of it. i could probably aspire to be a wonderful slave, but its not what i feel i want.

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/29/2007 2:35:05 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I don't really identify with either submissive or slave;  I'm basically just *a person who happens to have chosen to live under the authority of another*.

I use the word *slave* because it's a closer description than *submissive*........and quicker to type.

I don't have a longing to serve, I often don't want to submit my will, I don't spend my every waking moment thinking of ways to make his life easier, my whole purpose in life hasn't been to please him and I don't always do as I'm supposed to.

He still owns me. However difficult or easy being owned is, is really down to me.

agirl





(in reply to subsa)
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RE: slave vs. submissive round #1001 - 1/29/2007 4:31:13 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have have seen more than one slave state they found freedom in slavery


this is how slavery feels to me. because i wouldn't be -happy- doing anything else - i wouldn't be who i am.


(in reply to juliaoceania)
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